HeartsAfire

Here's your cheer:

silentrun

Right with ya Verte.

Hevyn

Love you Verte. I've been through it too. Those thoughts will fade into nothingness where they belong. The person who created those bad memories is long gone. Our Verte is strong and classy.

Verte

Thanks again SR friends. Your words were read and re-read.

This was a total and complete shocker. When I envisioned traveling to the stomping ground of my 20s, alcohol did not enter my mind once...until I got off the phone and was in the thick of the city. Then with each passing building, billboard, street...it kind of hit hard. All the good and the bad. I just do not do things that way any longer. Just a moment.

Bimini, I love this as well. Thanks, so true:

It is in the moment between a reaction and a drink that recovery happens.

Thanks for having the Batmobile fired up! Night all!

Verte

Hey PK, where is that Baaah-Baaah Orange Sheep tea cozy of yours? It's time to put the kettle on and get a little crazy!

Thanks again for your sweet words and cheers, fine friends. Thanks. You all elevate. I plan to be in place to pay it forward.

Ruby2

Thongs could be worse. Hugs Verte! I can only imagine how hard it is. I've not been back to my old stomping grounds.

Buck up or I'll give you a wedgie

happyandfree

Memories are just that..you are in a new chapter of your life now. A fine new chapter...making new, sober memories. But I think it's great that you acknowledged how you feel. Bravo to you.

Verte

Yeah, thongs are going to be just fine. Ruby, yes you! Don't you dare touch my thongs. Thanks for the hugs.

Happyandfree, the thing is that there was a type of body memory and memory-memory and I had a moment of fear that I would run into a bunch of old drinking buddies, as there was no shortage. The big BUT goes to what Dee wrote, "the past is a foreign country...they do things differently there." I am just not there any longer. And fortunately I was not there alone today! I really needed the bolster-boost-sober-friendship-reminders. Thanks.

Like many, I have had a love-hate relationship with alcohol. Hard work and booze allowed me to feed myself and pay for my college education and then some. There was quite a bit of collateral along with that along the way. Journalling about this is a great idea, Anna.

Strong and classy am I! Thanks Hevyn. Loving my sober biceps.

Dee74

We're here every step of the way Verte.

I've came back to my old stomping grounds too, and re-met a few old playmates.

Time has moved on and so have I - even if they haven't

D

Berrybean

Well done for working past it.

I know what you mean about memories. I finally dealt with mine with my Steps work (still got amends to make though, but even after step 4 & 5 they lost a lot of their power to control my mind and emotions).

I also, personally, realised that the past I HAD and the past that I REMEMBER had (over time, with constant replaying with ever so slight adjustments each time to ensure that I was centre stage in each scenario - usually either as hero or tragic victim) become quite disjointed. Realising that did help me as well, although it was pretty hard to admit.

Hope today finds you more ''in the day"

nmd

Glad you checked in Verte. It's good to be strong, but better to be cautious. ((Hugs))

nmd

Did you bring you refrigerator with you with all the sr print outs?

Verte

You know, the truth is, while I was rolling into the city I was on the phone troubleshooting some important situations in my life. Real-life scenarios requiring real-life consideration. When I hung up and looked around me, I realized that I could have one drink and disappear into an extensive network of the past. Just like that.

This rightfully freaked me out. And I am going to have to sleep on it. That drink puts the fear in me like nothing else.

Whoa. Glad I can be honest. It will get me where I need to go. I really believe that.

No, NMD. I think I need to put my SR fridge works back in full view.

Dee74

everyone one of us could - but there is a peace of mind knowing that you won't

Hope tomorrow is better for you Verte

D

nmd

We should make a sticky post: Verte's fridge

Yeah those thoughts can sneak up in a second. Glad you are being honest with yourself about it and came here. Sleep well

Carlotta

I just saw your post and here is a big hug for you. Hang in there and remember: those are just thoughts and they will eventually go away.

Verte

Hey all, just checking in as I have a signal on the road. Yeah, today is a new day and it is all good. I thought about yesterday a little and am glad O was able to write in and garner strength from each and every response.

Is it hubris to think that the farther I get from day 1 the less support I might require? Like others, I did not want to freak out newcomers with a bat signal. Beccybean once wrote about 'washing machine brain' and yesterday was classic spin cycle.

Have I thanked you all yet for being here? We work!! Bimini - I've been admiring all the beauty around. Lots of beautiful rolling fields of 'knee high by the 4th of July' corn among other beauts. Did you pick out some new plants.

Hope you are all enjoying your day. Thanks all. Bear hugs back at ya.

Dee74

I try not to deal in too many absolutes anymore

There are still times I need support, if not exactly for drinking these days, the kinds of things that used to lead me to drinking.

D

lunar

Just saw this, Verte.
Always here for ya',
despite my lunar lurkings.
Sending moonbeams of positive
energy to you. May you bask in
their glow, triumphantly.

Venecia

Hey, Verte --

Sounds like life feels better today.

I think you set a good example for newcomers. Putting out the call for help -- and showing how SR stands with its own in thick and thin -- shows the power we have together.

V.