YT2015

I joined this group to stay honest with myself and to seek support...

I was excited with my decision to get strait, stayed sober 3 days and then while doing laundry found a stash of shooter's.... Resisted about 4 hours in which all I could think about were the shots just sitting there waiting....
This triggered the next 4 days of drunkenness and back to my old self.....

This morning I'm shaking my head ashamed of my failure and realizing how hard this is going to be.

Back at square one. Day one

Rachinator

I've had a lot of day #1's too. Pick yourself up, get rid of the toxic stuff around you, get rid of the toxic people around you. It will be hard, and recovery isn't a fairy tale but it's worth it in the end

ts808

Starting over can be disheartening, I know from experience, but it sounds like you have the will and determination to quit and that's very important. Next time you are tempted think about how you feel right now and use it to say no.

Soberwolf

Welcome YT nice to meet you

biminiblue

It's the first one that we have to avoid.

If there's no first one, there's no four days of drunkenness to follow.

Maybe come up with a plan what to do when faced with the opportunity to drink. There will be a lot of opportunity.

Anna

Yes, it is very hard. I got rid of all the alcohol in the house and that helped in the early days.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

2muchpain

Those things happen, so try not to let it derail your recovery. I once found a small can of martini's in the trunk of my car. Couldn't resist. Blew two days on that one can. Just shows how important it is in early recovery to not have any liquor around. Take it as lessoned learned and keep going. Going from point A to point B in recovery isn't always a straight line. You're doing fine. John

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, YT.

Great advice above.

thomas11

Everyone is sobriety started with Day 1. Glad you joined this site and it sounds like you joined for the right reasons. I haven't mentioned this before but sometimes I think the "excitement" of sobriety (or I should say over-excitement) can be a disadvantage because one is so pumped up to quit, that when they slip, its devastating. If you read alot on this site, you'll see that relapses and slips are very common both early on and for some, years later. I've tried to remain very tempered. Not too up, not too down. Anyway, welcome and I wish you the very best.

dunkelheit

I too had many Day 1s. Still working on it. Today's day 2 from some people's point of view, because my goal is moderation.

It'll happen. Just don't beat yourself up over slip-ups.

ScottFromWI

There is no such thing as Day one for those who can moderate their drinking. If you are not an alcoholic, you simply do it. If you have to consciously even think abour moderation you probably can't do it anyway . I think that's exactly what the OP has found..its really all or nothing if you are an alcoholic.

Hevyn

Welcome YT - you're in good company. We all understand what you're going through.

I knew for a long time that I needed to quit, but it took me a while to warm up to the idea & actually take action. When I joined SR I was encouraged by the discussions & success of so many. I found I wasn't alone, & that meant everything. It doesn't stay this hard forever. You'll grow stronger and more determined. Keep reading and posting.

YT2015

Hi everyone. Im posting on here because for some reason I can't make a new thread

I'd like to open by saying its really nice to vent: Admit the things that I hide from everyone including myself.
Its also nice to get positive feedback and also read your threads and comments. Its nice to know I'm not alone.

Bad news first: Well after the binge on may way home my husband asked me to pick him up a few shots to ease his recovery. I did and rested grabbing more for myself. On the way home and passing another store it got the best of me and I stopped for more.

Good news I only drank 2 of them not the usual 6 or more and a couple tall cans to wash them down as usual. So that was a victory in itself 'for me'

I woke up this morning feeling good. No groggy hung over brain and it was nice not tossing up a few times before heading into work.

I feel good and I'm ready for a few days off with sobriety on my mind.

I've decided to take it one day at a time and get the excitement of a new life falling right into my lap out of my head. I know with better choices and more restraint it will come... its just going to take some time and commitment.

thomas11

You didn't get to this point overnight, and you likely won't get out of it overnight. But good job on at least showing some restraint. Its a small start.