I wake up googling AA but fall asleep pissed, etc etc...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
I wake up googling AA but fall asleep pissed, etc etc...
I am stuck in a loop and despite reading and researching during the day, every night I drink to blackout....
Calling anyone else still stuck in this loop to share...
I know there's help out there, I know there's steps to take, I know there's plans to make, I know there's a better me and a better future....
But anyone literally stuck like super glue in my situation, would like to chat....
I suspect there's a hell of a lot of heavy drinkers like me that frequent these boards but don't post because although we're "thinking" about quitting we're not actually there yet, so we lurk, we read, we drink, we lurk, we read, we drink, etc etc....
Anyone else out there like me?
A post for drinkers in trouble, but far from sobriety... Is this OK Dee?
Calling anyone else still stuck in this loop to share...
I know there's help out there, I know there's steps to take, I know there's plans to make, I know there's a better me and a better future....
But anyone literally stuck like super glue in my situation, would like to chat....
I suspect there's a hell of a lot of heavy drinkers like me that frequent these boards but don't post because although we're "thinking" about quitting we're not actually there yet, so we lurk, we read, we drink, we lurk, we read, we drink, etc etc....
Anyone else out there like me?
A post for drinkers in trouble, but far from sobriety... Is this OK Dee?
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Welcome Fuzzy, glad you're here.
In drink or in sobriety you are not alone. At some point I took steps away from the problem and into the solution. That is what many find here on SR. Sobriety can be a process, but it takes desire........
Sounds like your getting ready - have you tried to quit in the past?
I use AA and SR - it's a great combination for me.
Check out a bunch of posts and you'll find all types of friends here - you can search by keyword if desired.
I searched words / phrases like relapsed, "drunk again", "have to stop" ., " new here" and so on. Just go to search in the toolbar and you'll figure it out.
Keep posting and keep coming back.......
In drink or in sobriety you are not alone. At some point I took steps away from the problem and into the solution. That is what many find here on SR. Sobriety can be a process, but it takes desire........
Sounds like your getting ready - have you tried to quit in the past?
I use AA and SR - it's a great combination for me.
Check out a bunch of posts and you'll find all types of friends here - you can search by keyword if desired.
I searched words / phrases like relapsed, "drunk again", "have to stop" ., " new here" and so on. Just go to search in the toolbar and you'll figure it out.
Keep posting and keep coming back.......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
Yes I've thought about calling the helpline...
I did AA several years ago for "one" measly month...
Found it helpful, but a little scary and cultish, someone messaged me 5 times a day from different phone numbers, she had a speech impediment and I just couldn't understand her on the phone, it was awful, and even though I was sober at that time she freaked me out, I asked someone to be my sponsor and they declined... A. Visit away from home had me drinking again and now here we are 5 years later, 2 kids, 2 bottles of wine a night... So the whole experience isn't rushing me back there, although I feel it is probably the way forward...
I did AA several years ago for "one" measly month...
Found it helpful, but a little scary and cultish, someone messaged me 5 times a day from different phone numbers, she had a speech impediment and I just couldn't understand her on the phone, it was awful, and even though I was sober at that time she freaked me out, I asked someone to be my sponsor and they declined... A. Visit away from home had me drinking again and now here we are 5 years later, 2 kids, 2 bottles of wine a night... So the whole experience isn't rushing me back there, although I feel it is probably the way forward...
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum!! 
I went round in the same circles for years, each morning have good intentions, but by the time I was leaving work would be on the way to the liquor store again.
What I realised though was good intentions, hoping things would be different or my won sheer willpower simply wasn't enough, my addiction was too powerful.
Instead I needed to make Sobriety happen with actions, change up my routines, make radical decisions on my activities and who to hang out with going forward, revolutionising my lifestyle, rather than simply hoping things would be different somehow "this time"!!
You can do this!!
I went round in the same circles for years, each morning have good intentions, but by the time I was leaving work would be on the way to the liquor store again.
What I realised though was good intentions, hoping things would be different or my won sheer willpower simply wasn't enough, my addiction was too powerful.
Instead I needed to make Sobriety happen with actions, change up my routines, make radical decisions on my activities and who to hang out with going forward, revolutionising my lifestyle, rather than simply hoping things would be different somehow "this time"!!
You can do this!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
At the point I became desperate enough, I stopped.
Each person's "desperate" is different. I was sick of the cycle and I had tried moderation for a couple years and it was exhausting. I just wanted to be out of it once and for all. If I couldn't stay buzzed 24/7 - then what was the point? It just wasn't working. I didn't even realize how bad I had gotten until I actually quit.
Why not just stop for a year and see how it goes? It is so much better on this side. As they say in AA, if you want to go back to drinking, your misery will be gladly refunded.
Day one?
Each person's "desperate" is different. I was sick of the cycle and I had tried moderation for a couple years and it was exhausting. I just wanted to be out of it once and for all. If I couldn't stay buzzed 24/7 - then what was the point? It just wasn't working. I didn't even realize how bad I had gotten until I actually quit.
Why not just stop for a year and see how it goes? It is so much better on this side. As they say in AA, if you want to go back to drinking, your misery will be gladly refunded.
Day one?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 3,293
I'm sorry your going through such a rough time. Believe me, people here will totally understand. I don't know if this will help, but in addition to SR, you could also go on you tube and type in alcohol annonamous (sp). You will get a chance to hear other peoples' struggles and how they got through them. Good luck and stay in touch. John
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
Alcoholics Anonymous (Great Britain) Ltd - Home
http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/
Make this first post count & make the call (i understand this wasnt easy to post about)
I had burns & was shaking like a leaf when i went to my first mtn i got picked up by someone they were understanding & kind
Wouldnt it be amazing if you made the call & rather than googling youd be planning on going to a mtn
Anyone can stop drinking but they have to want to stop
Do you want to stop
http://www.smartrecovery.org.uk/
Make this first post count & make the call (i understand this wasnt easy to post about)
I had burns & was shaking like a leaf when i went to my first mtn i got picked up by someone they were understanding & kind
Wouldnt it be amazing if you made the call & rather than googling youd be planning on going to a mtn
Anyone can stop drinking but they have to want to stop
Do you want to stop
Adventurer
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Tuxedo Park, NY
Posts: 1,101
I lurked on many sites for years. It took me a long time before I made a plan to actually quit. The merry-go-round kept going for me. Drink, swear never again and a few days or hours later repeat.
You will have good support here, I wish I spoke up earlier. You have nothing to be ashamed of here, we have all been through it.
You will have good support here, I wish I spoke up earlier. You have nothing to be ashamed of here, we have all been through it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 927
I'm so fuzzed...
Family drink, friends drink, doesn't everyone drink?
I HATE the feeling in the morning when I realise what I did or said, I delete as much as I can online (it's normally gushy emotional reconnections with people I've lost touch with over 20 years) and I C R I N G E. Beyond belief, I hate bloody Internet. It used to be hearsay down the pub, now it's in print, it's horrendous....
Family drink, friends drink, doesn't everyone drink?
I HATE the feeling in the morning when I realise what I did or said, I delete as much as I can online (it's normally gushy emotional reconnections with people I've lost touch with over 20 years) and I C R I N G E. Beyond belief, I hate bloody Internet. It used to be hearsay down the pub, now it's in print, it's horrendous....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Originally Posted by foreverfuzzy 
I wish someone could ban it from my world, it's gone, end of....
Originally Posted by foreverfuzzy
Family drink, friends drink, doesn't everyone drink?
When we drink all we see is alcohol, everywhere around us and other people drinking, but this is a myth, Sobriety opening my eyes about how little some people drink, how many people don't drink and how obsessed about alcohol I actually was!!
The question is therefore not what is going on around us, whether alcohol is legal, who else drinks, but what are we going to do to address OUR issue with alcohol?
That's what got the ball rolling in my journey!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Fuzzy, many of us have been caught in the cycle of wanting to stop drinking but not managing to do it. Honestly, in the end, I had to take a leap of faith because I knew I couldn't continue the way things were, and yet I was terrified to stop drinking.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 174
Oh... I can completely relate ForeverFuzzy.
I have attempted to quit, moderate and control my drinking for probably 8-10 years now. It's definitely gone from something I am concerned about to something I'm honestly scared of. Like you, I have tried a number of resources, including AA. Nothing seems to work.
If it weren't for the stories I read on here of people who have beaten their addiction I would think it was absolutely impossible. I am 35 years old, and I am genuinely worried I will die before I can get sober. It's a sad thought.
But I know it can be done. I know it based on what I read here.
I have attempted to quit, moderate and control my drinking for probably 8-10 years now. It's definitely gone from something I am concerned about to something I'm honestly scared of. Like you, I have tried a number of resources, including AA. Nothing seems to work.
If it weren't for the stories I read on here of people who have beaten their addiction I would think it was absolutely impossible. I am 35 years old, and I am genuinely worried I will die before I can get sober. It's a sad thought.
But I know it can be done. I know it based on what I read here.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 40
After getting in the habit of doing something for years saying no to yourself isn't easy to do and can be foreign. You have to change your thought process, every time you want to drink deny yourself, your body and mind might throw a tantrum like a child but keep at it, it'll get easier.
Of course you also have to be safe, quitting alcohol cold turkey after many years can effect different people in different ways, I would contact your doctor before you decide to quit (if you decide) and let him or her know your plans and get their thoughts on it.
Of course you also have to be safe, quitting alcohol cold turkey after many years can effect different people in different ways, I would contact your doctor before you decide to quit (if you decide) and let him or her know your plans and get their thoughts on it.
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
We Learn Fuzzy like Anna said it takes a leap of faith
None of us found this easy thats why its such a wonderful community that i myself still learn from as little as a half hour ago
We make mistakes but its the learning from those mistakes that helps us stay away & decline
There are some fantastic wise ppl here make full use of the support network here
None of us found this easy thats why its such a wonderful community that i myself still learn from as little as a half hour ago
We make mistakes but its the learning from those mistakes that helps us stay away & decline
There are some fantastic wise ppl here make full use of the support network here
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Originally Posted by foreverfuzzy
Anyone else out there like me?
A post for drinkers in trouble, but far from sobriety... Is this OK Dee?
A post for drinkers in trouble, but far from sobriety... Is this OK Dee?
Getting sober is scary - no doubt about it...But drinking more years away is scarier IMO.
Check out the Class of July support thread
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-2-a-13.html
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I was afraid of what my life would be like sober. It turns out it's a lot better in many ways. I wake up feeling good and I no longer wake up hating myself.
I look back and wonder why I didn't get sober sooner.
I look back and wonder why I didn't get sober sooner.
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