1dayatatime2015

Hey everyone....I'm new to these forums and really need to put into words how I'm feeling right now. It is day one for me again. I've been in this battle with myself for so long and yet I'm constantly failing at it. I've tried so many times to stop or moderate my drinking unsuccessfully. I've gone to a couple of AA meetings, joined some online AA groups, downloaded apps to help, read books, confessed my problem to a few and still here I sit not totally hungover but knowing that I need to get a grip on my life. I am still high functioning but I know that could change. I had a very embarrassing experience about a month ago involving alcohol. Very embarrassing in front of a small group of ppl I really care about and respect. You would think that would be enough to make me stop but it wasn't. I do great during the work week and don't drink at all but the weekends are impossible for me. My husband is a drinker too which makes it that much harder for me. I really want to stop permanently and I have given it up in the past for almost 9 months but I still wasn't happy somehow. I felt resentful and frustrated that I couldn't be "normal". Anyhow here I am. I don't know what to do anymore. Thx for letting me vent.

FeelingGreat

Hi 1day, think about giving up drinking as your choice, not something imposed on you. It has to come from your own feelings about what sort of person you want to be, and how you decide to live your life.
Stay around SR - it can make a big difference having support from others who know what you're going through.

biminiblue

Welcome to the forums.

The resentful thing...if you were allergic to milk would you be resentful? I have more fun and am much happier without alcohol. It makes a lot of promises of good times, but what it actually delivers is misery.

I am who I am, and who I am is someone who cannot drink a couple. I want that buzz, and won't stop once I get it. That compulsive, obsessive behavior is part of my makeup and isn't going to change.

nyala

I spent my periods of sobriety last year grieving for a bullying friend that wasn't dead.

Who, instead kept turning up at my door with a sackful of promises, only to kick me in the head again and then mock me for my weakness.

Now I have proper friends here - whom I will probably never meet.

I am not giving up anything. There is nothing to resent.

1dayatatime2015

Thanks everyone for your responses. I need to make my mind over about alcohol. It really is "all in my head". I know I've had times in my life where I've had fun without it and the reality for me is that alcohol isn't really "fun" anymore. There has never been an occasion in my life where I regretted NOT drinking but so many occasions where I regretted having it. Thanks for all your support!

nyala

Hello 1dayatatime...

Why not check out the Class of July 2015 thread. You will find a bunch of people who are in exactly the same place as you.

Your last post ( this one I am replying too ) is more or less exactly me just over a month ago. I was hopeless and full of self-loathing for trying and failing to do it by myself before.

Read - and more importantly - post here. Often. Especially in the first few days. Everyone knows what you are going through and everyone wants you to feel better...

Go well on your journey

Fradley ( Class of June 2015 )

Soberwolf

Welcome to SR 1dayatatime

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

Dee74

Hi 1dayatatime2015

I remember thinking I'd never get my life together either. ...but I did.
It took a lot of work but I had great support here.

I know you'll find that same great support
welcome

D

Hevyn

Good to meet you 1day. I know you can get free. I did, after 30 yrs. of dependency.

YT2015

Hi there,

I understand what your going though when your trying and being tempted the the whole time. My husband drinks too. Stay strong. I'll be looking for more posts from you and thanks for sharing its nice to feel less alone in this.