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Concerns about traveling and the desire to "try" to drink in moderation.

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Concerns about traveling and the desire to "try" to drink in moderation.

Old 07-09-2015, 01:47 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I try and not vilify drinking as a whole . Nor would I describe anyone's drinking as problematic, that is for the individual to realize or decide, some people are fine with whatever drinking they do and have decided that even if they themselves consider their consumption at times to be abusive still feel little or no motivation to change their behavior.
But other people's' drinking can be problematic to Me, and then I have every right and proper motivation to Do something about it, or not.
I'd probably be fine going on a one off trip to a winery , go on a tour learn about the production process just for curiousity sake, even be fine with being the DD , knowing others can /will indulge. But no more than I would like to tour the Hersey factory, been there done that, right?
After one tour I'd mention perhaps the group should look into a car service, or suggest you'd be willing to tag along on a tee totaling tour, not sure how popular that would be
It's okay to say that going isn't something you want to do. But to risk a try at moderation ? Really?
Their activities are fueling your AV, I think, you can be proactive about it, if you want to stay quit. It may be uncomfortable from a social inclusion perspective, but why would anyone choose to be included at the risk of becoming addicted?
If the attempt at moderation is to please someone else, I would suggest first to try and convince someone else to be the DD and go and enjoy the camaraderie of the outing, it just doesn't sound like fun to me, I think my AV would like me think I am missing out, but I'm pretty sure I'm not, I just have boozy friends.
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Old 07-09-2015, 02:14 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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If I could drink in moderation that is how I would have been drinking all along. I wouldn't have needed to come here.

But, for me, 1 drink and it is on to the bitter end.

I hope you decide to make it 2 yrs and 4 months sober.
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Old 07-09-2015, 03:51 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by sg1970 View Post
Hey DEE

Your link didn't post unless something is wrong on this end.
fixed - thanks sg


just in case anyone wants to read it:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html

D
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Old 07-09-2015, 09:29 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Frustration. My husband drinks still and that was our thing. I feel like I'm missing out on something or over recting about my situation. I think.
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Old 07-09-2015, 09:45 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Thank You all. I'm feeling better due to your support didn't know what an AV was but it makes sense. I always feel like the sour grape of the bunch when I don't want to go but I need to stand strong and be proud of me and my sobriety.
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Old 07-09-2015, 09:46 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Can't you find a new 'thing' with your husband?

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Old 07-10-2015, 08:45 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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AV is described as the source of those thoughts that says stuff like
  • You don't need to quit drinking
  • You don't need to quit drinking now
  • Just a couple tonight, you can quit tomorrow
  • You can't quit drinking now, there is no way anyone could quit if they were you
  • If you do quit, you'll never stay quit
  • It is in your genes to drink.
  • You can't quit drinking *just like that*

I am sure you yourself can add to the list the things that point you at taking another drink.

It is a useful idea to explain our addictive behavior. If we can recognize it in a mindful aware way, we can put some space between the thought of drinking and the compulsion to act. It is in that second or two of mindful awareness that our rational self can put the brakes on and make that death defying act of choosing to stay sober. That is a way to make that choice permanent too.

You can do it, April. You deserve it.
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Old 07-10-2015, 10:06 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by aprilrocks26 View Post
Dear Community, I've been sober for 2 years and 3 mos.
Lately I've had the desire to try and drink in moderation.
I was a binge drinker for one to two days a week.
Alcohol, winerys, and brewerys, are so "popular" and enticing all around and my husband and friends all go. I go as well to be the appointed DD and it's highly frustrating.
Any advice on how to be ok with this all around me.
Thank You in advanced
April
April,
The only advice I can give you is from my experience. I was right at 2 years +or- a few weeks. We went on a wonderful vacation to Europe. I decided I was able to prove I could drink, once in a great while.
After the vacation, I decided I could drink moderately, then ok to get drunk with friends, then ok to get drunk at home, then start hiding how much I was actually drinking. Back to the hole I started in. I'm at day 5 now and it sucks. It could have been prevented... That AV is sneaky.
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Old 07-12-2015, 03:56 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by HitRockBottom70 View Post
April, The only advice I can give you is from my experience. I was right at 2 years +or- a few weeks. We went on a wonderful vacation to Europe. I decided I was able to prove I could drink, once in a great while. After the vacation, I decided I could drink moderately, then ok to get drunk with friends, then ok to get drunk at home, then start hiding how much I was actually drinking. Back to the hole I started in. I'm at day 5 now and it sucks. It could have been prevented... That AV is sneaky.
Yep.

Same story here, different particulars.

It's so easy to delude ourselves into a gradual return to misery.

Yet it's far easier to avoid... When we simply do not allow that first 'just one', we never wind up back down the hole.
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Old 07-12-2015, 05:50 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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What D said
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Old 07-12-2015, 06:04 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by HitRockBottom70 View Post
April,
The only advice I can give you is from my experience. I was right at 2 years +or- a few weeks. We went on a wonderful vacation to Europe. I decided I was able to prove I could drink, once in a great while.
After the vacation, I decided I could drink moderately, then ok to get drunk with friends, then ok to get drunk at home, then start hiding how much I was actually drinking. Back to the hole I started in. I'm at day 5 now and it sucks. It could have been prevented... That AV is sneaky.
Must read.........


We forget because we like to get drunk......
Truly, we have no interest in social drinking. That is just the gateway to ahhhhhhhhoz
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Old 07-16-2015, 09:54 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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This is very helpful thanks everyone
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