Just having a few isn't a big deal.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 444
Thomas (Jeff?)
Fellow business owner to fellow business owner, lover of drink to lover of drink.... I enjoy your posts and find some kinship in your experience and your views. I too have been tormented today by the desire to be "one of the free" out there at the BBQ's. My employees are construction/landscape construction guys and they are hitting it hard today. I would have been with them last year. It does tick me off that I had to say good-bye to that life and I do feel like a leper around friends these days but...it's my reality and it is such a gift that I have I have given myself.
I won't be drinking today or anytime in the future. Join me!
Hang in there.
d
Fellow business owner to fellow business owner, lover of drink to lover of drink.... I enjoy your posts and find some kinship in your experience and your views. I too have been tormented today by the desire to be "one of the free" out there at the BBQ's. My employees are construction/landscape construction guys and they are hitting it hard today. I would have been with them last year. It does tick me off that I had to say good-bye to that life and I do feel like a leper around friends these days but...it's my reality and it is such a gift that I have I have given myself.
I won't be drinking today or anytime in the future. Join me!
Hang in there.
d
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Venecia, regarding my wife...you are correct. I pushed it to the limit and damn near lost her, but it was 3 years ago now (I think). I have not forgotten.
If I had to rank the top 2 things that keep me sober (and I don't consider myself in sobriety, its way too early) they would be my wife and the fear of going through the withdrawals I experienced.
If I had to rank the top 2 things that keep me sober (and I don't consider myself in sobriety, its way too early) they would be my wife and the fear of going through the withdrawals I experienced.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I'm with you DonTolan, if we are able to remain sober, we are a rare breed among the men in our trade. I am also construction/landscape. Primarily landscape, and yes, my guys are in full swing right now while their boss is sitting at his computer on a alcohol support website. Oh well. Lastly, my real name is Jeff.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by thomas11 
Yeah, its a bunch of crap and we both know it. I'm still not 100% clear on this AV thing (its an AA term correct?) I guess I call them urges or impulses. I still haven't gone back to read my posts. I need to. Maybe tonight.
If you haven't read your posts from when your wife was out of town you really need to. That is the person you will be if you decide to drink again. This would be a good place to start and tonight would be a great time to do it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...yep-drunk.html
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,054
Hey Jeff-
We joined this site around the same time, I believe. I'm from a small Midwest town; I understand very much heading up to the bar because 'every one will be there'. That's the first stop when I go back to visit my hometown. Things will be very different on my next trip; that stop is not on the itinerary.
Like a lot of members on this site, I too remember your posts from early on. We mention them because, you are not the same person sitting here typing today. You have sobriety to thank for that.
I'm at our cottage for the weekend with my family. On the water, fireworks, and all of the rest that goes along with it. I'm staying sober....and it's a pretty freaking awesome weekend at that.
While I was in the store today buying groceries, I noticed a lot of the marketing and advertising. Essentially it read to me as: 4th of July + Booze= Fun. Water+ Booze= Relaxation.
No where was there a poster with a guy or gal curled up on a bathroom floor with the quotation, "Please God, if you let me live through this, I promise to never drink again!".
If you or I go out to the bar for just 1 or 2, I'll bet we could easily be the poster child in that ad tonight.
Don't drink tonight, friend. We're all in the same boat- let's stay sober.
We joined this site around the same time, I believe. I'm from a small Midwest town; I understand very much heading up to the bar because 'every one will be there'. That's the first stop when I go back to visit my hometown. Things will be very different on my next trip; that stop is not on the itinerary.
Like a lot of members on this site, I too remember your posts from early on. We mention them because, you are not the same person sitting here typing today. You have sobriety to thank for that.
I'm at our cottage for the weekend with my family. On the water, fireworks, and all of the rest that goes along with it. I'm staying sober....and it's a pretty freaking awesome weekend at that.
While I was in the store today buying groceries, I noticed a lot of the marketing and advertising. Essentially it read to me as: 4th of July + Booze= Fun. Water+ Booze= Relaxation.
No where was there a poster with a guy or gal curled up on a bathroom floor with the quotation, "Please God, if you let me live through this, I promise to never drink again!".
If you or I go out to the bar for just 1 or 2, I'll bet we could easily be the poster child in that ad tonight.
Don't drink tonight, friend. We're all in the same boat- let's stay sober.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
To date, it doesn't seem as though your commenting about your wanting to drink, even putting a plan in place to do so, has served you well. You've done this on more than one occasion, and though it hasn't always ended in disaster, it has ended in you relapsing. There essentially seems to be no redeeming qualities in your commenting on a relapse in advance, planned or unplanned. "Only being honest" about it is not enough.
You now have an opportunity to break this pattern by not drinking, no matter how much you convince yourself that you're missing out on "fun," and how unhappy you are because you're presently not drinking. Don't blow your sobriety on a pipe dream.
Being a "big boy" means making big-boy decisions. How much will your being a "big boy" mean to you if you were to indulge your destructive fantasy to drink with your buddies?
You now have an opportunity to break this pattern by not drinking, no matter how much you convince yourself that you're missing out on "fun," and how unhappy you are because you're presently not drinking. Don't blow your sobriety on a pipe dream.
Being a "big boy" means making big-boy decisions. How much will your being a "big boy" mean to you if you were to indulge your destructive fantasy to drink with your buddies?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
AV means "addictive voice" to those using AVRT, but it's also used generally to describe the voice inside your head that tries to keep you drinking, even when you know it's not the right thing to do.
If you haven't read your posts from when your wife was out of town you really need to. That is the person you will be if you decide to drink again. This would be a good place to start and tonight would be a great time to do it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...yep-drunk.html
If you haven't read your posts from when your wife was out of town you really need to. That is the person you will be if you decide to drink again. This would be a good place to start and tonight would be a great time to do it.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...yep-drunk.html
1. Depressing
2. Embarrassing
3. Educational
4. Regrettable
5. Shameful
6. Arrogant
7. Disrespectful
8. Necessary (meaning I needed to read that)
I could write plenty upon my reflection of that thread. But suffice it to say I was not a very likable person, and masking my misery in alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Thomas, I'm proud of you for coming to SR and telling on your disease! That's an awesome step. Keep up the great work.
And P.S. if you haven't done it already, write out every detail of your last drunk from start to finish and/or write out the "truth" about what would really happen if you drink this weekend. Quiet that AV. It's whispering lies into your ear again.
And P.S. if you haven't done it already, write out every detail of your last drunk from start to finish and/or write out the "truth" about what would really happen if you drink this weekend. Quiet that AV. It's whispering lies into your ear again.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Just got in from working all evening and seeing this thread title had me very worried. We've had a couple of decent talks in here over the last few weeks, thomas11, and like I said to you before, I think sobriety suits you well. I've gotten to where I look forward to seeing that you've posted because you're a smart guy who has some compassion but also hasn't been throwing a lot of BS around over the last few weeks. You tell it like it is without being mean about it. I like that.
Glad to read all the way through this and see that you made the decision to not take that first drink today. Hope you'll stick to your plan and stay close to here tomorrow as well. You're on the right path. Keep on keeping on, my friend.
Glad to read all the way through this and see that you made the decision to not take that first drink today. Hope you'll stick to your plan and stay close to here tomorrow as well. You're on the right path. Keep on keeping on, my friend.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I have a new found respect for the SR family after reviewing the thread Scott linked. I can't believe you guys stuck with me. I was quite the a$$h*le. Not sure I could have stuck with it.
It's frightening to me that I was well into a drinking session at what...like 9:45AM? So basically there was no ending to the first session. Abhorrent behavior is what I would call it. What I keep thinking right now to myself is "damn, what a d**k.
It's frightening to me that I was well into a drinking session at what...like 9:45AM? So basically there was no ending to the first session. Abhorrent behavior is what I would call it. What I keep thinking right now to myself is "damn, what a d**k.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Don't beat yourself up over that thread (and there are others as well though I'm sure you're already aware of that). We stuck with you because probably almost every single one of us has gotten drunk and acted the exact same way more than once in our own drinking lives. I just did mine in person and not on an internet message board.
You've proven over these last four or five weeks that was your addiction in those threads and that you're a better man than that one who posted here drunk and belligerent. Stay on this path, give sobriety a REAL chance in your life. We're here for you, you've been here for us over the last few weeks as well. We've all got a cool thing going here--stay a part of it.
You've proven over these last four or five weeks that was your addiction in those threads and that you're a better man than that one who posted here drunk and belligerent. Stay on this path, give sobriety a REAL chance in your life. We're here for you, you've been here for us over the last few weeks as well. We've all got a cool thing going here--stay a part of it.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,668
Hi thomas, you can always us the scenario, 'play it forward'.
I often did in the early months if I felt like drinking, Go through all the drinking, remorse, heartache, withdrawals, guilt? It stopped me in my tracks.
Alcohol turns us into something we don't like when sober but forget when the old av is tempting us.
I often did in the early months if I felt like drinking, Go through all the drinking, remorse, heartache, withdrawals, guilt? It stopped me in my tracks.
Alcohol turns us into something we don't like when sober but forget when the old av is tempting us.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Dee sometimes says "we don't shoot our wounded on SR." I think that's a testimony to SR's power.
There is a fine line to be navigated here sometimes -- wanting to help, seeking to be constructive and doing so in a way that doesn't push people away, but doesn't minimize the destructiveness of alcohol.
There is no written archive from which I can retrieve evidence of the wasted me. If there was, I'm sure my own words would be cringeworthy.
The best that can be done is to learn from the past and be steadfast in our resolve not to repeat it.
And rest assured, time helps considerably. One of its benefits is that we gain the clarity and confidence to no longer look at alcohol through the lens of "good" times we're deprived of, but rather as a part of our lives -- alcoholism -- we're grateful to see recede, then disappear, in the rear view mirror.
There is a fine line to be navigated here sometimes -- wanting to help, seeking to be constructive and doing so in a way that doesn't push people away, but doesn't minimize the destructiveness of alcohol.
There is no written archive from which I can retrieve evidence of the wasted me. If there was, I'm sure my own words would be cringeworthy.
The best that can be done is to learn from the past and be steadfast in our resolve not to repeat it.
And rest assured, time helps considerably. One of its benefits is that we gain the clarity and confidence to no longer look at alcohol through the lens of "good" times we're deprived of, but rather as a part of our lives -- alcoholism -- we're grateful to see recede, then disappear, in the rear view mirror.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by thomas11
I have a new found respect for the SR family after reviewing the thread Scott linked. I can't believe you guys stuck with me. I was quite the a$$h*le. Not sure I could have stuck with it. It's frightening to me that I was well into a drinking session at what...like 9:45AM? So basically there was no ending to the first session. Abhorrent behavior is what I would call it. What I keep thinking right now to myself is "damn, what a d**k.
The alcohol is what makes us crazy. The alcohol is why we do and say the things we do. It's not YOU or ME. We are good people. Alcohol is evil and when we drink it we do things we would never do when sober.
If there is anyone on here throwing stones at you for past behavior (while drinking), SHAME ON THEM!
I care about you and want BOTH of us to stay sober and get our lives back. Shame and fear are the top 2 reasons people relapse. I think resentment is up there too. I have to watch all of those things!
I'm hopping off here now to read my mediations, pray, jump in the shower, eat breakfast and head to an AA meeting. Remember....SOBRIETY is an ACTION WORD! ;-)
Today is INDEPENDENCE day! INDEPENDENT from alcohol!!!! Free from it! Free from the evil, the poison, the misery....
24 hours Jeff. Let's not drink for 24 hours! Ok?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
I like what was mentioned about what Dee says "no shooting the wounded here on SR".
We can always count on Dee to be the voice of reason. This is a bit off topic, but I think many of us feel we "know" Dee. For pure curiosity reasons, I wonder what kind of a guy he was when he was actively drinking? Care to comment Dee? I know you were an all day everyday guy towards the end.
But I'm speaking personality wise.
We can always count on Dee to be the voice of reason. This is a bit off topic, but I think many of us feel we "know" Dee. For pure curiosity reasons, I wonder what kind of a guy he was when he was actively drinking? Care to comment Dee? I know you were an all day everyday guy towards the end.
But I'm speaking personality wise.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Hey Jeff!! Glad to see you back today!! 
This thread rumbled on after I had went to bed, and I'm just after reading through it.
SR is a great place for support, because people can distinguish between alcohol (our addiction) doing the talking or us doing the talking, the reason being it's not from a book, or something we've all read in today's newspaper or seen on TV, it's because we've all been there, got the t-shirt, plenty of scars to show for it, and that family/community spirit comes from not wanting anyone to go down the same path for another second more if they don't have to.
It becomes painful for us to watch it unfold and that's why at times sure things can get heated, but really the majority of time it's coming from the right place.
Anyways great to see you back today, plus here's Dee's story which is always a good read:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
This thread rumbled on after I had went to bed, and I'm just after reading through it.
SR is a great place for support, because people can distinguish between alcohol (our addiction) doing the talking or us doing the talking, the reason being it's not from a book, or something we've all read in today's newspaper or seen on TV, it's because we've all been there, got the t-shirt, plenty of scars to show for it, and that family/community spirit comes from not wanting anyone to go down the same path for another second more if they don't have to.
It becomes painful for us to watch it unfold and that's why at times sure things can get heated, but really the majority of time it's coming from the right place.
Anyways great to see you back today, plus here's Dee's story which is always a good read:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
