Boxer

[QUOTE=TroyW;5463822]Yeah, I know what I need to do. Trust people again. What a bitch that's going to be. Gotta say, too many people out there view kindness as weakness.

Truer words have never been spoken (errrrr......written).

Zebra1275

Nah, I'm fine. I don't really get hangovers, to be honest

Troy, you sound young and probably have a young person's ability to recover.

Someday you won't.

What I found out is that alcoholism is progressive and as the years went by my ability to recover the next day decreased.

Then I made the genius discovery that drinking a couple of beers with breakfast the next day eased the pain of a hangover. It was a slippery slope downward from there.

TroyW

Nah, not young. I'll be 34 shortly, so definitely no spring chicken. I look quite young though, if that helps any. I still don't even have any arm pit hair, let alone chest hair. Not sure how that happened, but whatever, wasn't my decision.

But no, I sound like my mom, or in other words, a typical alcoholic. Confronted her twice now about her drinking. First time she got really hurt. Second time was, "I know I drink too much, but I don't give a ****, because I'm old, and can do whatever I want". Alright then, end of that conversation. I found out she did fall down and hit her head though, which isn't good.

Dee74

When you get to Zebs and my age 34 *is* young Troy - and we're not being facetious or condescending - I really started realising I wasn't made of titanium after age 35 or so...my body and mind *really* stopped bouncing back.

D

TroyW

Damnit, I went into shut down mode again. Was doing great, working away, made enough to live for a couple months, then just totally shut down again.

I can't do this much longer. I'm at the end of the rope (literally -- I don't want those thoughts to come back).

I don't know, does it even matter? Go sit down for a coffee with someone -- look into their eyes and their soul. Everyone is sad, and everyone is hurting in one way or another. Does it really matter?

Soberwolf

Of course it & you matter im 33 Troy i consider myself young.....ish LOL

If you ever want to talk catch up or vent send a msg

Keep posting regular check ins it will help

toadie54

I too have looked at an empty (large) bottle many times and wondered how I can do it...amazing what your body can learn to tolerate over the years.

Best of luck on heading in your new direction in life.

Dee74

I see your AV is as philosophical as mine.

Drinking damned near killed me - I was lucky to make 40.

As I round the corner to 50 I can look back at all I've done with my life in the last few years and the happiness I've found after being sad for many many years.

I think settling for a sad life, going nowhere would be a tragedy for you Troy.

You could do great things. You could be happy.
You do matter.

It's time you believed that again and let your actions reflect that belief.

D

Nuudawn

I get that. I've pulled in and out of soberville a number of times in the last decade. And here I am back ..just over a week sober. Despite my failures, I have grown to realize that it is my relationship with me that creates all my misery. Somewhere, sometime, somehow..I will learn how to be my own best friend. I have lamented my lonelieness and feeling of being alone..most of my life. I have drank over it...often. I have been in and out of relationship..and it seems my drinking gets worse "in relationship"..it's like I have to hide even more!

Under the drinking...under it all..it's you ..you have to start caring about. It's also you ..you have to pull up short and question why you treat yourself so sh*tty...why you don't care where you're going or what your dreams are ..or interests or how you can be happy. Instead of running from ourselves ..somehow we have to figure out how to stand up for ourselves...talk back to the dark side trying to keep you down and out.

It's is the bane of my existence..but I suspect, I'm going to get it..I'm going to learn to live with myself...someday.

How bout you?

thomas11

Troy, sorry to hear you are in a dark place. I believe many of us with substance abuse issues go there. We flirt with putting an permanent end to the madness. I certainly have, but it is fleeting. It is very real at the moment, but realistically I knew I wouldn't go there. Too many success stories out there, and I deserve a shot at my own. So do you. Thinking about you boss. Take care.