Tilly4Me

A check-in.

I've felt mentally strong but bodily quite yucky last few days.

Evenings are fine but in the mornings I would get anxious, a combination of work stress and detoxing (drink and pain pills last 3-4 months) ... and feeling alone. Then at nights restless, but slept well in the end-- yay. Thoughts of drinking came yesterday evening but there they were, just that. Decided I much preferred to love my body. I ate well (with zero appetite!) and started a new book instead: "Recover!" by Stanton Peele. Interesting bloke.

This morning I feel good, no butterflies in stomach or shakiness, which makes me realize just how stressed I am about my job. There were layoffs over a month ago and my workload went mad. Yesterday I remembered I could ask for help... Ha! It did help. I work from home which is great for my body but sometimes you can get more stressed, no one there to relieve pressure.

Pain management (due to injury and chronic pain this past year) without drugs is going OK so far. All hail the Epson Salt bath! And Ibuprofen . The other main thing that goes with this experience right now is isolation. I'm getting better but still physically limited. Tried to go to an AA meeting the other night and could only sit there for half hour by breathing through the pain. Not relating well to AA these days anyway -- that's been going on for years. Also 2 friends are moving away. Lots of change...

Anyway, glad this forum is here. Thanks for listening.

2muchpain

You definitely have a lot on your plate!! But you know that if you drink, all that will be there when you sober up, so what's the point, right? Really makes no sense when you think about it. Try to stay focused and things will continue to get better. Your doing great!! John

SoberLeigh

I agree with John - 100%.

You are doing great.

Remember, we are here 24/7, 365.

CaseyW

Congrats on day 4, Tilly4Me. It's easier to say than it is to do but try to remember a job is just a means to an end. Don't let it control your life. Put your recovery first and the rest of your life will follow. Wishing you the best today...

Tilly4Me

Absolutely John, and thanks for the encouragement. I'm in the process of trying to find a new therapist, so I think that should help too.

Soberwolf

I think your awe inspiring Tilly i remember the early days they were yucky as you put it

I promise it gets better with sober time great job on day 4

Tilly4Me

Looking forward to returning to long term sobriety. It's been an intense year and I am not too surprised I began drinking 4 months ago, even though it's a bit surreal. I notice it's not like getting sober the first time around though. I feel no shame or judgment, nor do I feel insanely lost and chaotic inside, as I did 10 years ago. It's more just... I want to find the best ways to love and care for this body and mind again.