Family drama, would like input
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 132
Family drama, would like input
Hi all! So I am 2 weeks past my unfortunate relapse after my dad's funeral. My AV has been a little stronger than I would like, but at least it is keeping me on my guard. No real temptation. I was at my in-laws over the weekend and I was content just trying to act pleasant even when it was probably the last place I wanted to be with everything going on.
Now, though, I've got a new issue to deal with. I have a brother who has been acting very strange the last few months. A little aggressive with his words and accusing people of doing / saying things that never happened. Not that his memory is the best, but there have been several incidents recently where he has been saying things that just never ever happened. It's freaking me out a little bit because he has been on pain meds for the last several years after a car accident and I'm wondering if that is part of it. He also drinks (I don't know how much, but I know it can be a lot when he wants to) which I'm sure doesn't help.
Anyways, he contacted my mom (not his mom, he's a half brother) last week about his inheritance. Problem is, there wasn't any. My dad didn't have life insurance, didn't have any money and my mom has been the primary provider for things like the house payments and such. My brother kept saying that our dad told him there was something to be left to him and there was life insurance and all sorts of stuff that I am relatively certain my dad did not say. He didn't talk much about finances with anyone and if he were going to it would have been with my mom or myself. Anyways, he got kind of mad upon hearing that our dad "lied" to him and now wants to take as much of his stuff as possible to sell.
I'm just worried because he has a really bad temper and although he's not typically a violent person (I know he had his share of fighting as a younger guy, but nothing in recent history) some of the stuff he has been saying has been so off the wall I worry what frame of mind he is in right now. Also, he's the oldest and feels he deserves one particular thing our dad owned that is actually worth a bit of money. My mom doesn't want him to have it as she thinks he will just sell it and we would rather see it stay in the family.
Anyway, do I have anything to worry about here? I don't know what being on constant pain killers can do to a person as that was never my DOC. I just hate having to deal with this so soon after my dad's passing, as if the whole thing hasn't been stressful enough, now I have a brother angry that he thinks our dad lied to him his whole life and he isn't going to get the one thing he seemed certain that he would.
With all this stress I will really need to keep an eye on myself. Thanks for any input anyone may have in this situation.
Now, though, I've got a new issue to deal with. I have a brother who has been acting very strange the last few months. A little aggressive with his words and accusing people of doing / saying things that never happened. Not that his memory is the best, but there have been several incidents recently where he has been saying things that just never ever happened. It's freaking me out a little bit because he has been on pain meds for the last several years after a car accident and I'm wondering if that is part of it. He also drinks (I don't know how much, but I know it can be a lot when he wants to) which I'm sure doesn't help.
Anyways, he contacted my mom (not his mom, he's a half brother) last week about his inheritance. Problem is, there wasn't any. My dad didn't have life insurance, didn't have any money and my mom has been the primary provider for things like the house payments and such. My brother kept saying that our dad told him there was something to be left to him and there was life insurance and all sorts of stuff that I am relatively certain my dad did not say. He didn't talk much about finances with anyone and if he were going to it would have been with my mom or myself. Anyways, he got kind of mad upon hearing that our dad "lied" to him and now wants to take as much of his stuff as possible to sell.
I'm just worried because he has a really bad temper and although he's not typically a violent person (I know he had his share of fighting as a younger guy, but nothing in recent history) some of the stuff he has been saying has been so off the wall I worry what frame of mind he is in right now. Also, he's the oldest and feels he deserves one particular thing our dad owned that is actually worth a bit of money. My mom doesn't want him to have it as she thinks he will just sell it and we would rather see it stay in the family.
Anyway, do I have anything to worry about here? I don't know what being on constant pain killers can do to a person as that was never my DOC. I just hate having to deal with this so soon after my dad's passing, as if the whole thing hasn't been stressful enough, now I have a brother angry that he thinks our dad lied to him his whole life and he isn't going to get the one thing he seemed certain that he would.
With all this stress I will really need to keep an eye on myself. Thanks for any input anyone may have in this situation.
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Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Is or has there been a pattern of drama in your family, or is it usually pretty low key? If there is a pattern of drama, I believe this could become a sticky wicket.
As far as pain meds go, I've been on a fair amount of them for about 6 weeks now, and my short term memory has taken a beating. I don't blame it all on the meds as this is a busy time of year for me. But, I can easily see a connection between pain meds, alcohol and memory issues. I hope this doesn't turn ugly. I wish you the very best KeeTruckin. Sorry about the passing of you father.
As far as pain meds go, I've been on a fair amount of them for about 6 weeks now, and my short term memory has taken a beating. I don't blame it all on the meds as this is a busy time of year for me. But, I can easily see a connection between pain meds, alcohol and memory issues. I hope this doesn't turn ugly. I wish you the very best KeeTruckin. Sorry about the passing of you father.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
I'm sorry what's going on with your brother. It must be sad to see him acting this way. I hope you are cautious when dealing with him. Is there any way that you could get him to talk to his dr?
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