Concerns about traveling and the desire to "try" to drink in moderation.
 

Dear Community, I've been sober for 2 years and 3 mos.
Lately I've had the desire to try and drink in moderation.
I was a binge drinker for one to two days a week.
Alcohol, winerys, and brewerys, are so "popular" and enticing all around and my husband and friends all go. I go as well to be the appointed DD and it's highly frustrating.
Any advice on how to be ok with this all around me.
Thank You in advanced
April

If the task is frustrating to you like you say.....why do you go? Surely you can find something's else to do. Why not pamper yourself at a day spa while they go on their jaunt. You'll feel fabulous after that.

If you had a problem with your alcohol consumption before, I would imagine you'll have a problem with your alcohol consumption if you try it again. Moderation never worked for me. Once I took that first drink, I never knew if I was going to have one more after that or fifteen more.

Have you asked your husband if you two can not plan your vacations around alcohol? You don't need booze to enjoy the Grand Canyon or a museum or countless other things.

Wishing you the best today and congrats on 2+ years! That's truly inspiring to me.

Hi and welcome aprilrocks :)

this is a good thread for folks thinking about moderation - I recommend you read it all :)
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html

If you're not happy going to these places and being DD I would say something.

It's not being selfish to ask that your husband and friends might do something non-alcoholic, at least sometimes :)

D

Hi,

I have made the moderation mistake many times, and vacations have often been a trigger. I do not have a lot of sober time, I am just curious about what suddenly made you think about moderation vs. sobriety. That might be beneficial to those of us starting out again to know what triggered these thoughts.

Glad you are here!

I am back at day 1 today because I thought I could do moderation. I did it for maybe 1 month or 2 months, and then all hell broke loose.

Congratulations on 2+ years, I only made it to 6 months before I convinced myself I could do moderation.

I feel way to scared to even think about having one drink, I'm early in my sober journey and it feels good but fragile at the same time. As Casey says, one drink could (probably would for me) lead to many more and then back where I've been for 30 years, struggling with a drink problem every day.
I admire 2 years plus sobriety, don't risk it is my advice.
Be well.

xx

Sobriety is about change. I had to recreate a life around activities that did not include alcohol. Going to wineries is something I would have no desire to do.

Moderation is the fantasy of every alcoholic which never has and never will be possible

It might be time for your husband and friends to arrange alternate transportation while you do things you'd enjoy instead of going to wineries and breweries.

I would do that for my Lady if she really wanted.... Once. Or perhaps once in a great while. But in general, I don't go to places that exist solely for the purpose of drinking. It's not fun for me, it's not useful to me and it doesn't support or honor my choice of sobriety.

Some things did have to change in my life when I chose sobriety. Honestly, I have not suffered one single bit by no longer going to breweries and wineries and hanging around with drunk people.

Hey DEE

Your link didn't post unless something is wrong on this end.

I am two years sober and I have thought about moderation. I just ask myself, "What is the point." One or two drinks won't change the way you feel, and drinking more will get me drunk. I am pretty sure I could just have a drink and quit, but what would be the point. It would not feel like anything more then a soft drink, and with a soft drink there is no danger. I guess the bottom line is, I am not going to risk what I have gained for a drink that will do nothing. Only non alcoholics can understand the joy of a drink. One drink, are you kidding? It will do nothing for me. Glad I choose to be sober. I love my sober life.

There are very few things in my life that I've failed at when I really tried but moderation is one of them.

Don't do it.
It doesn't work if you have ever had a serious problem with alcohol.

It will just take you into relapse sooner or later.

Don't kid yourself. Or in other words, don't allow yourself to be fooled. The desire to return to 'moderate drinking' is simply the desire to return to drinking. It is the Addictive Voice, nothing more than that. It is trying to present alcohol consumption as something it never can be for us. The insertion of the word 'moderation' into the temptation is a fraud.

But that's what the AV does, that is its nature, that is its definition. Once we recognize the source of the thought, it can be dismissed. Ahhh, it's YOU again! Phhhht. I decided to quit drinking for good and I meant it. Onward!

Two years sober time is some good work there. I think the key point in any sober journey is the fact that we want to move forward with our lives. Heading out to wineries or something similar isn't moving forward. And it sure isn't a comfortable scene I can attest to that. Consider where your going and what you want your future to be. Good luck.

Moderation is for amateurs. (i know....I'm being a smarta$$, but its true)

LOL once you're a pro you can never really go back eh?

There was a reason why you quit 2 years ago, and if like me a period of abstinence no matter how long doesn't cure me, if I drank now the outcome would be the same.

Alcohol only caused me misery in my life, letting it back into my life would simply open the floodgates once again!!

Hello:

Remember to always be vigilant about your AV. Use all the tools we have learned here and play the tape. Would it be worth it? Imagine how you will feel the day after? Not only physically but more importantly mentally. Imagine your looks. Remember the difference in how we look drinking vs. not...

Remember why you came here and go back and read all your posts.

The ball is in your court and you will decide. Please remember to stay objective when you are having your internal monologe and keep aware of sneaky AV.

We are with you, stay close.

This got a nice laugh from me because it is so true! People at wine tastings think they are so cool and classy and intellectual. It's such BS. All of it. The tasting, the talking.

I think I would rather chew on some glass then go to a wine tasting now that I'm sober.

Tell him you have no interest in going. I'm sure there are activities you do that aren't his thing.