SoberLeigh

Don't give up, Dennis You were given, today, a med which may make all the difference in the world. Hang on.

Dee74

You're leaps and bounds ahead of where you were at the start of the year and a million miles from when you first came back to Baltimore.

Needs a very subjective word. I try and give 100% every day - but my 100% changes - sometimes that's a lot and sometimes it's not very much at all. It is what it is. I can't solve the problems of the world.

I had to learn patience and I had to learn that sometimes things didn't happen on my timetable.

sometimes the biggest changes need to start as a ripple
Hang in there

D

AugustWest11

Thanx guys but seriously I'm done .. Only reason I'm sober & alive at this point is b\c my brothers are out of town.

As hard as I've tried & as much as I thought I wanted to live I just don't know any More. I am barely keeping my head afloat right now. If I had someone to sit w\ mom I'd probably be drunk or looking to score h.

Sorry to let you all down but my mind is caving in on itself & the pressure is killing me.

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

Gilmer

I am praying for you, Dennis.

JerryFish

What is it that makes it so difficult?

Dee74

I get you've had a lot of traumatic stuff happen recently but why are you 'done' Dennis?
I don't understand, man?

D

MythOfSisyphus

Your story isn't done, Dennis. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Despite the troubles you have now there is still hope for something better on the other side.

JerryFish

If it takes a month of misery in order for the rest of your life to be better, I'd do anything to get through that month. Put on your titanium will!

Also, when you're in the midst of the misery, a month can seem very long. Yet, when it's all over and in a couple of months later you look back, you recognize that sure, it was hard, but it's over now. And it wasn't as horrible as you thought at the beginning.

A month for a better life. Maybe it's a month of incredible stress. But it does pay off. And as an added bonus, these type of experiences do tend to make one more resilient. So that if in the future you encounter some adversity, you have toughened up and will be able to handle it better.

Go for it! Take that titanium will and a stubborn attitude of never wanting to give up and crush that month!

AugustWest11

I'm just fed up w\ the effort of waking up & breathing. I guess I'm just use to being drunk\wasted & instantly feeling "better" even if it is a myth its better than the pain I'm in ...

I got no problem trying the meds waiting a month; none at all but almost 24hrs later they still haven't even been phoned in ...

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

JerryFish

Personally I would gave phoned them myself already, explaining the urgency.

AugustWest11

I have, my insurance won't cover the prescription & I don't have 250 dollars to cover it. So left waiting for approval & made an appointment with my regular doctor as well for Monday cause this shrink seems BS to me.

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

Dee74

I can identify with that - took me a good 10 minutes to get up this morning. My backs not great at the moment...meh...it could be worse.

If you let that limit you tho, you're gone.

I wallowed long enough in self pity, drinking and drugging for decades. It never really took the pain or the sadness away.

Recovery did...after a lot of hard work

We just gotta keep on, Dennis.

D

AugustWest11

I'm working on it ... The shrink screwed my vibes up big time .. For some unknown reason she prescribed meds that cost way to much & others that have panic attacks 1 in 500 people, I don't like them odds ...

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

Dee74

I think you're future tripping here.

Explain your concerns to her, Dennis....see what you too can work out.

D

AugustWest11

My vibes are never wrong But seriously I already have an appointment w\ her again in 2 weeks so its not that I'm not trying .. The kick back from her pharmaceutical company must be huge LoL ...

Thanx though I'm trying. Just allot of pressure on me with the brother's out of town & me "in charge" LoL

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

MythOfSisyphus

Do what you can, Dennis. I know it's not easy but you've already come so far.

JerryFish

If the shrink doesn't feel right to you, it is smart to go to someone else. That was a good choice.

Regarding the costs, have you considered how much you would spend if you were to relapse? And that money would lead to you getting worse, not better, like the meds would.

JerryFish

This will pass and things will be alright. And this sounds like a great life-lesson to me, being in charge and learning how to do that. And of course that can be stressful. But you can see it as a sign that you're learning and growing. After you've gone through this, you'll have learned a lot.

AugustWest11

Well w\ funeral, burial, & living expenses $250 is impossible. Honestly it is cheaper to make a phone call & grab some xannies to make it to her appointment.

That is just a last resort. Relapse will never happen. I can't go back to being a lush. This weekend or anytime.

I'd lose all the respect I have gained by being sober. My younger brother was gonna cancel his trip just out of fear for me & mom alone. But I pushed him on cause I know he needs his grieving process too.

Our family, not just me, has been through allot these too years. I use the term Me, but it's my way of holding back family info.

Speaking of info, I would really appreciate a message from Dee or any admin on a situation I have.

Dennis

My name is August West, and I love my Pearly Baker best more than my wine.
More than my wine - more than my maker, though he's no friend of mine.

Dee74

Send me a PM anytime Dennis.

D