Lonliness/Gay/Alcoholic
 

I am an alcoholic and have known for around 5 years now. I went to rehab in 2011 and stayed sober 1 year before meeting new friends that were not alcoholics and began to think I could just drink a little. Here I am 31 and 3 years later and I can't go longer than a week without drinking. I was doing so well last week until I met a guy online and he seemed awesome. Seeing that I am constantly lonely and being in a small town and being a gay man with no license I jumped on the chance to meet and hangout with him. Thought about not drinking the whole way to the restaurant but when I got there I had ordered a beer before I realized how dumb it was. Ultimatly I drank 2 beers there, went to a firework show where he had beer in a cooler and I drank with him. I ended up going home with him and getting totally waisted and peeing in his bed. I was mortified when I woke and still am. I didn't mention it to him before we parted ways but got the feeling he was never going to ask me out again. I have text him a 'i'm sorry'but no reply. So my delimma is that I get so lonely that it makes it very hard to say no to any kind of invite out. I want to get sober and stay sober. My small town only has 3 meetings a week with only straight older men in them. How am I suppose to connect or confide in that sort of atmosphere? No license and no sponsor either. My roommate is not an alcoholic but she is very easy pushed over by me. Please help with any kind of advice.

Is there a legal reason why you don't have a driver's license? The lack of a license and a vehicle seems to be impeding you in a number of ways. If a license isn't possible, would you consider a move to a larger city where a license isn't needed? Being stuck in a small town with nothing to do, very few meetings and nowhere to go isn't a good thing.

I'm usually not supportive of geographical moves as a solution for sobriety, but in your case, it might be needed.

2nd dui, no license for a year. & I would love a move for more opportunitys but that takes money & knowing people. Kinda stuck at least for now.

Welcome to SR Free. You're among friends who care.

I'm so sorry you're feeling hopeless. It sounds like you're ready to get free. Talking things over here will help you feel less anxious. You're never alone.

I know you mentioned once there are 2 AA meetings a week in your town - are you going the AA route Free2B84?

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I'm sorry for your circumstances but glad you're back here talking about it. :hug: We are always here so don't hesitate to post when you need to. :)

I have went the AA route before and yes I want to again. Its just that the 3 meetings a week here are made up of 8 to 10 people and 90% are older straight country men. No-one who I could relate or confide in.

Welcome!

Many of our members find lots of support here. You can post and read here any time of the day or night and this forum, in particular, is very active so you will always get replies.

Hi Free welcome to the forum. Many people use this place as their sole support for getting sober, myself included. There's no reason why you can't too. It even has a section for LGBT but like Anna said this is the most active section.

Best of luck to you! Hope you stick around with us :)

Hmmm, gay and in a small town in Kentucky, I can understand your dilemma. I don't know much about AA, but I believe even yourself and the older straight men have something in common, issues with alcohol. Maybe try and get on the same page with them regarding problems with alcohol. Your social life doesn't necessarily have to be a part of it, does it? (I'm asking because I honestly don't know). Best of luck to you.

Well, it appears you will have to make use of whatever resources you have available. I believe there are AA meetings online, and other groups like SMART Recovery, LifeRing and SOS have meetings online. And of course, you have this site.

Personally, I had to 1) really commit to staying sober and 2) use whatever resources where available. You may live in a small town that's lacking f2f support, but there is an abundance of resources available online. But you have to take action and use the resources.

At the end of the day were all additcs Gay or straight. I can relate to the ladies in the rooms eventhough were different sexes we have the same thought processes.
addict/alcoholic behavior is addict alcoholic behavior.

i have friends in recovery that are gay great people. i try to see less of the differences between us and more of the similarities.

Well u have here to talk to people pain shared is pain lessened. maybe are there fb groups? What about NA?

Have you tried Uber to get around?

SR has on line meetings Tues and Friday. 8 central 9 eastern. They helped me get sober and stay that way for over 2 years now.

It might be worth calling the number for your closest Gay AA group and explain the situation. Chances are that others are driving some distance to access it and someone would be able to give you a lift. Even if that was only every so often, at least you could get some numbers to call, and it could supplement your local meeting rather than replace them.

I can somewhat relate (gay and loneliness), but for me it's somewhat the other way around. After two long-term relationships, I'm done for now at least, with no desire to hook up with someone else. So instead I drown the loneliness in alcohol while working and saving money. Not ideal, but hey, at least my heart stays out of the meat grinder, right?

Anyway, sorry to hear of your troubles. Gay, 31, small town Kentucky. Yeah, I could see how that could be a problem. On the plus side, there's loads of resources available online, and we're always around if you need an ear. We're a pretty open minded, non-judgemental group. :)

No uber in my area lol, too rural. I would luv to join an online meeting.

Check out Sugarbears link for one gay AA online group http://gal-aa.org/ :)
There's some more here:

Online Intergroup : Alcoholics Anonymous

Thank u for the link but I knew and it showed meetings closest to me were over 90 miles away. But thank u