hope1230

Hello everyone,
I have been reading this sight for many months, and it has been very helpful. I have a 20 year history of binge drinking; I am not a daily, my longest bout of sobriety was 2008-2009. But when I do binge, it can last for a few days to one week where I can stay drunk for 24 hours. Then I muster my inner strength, and stop cold turkey for a month, sometimes 2. However the withdrawals are getting worse and worse with each binge.

I am in my mid 40's, single, no husband, no SO, no parents, no grandparents, my who family is gone, so I don't have anyone to hold me accountable. In fact I work from home so may times, no one even knows I'm on a bender.

I have tried AA, and have found it wasn't for me. I am desperate to stay sober, and I'm hoping I can find encouragement and support here. And maybe someday offer some too!

Thank you in advance to anyone who responds.

Lenina

hi hope! Welcome. If AA isn't for you, have you read up on Rational Recovery and AVRT? That's what helped me the most, I think. AA is good, it's good for the support and accountability.

You can read about AVRT (addictive voice recognition technique) in the Secular Connections. It's a stickie at the top of the forum. Give it a read.

Again, Welcome, I hope you'll stay. We do recover.

Love from Lenina

ScottFromWI

Welcome hope. Your story is a very familiar one, thanks for sharing. You'll find a lot of support here on SR. One thing you may want to do is sign up for one of the montly "class" threads here and or some of the 24 hr threads. That way you can post/read daily and become part of a group with similar goals/concerns.

Don't rule out other forms of local recovery either - there are plenty of other methods besides AA, but don't even rule that out as an eventual option. Many people say that a particular recovery method "isn't for them"...and I don't just mean AA. What I do mean is that if you truly are desperate to get better, you will keep an open mind and try anything that helps. Every recovery method is going to require you do to do things that you don't really want to do - it only makes sense because you are working against your addiction, and addiction is a very strong opponent.

biminiblue

Welcome, hope.

I can relate to having no family and drinking because - why not?

Stopping was the best thing I've done for my health and sanity. I was pretty far gone, and didn't even know it until I stopped.

Lean on us We're glad you're here.

hope1230

Thank you so much Lenina. I have read Rational Recovery and recognizing the addictive voice. It was very helpful for a few months, and then I go straight back to bingeing. Like they say, its easy to stop; the hard part is staying stopped. I find that if I visit this sight daily, it helps tremendously, so thank you again for your response.

FeelingGreat

Hi hope, why not set yourself a time goal? I said I would go for a year by which time I was so happy I just kept going.
When you relapse and binge, is it because you've allowed yourself to get too hungry or stressed? You can plan against that happening.

hope1230

Thank you ScottfromWI, I'm not too tech savvy but I will for sure try to navigate this site, to find the Forums that are most appropriate for me. I was considering getting wine this morning, ha!, but after hearing from you all, I'm going to commit to 24 sober hours. Much gratitude to you all.

least

Welcome to the family. I hope the support here can help you get sober for good.

hope1230

Hi-
I have tried to commit to 90 days, and I still struggled with that. Perhaps 30 days might be less intimidating, I struggling what to do with my extra time? And yes, I tend to start drinking when I'm hungry. Not a good situation to be in.

Surrender2win

Welcome to SR Hope! Read and post here often. It helps. I post on the 24 hour recovery connection thread under newcomers daily support. That keeps me committed as well. Good luck on our journey.

hope1230

Thank you for the welcome! It took me forever to join and post, but you have made me feel much better. I hope to participate in more threads when I learn how to use the site better. I'm going for a walk instead of getting wine. Hugs to all of you.

hope1230

Thank you, I will do this today

gettingsmarter

Welcome hope

FeelingGreat

It's counter-intuitive, but setting a longer goal worked much better for me because it was far enough in the future to stop thinking about it constantly. Try for 12 months and see how you go.

If you drink when hungry (very common situation) make sure you don't get too hungry by carrying some snacks around with you and eating regularly. It's not a huge problem - you just have to want to be sober enough to plan.

hope1230

I absolutely agree with a longer sobriety goal. It will be interesting in that I have a very robust social life (good friends) and alcohol is everywhere. Perhaps I should cut my socializing for a few months to focus completely on my sobriety. Also, I do my best to carry nuts or some portable snack with me through out the day. Thank you for the insights, you are correct my sobriety needs to be my #1 goal, so I will have to plan accordingly.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Hope!!

thomas11

Hi Hope, very sorry to hear about your situation. I feel fortunate to have parents that are still alive, a wife and so forth, so I imagine it must be difficult. Then again, family can be a real pain in the you know what as well!
I guess the only things I can offer are that the withdrawals will get worse, and can become almost debilitating. I flirted with that level once and never want to return. You mentioned you have a very active social life with alcohol everywhere, this might be a good place to start your journey. As difficult as it is, pulling back on the social life may help, or even be necessary. I wish you the very best and please post often on your progress.

Hevyn

Great to meet you hope! Talking things over here will really help - you're never alone with your thoughts & questions. We've all been where you are.

I was a binge drinker too, once. Eventually it led me to total dependency. I'm glad you're taking a look at what it's doing to your life.

FeelingGreat

While it's true that you have to want sobriety more that anything else, you can give yourself the best chance by practical measures. Avoiding alcohol based events was essential for me at first, because it taps straight into old habits. You can be proactive by meeting up with friends for walks, breakfast etc. rather than in the evening.
When I did meet up for drinks later in my sobriety I made sure I had a big glass of soft drink in my hand as soon as I arrived.

TroyW

I'm right there with you. Hell, I moved to the other side of planet so I could drink myself stupid without anyone knowing.

You're going to need to dig deep, and I mean really deep. As Dee mentioned in a previous thread, no mucking about allowed. Dig deep.

What steps can you take to transform your life as necessary to gain long term sobriety?