isabelles

I am reading along but doubt if I can post anything of value. Stratman: you write to get help and attention, you get both of course. And no, I dont know you and I have no idea what is ticking you off at the moment.
Drinking is not the solution and you know it. Freeowl has a point: cut the crap.

ccam1973

Plenty of options today Strat. Like other's have said, you know that drinking only masks reality, never eliminates it.

You've got to re-tune what you consider to be your options. Drinking only hurts you and keeps you in this self-defeating cycle.

Life is tough Strat, drinking doesn't help anything; not one good thing will come from putting that s**t into your body. But then again, you know all of this.

Be good to yourself today. Don't drink, we are here for you.

ScottFromWI

Perhaps if you get a chance to read this response when you sober up today you will see the denial and addiction leading your thoughts. I hope you can come back and join us before things get really bad for you again.

SoberLeigh

Strat,

Most of your posts (although deeply heartbreaking when you describe your past and some terrible events) are coherent, intelligent and thoughtful.

This post is evidence of just how quickly alcohol interferes with healthy thought patterns and just quickly alcoholism can set us back and take over.

Alcohol is not an option for us, Strat; it is our poison.

Opt for what will do you no harm.

dwtbd

You really want to twist your reality and get out of your head for a break? Or just find a suitable excuse to drink? As for ideas , as nuts as cider for a break, how about something seemingly ridiculous as googling a meetup of say a bunch of Sunday crocheters, or birdwatchers or slow ambling walkers out to spot copper gutters? You may have a latent talent for tea cozies, it may be a dumb idea, but better then your plan A or B, and you know it , yes ?

strategery

Strat-I agree with Trach with getting in activity of some sort when you have cravings. I have found that once I get activity in, I feel better in many ways and it is good for you. Picking up alcohol, never leads to anything good nor does it solve anything. I can relate to what you are saying. There are days I am tired too and worn down by certain things and want a break. However, I've come to the realization that the relief alcohol gives is temporary and that the temporary reprieve by alcohol isn't worth it since the cravings are bear to deal with.

I also agree with dwbtd. You need to start building a life that doesn't give you a chance to drink since you're doing other things that are important to you.

Also, have you thought that maybe this is a pattern with you? I noticed with your first post, you had just gotten 6 months.

sg1970

Sounds like that leans towards moderation, having a measured dose. Perhaps I'm reading too much into that. Regardless we all know what the consensus is on moderation.

thomas11

"dosage? this is not medication - this is poison. this wasn't some social experiment you have been conducting"

Pretty straight forward right there.

thomas11

Hey Strat, this isn't your first rodeo so I am not going to lecture you. But it appears that something external is what is triggering you (correct me if I'm wrong).
You said "And it is certainly better than other peoples BS all the time which is what has defined my life. I cannot handle the stress anymore."

Can you do something about this? Is it possible to eliminate it? somehow? For example, in a marriage if one spouse is causing the other to drink out of control, they get a divorce. And in an ideal situation, by eliminating the spouse that is driving you to drink, you quit drinking. Just a thought man, I hope you check in today.

Spacegoat

Hi guys. I was very optimistic about my plans for 'today', I forgot that laying in bed all day with a pounding head was the likely outcome. Yep, alcohol is definitely not a medicine that is true.

Why did I drink? It wasn't to 'party', the fact that the UFC was on was a bonus. Yes I have an interest but was fully expecting to be looking at the replay today instead of live here at crazy o'clock. As for music, I think I posted some- music has always been the main thing in my life so nothing new there.

I've been quite stressed recently and not sleeping much. The reasons are superflous to the fact somewhat as it is (once again) becoming a problem for me. I was exhausted. When I realised I wasn't going to be able get some rest over the weekend I decided that I needed to take something. Now as in the beginning when I started dealing with this (over half my life) alcohol was the only thing available for the task.

It's not an excuse- I walked for miles to get that drink in an agitated state and drank some the soonest moment I could (in a toilet). So, definitely no party here. Horrible cider too btw. Definitely I was going down the feeling self destructive & resentment route until Trachemy's asked me why I was drinking which made me think (and also feel like crap). But, I had one bottle down by then. I could have fell into a miserable sleep at that point but there was talk about the bout, the main card was about to come on and so I decided to stay up. I didn't get to sleep until 11 am today.

I definitely haven't fallen back in love with alcohol or anything, far from it. I hate it. Most of the time when I was a daily drinker I resented it, myself and the process of having to drink it. I don't know what else to say really. Day 1 again, ugh.

brynn

Glad your back, strat

Justincredible

Welcome back Strat,
In your corner man, you can do this. I'm certain you can pick up where you left off, and take this as a bump in the road of recovery.

Justin

Spacegoat

Thank you guys, definitely just a bump. I have appointments coming up soon which I have been desperately trying to hang in here for.

So I'm hoping I can commit myself fully to recovery then, all of it, with no stone unturned as alcoholism is the tip of the iceberg for me.

I am going to see if I can get them brought forward as they said last week they might but I said I would hang in here (out of politeness).

Some good points made in the thread that I skimmed over last night, I'm going to go through them tomorrow. Zzz time. Thank's to all

Lscotty1

Sorry to comment out of place, but this is very touching

sva777

Good luck with your next move Strat, I hope you have a good plan to move forward.

Dee74

.

I appreciate that you might see it as the tip of the iceberg or even a secondary problem Strat - I think it's more fundamental than that tho....

If I read this right your idea is to drink til you get an appointment?

Drinking's not a coping strategy because a) we're not actually engaging with the problem, and b) we have no control over it.

You may end up with problems that make your current problems look miniscule.

Repercussions from your drinking could make your home life even more untenable for you, and it could affect your custody case.

Drinking certainly won;t help you with any of those long held issues. It's like pouring gasoline on open flame.

D

Verte

Sorry to read that you are struggling, Stratman. Hang in there. Whatever hullabaloo is going on irl, how about you hang out here?

Excellent points made by Dee. Wow.

ts808

Glad to hear you're alright and wishing you the best.

chickippo

thanks for checking in.

Soberwolf

Spot on D