Robinz

3 more days until it is my 6 month mark. I still think about drinking ALL of the time. I have been in many situations where I could drink but I didn't.y husband brought beer in and It was in the refrigerator for a month and I didn't drink it. Today I was complaining to my husband that I am having a hard time with our real estate issues. We have some properties we need to sell. He says I sound like a baby. So in my mind I snapped. I was so mad. When I drank I rarely complained. I dealt with my problems by suppressing the feelings. I decided that I was going to be "tough" again. Me ? A baby? That is the opposite of how I have presented myself my whole life. Later, I confronted him and he apologized but I am sick of feeling all of these feelings all of the time.

doggonecarl

For some folks it takes longer than others. But it must be exhausting to always be thinking of drinking.

What are you doing for your recovery from alcoholism?

Robinz

I just don't drink
I try to get through each day by confronting my problems and being productive

doggonecarl

That's worked for almost 6 months, and that's wonderful. But if you are still being plagued by thoughts of drinking, you might need to add to your plan. You addiction seems determined to grind away at you.

Don't get me wrong. I drank for 35 years and I was still thinking about drinking at six months. Not all the time, but it pecked away at me. But by six months I was really starting to see the benefits of sobriety and determined I was never going to drink again. Those thoughts started to abate.

Helped me to visit SR several times a day to read and post and offer encouragement and gain support.

Robinz

I do like to read SR when I am feeling like I need to talk or if I feel upset
I need to start up an exercise program too
I just don't like FEELING everything all the time
Then thinking about the feelings and analyzing them or complaining. But I have to get through them somehow

least

Congrats on six months sober!

airwick

When I thought about replying to your thread, I was hesitant.

I understand your thinking about "drinking" all the time. I , in no way, want to discourage you I too think about it EVERYDAY. It is now just easier to think about. Does that make sens?

During the first 8 months (about) I was very tense, thinking too much. I was afraid I would ACT on those thoughts and therefore drink.

It is now 15 months, and I unfortunately still think about it, but in a more positive way. I think not of wanting to drink, but think more on the lines of how proud I am for not drinking.

I believe the thought of alcohol will always be somewhere in my mind , I control It today---it no longer controls me. Don't ever let your guard down though, it can easily creep back!

Take on day at a time. Tomorrow holds no guarantee for any of us

Dee74

Hi Robinz

I need to do more than just not drinking...I drank because I was unhappy - removing the booze left me with the unhappiness.

I decided I wanted to be the real me again - that took a lot of courage introspection and a little discomfort but it was worth it.

I had a little counselling to kick-start me off - is that an option for you at all?

D

Robinz

Hi airwick
Why were you hesitant to write?
Because you have thoughts of drinking still?
Congratulations on 15 months! That is really great. I appreciate your response
I se to be choosing the right path so far and I hope, like you, my life gets better and better.
So far the best thing about being sober is that I don't feel as much guilt in my life.

Soberpotamus

It can take some getting used to, that's for sure. When I quit drinking, it was tough the first several months because I was bombarded with all those feelings It's somewhat of a learning curve when you're newly sober (first year), as you grapple with repressed emotions and the past, deal with relationships, handle stress, and problem-solve. I saw a therapist for the few several months as I got my bearings. Have you considered that? It can help to have someone to discuss those things that linger and swirl around in your mind.

Robinz

Hi Dee
Thanks for taking the time to respond
Counseling is an option. Finding the right counselor can be tough though. I have had counselor int past and each one seemed to have their own issues they needed to deal with. Maybe I could look for one that counsels alcoholics.
I also take an antidepressant which keeps from going over the edge. I have been taking it for 15 years.

Gingerhead

Hi! I'm new to the forum. Been trying to do this on my own. That's not working...so I'm here to plug in, and stay hopeful.

Inchworm

Hi, robinz. I really get what you're saying. Most of the time I have to come full circle in order to hold on and love myself through the hard feelings. I used to think that there was something wrong with me when I had sadness or anger, or apathy, or.... I'm beginning to understand that the difficult emotions are a fact of life for us all.

2WheelsGood

Wow. How true! When I was young I used to revel in having all those feelings. I don't know if I was bipolar or what, but everything seemed kind of Kodachrome and visceral back then. Now many years of drinking later I've realized I didn't have much affect, unless I was drunk and then I was either a buddy or a raging jerk. Not pleasant to be around either way.

Now that I am starting to get sober (1 mo) a lot of those feelings are coming back but I'm having some trouble dealing with them. I feel young again with a sense of urgency in some ways, but also things are more raw than I expected them to be. I realize I have a lot of work ahead after sobriety.

This place has been a wellhead of knowledge and experience for me to draw on. I am so grateful for all of these great people being here.

MythOfSisyphus

You are tough enough, Robinz! I'm sorry you're still obsessing over the booze but give yourself a pat on the back for the six months. That's great.

PurpleKnight

6 Months is fantastic Robinz!!

thomas11

I think this is an underrated and often ignored reality for alcoholics.

Berrybean

We do sound like babies when we start complaining that the world isn't as perfect as we think it should be. That's because it's the childish alcoholic in us that makes those demands. It the alcoholic in us that makes us feel so much - and fools that we are, we think that if we FEEL something is so, then it is so. Guess what - our feeling are in cahoots with our alcoholic voices. They are NOT to be trusted.

If you don't like 'feeling everything all the time' and are fed up with trying to analyse your feelings, then there is hope. You can do that. It's going to take some hard work - but it's possible. x

airwick

[QUOTE=Robinz;5457859]Hi airwick
Why were you hesitant to write?
Because you have thoughts of drinking still?
Congratulations on 15 months! That is really great. I appreciate your response
I se to be choosing the right path so far and I hope, like you, my life gets better and better.
So far the b

I was hesitant on writing because did not want you to think you migh still be feeling this way after a year Did not want o send negative vibs

Soberwolf

Good advice in the thread i wish you luck with