Goodman9

pretty sure my gf is cheating on me with someone she met in AA..its not fair that i put up with all the crap of drunkeness only to be crapped on in her sobriety and actually im not guessing i know.. ive read the texts.

chicory

I am sorry Goodman. that truly stinks, I agree.

I Hope that you can find your way past the pain of it, and give yourself a good life, with someone you can trust. You can't change a person, and they don't usually change their character.

hang in there... we have been there too.
chicory

BlissWithin

Man... this is terrible.

I suggest you to read or post in the Friends and Family of Alcoholics Forum. They may have a solution for this.

Dee74

I'm sorry too Goodman.
Can you really see a future with her if she's cheating?

D

Anna

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this.

We have lots of support to offer.

Hope2014

Take that pain and turn it into strength. Focus on bettering yourself and being happy. You're worth more than you are getting,.
People can only treat you the way that you let them.

Wholesome

If I were in your shoes I'd put them on and walk.

chloebaby

Yup I would leave. I have cheated during my blackouts but don't remember but however being sober I would never ever cheat. He stood by me no matter what.

Boxer

I totally agree with Zen.

FeelingGreat

Hi Goodman, this seems to happen a lot with recovering spouses. You can't control her but you can control your reaction. Think about what you want to do.

tomsteve

Glad to meet ya,goodman. I wasn't feeling very good when I discovered, quite some time ago, a woman who said she loved me deeply, in bed with a friend of mine. I removed em both from my life.
Yup, it hurt, but I got through it.
One thing I hope ya don't do is get a resentment towards AA. There can be some sick people people in AA still practicing old behaviors.

I second BlissWithin's suggestion of visiting the F&F forum here.

PurpleKnight

Sorry to hear your having to deal with that Goodman!!

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR; I am sorry for what brings you here.

thomas11

Change the locks. Focus on your sobriety.

greens

You deserve better
glad you got to post here and get it off your chest. It's difficult being in those situations

Goodman9

you know i could undertsand it (almost) if i was out drinking or treating her badly..but all i ever did was give her unconditional love and support, picked up all the pieces ,, took care of the house and the shopping and the bills ,,supported her in her move to aa programs.. and whats my reward? not that i was looking for one but all i was hoping for was a chance to live a normal life with someone i loved.. i was willing to put up with all the rest because i thought the end result would be everyone sober and happy.. she tells me that shes concentrating on making herself happy,, so let me guess this straight.. her drinking was all about her.. now her recovery is all about her..so every one else just gets crapped on?..

JamesAdams

Sounds like bullspit to me. Concentrating on making herself happy by sleeping with somebody she met in AA? While you provide a home for her? Seriously?

I would dump all her stuff on the front lawn, change the locks and send her a text telling her to come get her crap. Plenty of good women out there complaining they can't find a good man, just need to find yours.