tuitui

The last week of my life has been terrifying and difficult, but not in an alcohol-related way (I've been sober for a few weeks now, yay I guess). I've been googling but a lot of the things I turn up are more like for victims of violent crime, war veterans, people who've been through some really terrible stuff. I'm just a recovering alcoholic with some pretty poor coping skills who went through a very scary, but definitely not-going-to-die, situation. Just wondering if there's anyone who maybe knows of another community that might be appropriate for that kind of thing. Would love to get advice from others who've been through similar.

Dee74

Hi tuitui

maybe we could help you a little more if you gave a little more explanation of the very scary situation you're talking about?

D

tuitui

It's hard to summarize concisely. But I guess the fastest way to explain it is that out of state family thought I was in a domestic violence situation. I wasn't, just going through a bad break up and asked the just-right-now-ex to call in sick for me so I could go cry a bit and not sound crazy on the phone to my boss. But wires got crossed, my work didn't know who this guy was, they called my emergency contact, my parents thought I'd been broken up with him for weeks and got scared that he was lying or had done something to me. Police broke into my home, they took me to a really scary psych ward. I was able to talk to someone and explain what happened so they let me go, but by then my family was already on a plane to see me, I was kind of a babbling mess after a full day in a room with screaming people, I've lost my job because it was very new and obviously a bizarre experience from their end as well. I'm now back with the family and it's been both the strongest outpouring of love but also no time alone to process anything, because everyone is worried about me. I'm trying to cope with losing everything but also being contacted by all of these people I love, family and friends, who are great but.... knowing that someone you haven't seen in two months knows "heard you might not be back" and just the ramifications of everything that's happened.... and talking to professionals but you know, I said the wrong thing to the police (just a stupid sarcastic remark like "how could you ask me that") and now I'm here, so I'm a little afraid of talking to people... with no job and no idea what's going to happen next... I don't know, I guess I thought maybe people here might have had similar experiences? I'm trying to cope with the fact that I probably have to change everything about my life based on the last few days, but I'm also trying to do that while being never left alone because people are afraid for me. It's really hard to convince people you're ok when you're having a heart attack under a microscope. And I'm less than a month sober. It's been pretty insane.

PurpleKnight

Sorry to hear what you had to go through Tuitui!!

Where are you based for some helplines? also SR here is a great place for support to help you through!!

Dee74

I think a lot of us have had the experience of having lies and half truths go wrong and ending up in some really bad situations, so I know you'll find understanding and support here..

I think that's part of the addiction experience for a lot of us.

I understand your fear and mistrust but I think talking to a counsellor could really help you make sense of all of that tuitui - and might be able to help with your anxiety too?

I'm glad you have a supportive family, even if they seem a little overprotective right now.

D

Anna

It's good to have a supportive and caring family, but I truly understand the need for some peace and quiet at times to be able to process things and make decisions. The decision to ask someone else to call in sick (and lie) for you backfired in a big way and now you're left picking up the pieces. I hope you can take a few deep breaths and begin to move forward.

It does sound like talking to a counsellor will be helpful. Hang on to your sobriety because that will help you get through this more than anything else.

greens

"My ptsd"
Is a forum I go to a little bit ( it can be overwhelming staying too long)
But a lot of it has to do with childhood trauma and stuff lik that
they have different threads for different things
they have a whole part that's dedicated to substance abuse and trauma

tuitui

Thank you everyone. I'm feeling better a bit... less totally freaked out, more just OK, now what do I do. I think I'll feel better talking to a counsellor now than when I first posted this.

The lie was a terrible mistake. I can't believe I did this to myself.

I'm also going to see a doctor to figure out what kind of physical damage has been done by the drinking, and hopefully get on some antidepressants as well.

I've started coming to terms with the fact that this isn't just something that happened to me out of the blue... I needed the help. I needed an intervention. I was losing it over the end of my relationship. Like a lot of alcoholics, I just didn't know what to do with all the pain without drinking. If my parents hadn't intervened, I'd probably be drunk right now (and still fired and single).