Wastinglife

I've been through too many Day 1's to count. It was always my fear of day 1 up to day 3 or 4 that kept me drinking. It's horrible. I was particularly susceptible to anxiety attacks and insomnia whenever I tried to quit.

I locked myself in my condo and didn't leave for a few days; knowing that I was vulnerable to temptation if I were to pass the liquor store or the pub down the street. I parked myself on the sofa and binge-watched DVD box sets for hours on end to distract myself.

I took a Friday off work and by Monday morning I was feeling much better. I've been medically detoxed in the past so I know to monitor for possible withdrawal symptoms.

That's my experience. We've all been there so feel free to check in

Fly N Buy

Glad you're here with us Wildflower, welcome!!

Powerful stuff.........I felt many of the same emotions when I quit a year ago. Don't ever forget that feeling it will get you through some tough spots.

As time goes by, the pain of these feeling will dissipate and the sun will come into your being more and more. You'll find a way to make some amends for the actions we took when drinking.

We make living amends by not drinking today. That's a great first step!!!!

Thank you for the thread

wildflower70

Hello everyone!

Well, it is day 2 , I am feeling much more alive and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so happy to have found this site, I can feel the tremendous amount of support and help here. I am going to break the chains that have bound me for so many years. Goodbye old friend, alcohol you are now the enemy!!
Last year I was able to quit for 8 months, I am looking forward to feeling that strong again!

wildflower70

I am so ashamed that I went binge drinking again....How do I feel stronger and move past the embarrassment of my drunk behavior???

Dee74

Welcome back wildflower

to be honest the only way I really got past the shame and embarrassment was to not do that things that bought me shame and embarrassment again.

The more days I stayed sober, and the more days I did good things for myself and my neighbours, the less I thought about yesterday and the shame of my past.

I live my life like a kind of living amends I guess. I'm determined that this is the way I live now.

I put a lot of effort into not drinking but it really was, and is, worth it

A good plan is pretty much imperative. Have you given much thought to how you might stay sober, wildflower?

D

wildflower70

I plan to fight this demon harder and stronger this time. I have been binge drinking again every week, and convincing myself that it is OK...Why is this so hard to beat? Why do I love this demon? Why do I repeat the same mistakes?

Why???????

Dee74

to be honest those were questions I tackled better with a little sober time behind me, wildflower.

My first 30 days were devoted solely to 'do not drink' and whatever other positive healthy steps it took to manage that.

D

Done_With_It

I had to do busy and change my old habits. Lots of walks and self exploring. When I found and planned things to do when I wanted a line, one day turned into another and another, until it was the furthest thing from my mind. You can do it, don't give up on yourself.

wildflower70

The worst part about this weekends binge is that I showed my worst side to a new man in my life. I never wanted him to see me that way, and I'm afraid I may have blown it.......He say's all is ok, but I wouldn't want to date that person (me on booze)!!!!

I hope I get a second chance, to show him who I can be...sober

wildflower70

I woke up today and realized that the first step to my recovery has to be self love and respect! Every time I allow my guilt and shame overcome me, I want to drink to hide the pain.
Today I will forgive myself for past mistakes and love myself for having the courage to find a new way of living!

Give yourself a big hug today

Hevyn

I agree - remorse & regret led me back to drinking every time, even though it just added to my anxiety. Once I realized I was sabotaging myself, I was able to move forward. You're sounding good, wildflower.

JD

Thanks wildflower. I needed your post today. I didn't realize I was feeling shame today until I read your post. I was also thinking wouldn't it be good if I could just have a few beers, that would make me feel better. I think I'll love myself instead.

casey27

wildflower70

Oh my God...I am back to day 1 again. I am coming off of a 7 day binge drinking fest. I tried to stop yesterday, and only made it to 2 pm...and the binge continued. Please tell me how to make it today....every detox I have gone through is getting worse.

I am so ashamed to be in this sinking boat...again.

doggonecarl

See your doctor, get something for the withdrawals. Then get help, be it inpatient rehab, outpatient, AA, something. Doing it on your own doesn't seem to be working.

You have to really want to quit, and you have to be willing to do what it takes.

wildflower70

I do want to stop! The ONLY thing that sends me back to the wine jug....are the extreme physical and mental withdrawal symptoms. I am determined to suffer through this day....what are the signs that medical help is needed?

Thank you for any suggestions..

Soberwolf

Stick with us regular check ins esp when you get urges or cravings

cwood3

Always comes back to the above which equals : DESIRE & WILLINGNESS

Doesn't this answer your question?

wildflower70

I am so ready to stay sober today....and everyday for the rest of my life. Goodbye to the demon, goodbye to the poison in a pretty bottle.

Hello to health,, happiness, and forgiveness.

Thank you all for being here, for support and sharing.

wehav2day

Wildflower, if you are done, you can do this.

Don't drink today or tonight. That's all you need to do to day.

Tomorrow, do that again.

It's not easy but it is simple. Take drinking off the table.

Dee mentioned last year that the first 30 days are really just about that. It's very true. No need to figure out the whys or when's or where's of your drinking. That can come with time and a recovery program.

All you need to do right now is not drink. If that gets hard in an hour, look at the clock and tell yourself you won't drink right now. You might have to do that every five minutes, that's ok.

It gets easier. Much easier. But every time you drink you have to start over. And usually it's harder than yesterday. No time like the present!