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Help needed asap!! Hotline??

Old 07-02-2015, 05:55 PM
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Question Help needed asap!! Hotline??

Hi all,

I am not new to the forums here, but this is for someone new... My daughter is here at my home, kicking heroin cold turkey. She's tried it before and couldn't get through day 3 -- this is day 2... I am at a loss for how to help her and I want to know how I might find someone in our area who could talk to her or even sit with her (with a level of security, letting a stranger into our home)?

She is miserable, hurts all over... All I can do is tell her it's not forever, eyes on the prize, etc., but she asks whether she can ever feel "normal," how to deal with the mental as well as physical pain, etc. and I have no experience with which to answer her.

(In addition, and just as coincidence to her timing to come here and go through withdrawal, a recent boyfriend died a few days ago, ODing with alcohol and heroin. I'm trying to make that some form of encouragement, but it's hard.)

Any help for someone trustworthy she might speak with? Where do I start?

Thanks in advance for any advice!!!
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Old 07-02-2015, 05:57 PM
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Where are you?
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Old 07-02-2015, 06:04 PM
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I'm in Maryland.
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Old 07-02-2015, 06:07 PM
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If you have any sugar give it to her. It's supposed to ease the withdrawal symptoms from heroin.
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Old 07-02-2015, 06:16 PM
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I sent a private message to you.
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Old 07-02-2015, 06:31 PM
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This link is for NarAnon in your state:

Maryland Nar-Anon MD

Please note that we cannot offer any kind of medical advice. If you are in doubt, contact your dr or an ER for help.
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Old 07-02-2015, 06:56 PM
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Central Maryland Area | Chesapeake & Potomac Region of Narcotics Anonymous
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Old 07-02-2015, 06:59 PM
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Best wishes for you and your daughter FD

Heroin Action Coalition of Carroll County

Operates a 24-hour substance abuse hotline at 410-386-2424 where callers can receive a list of detoxification and/or treatment services, or just a sympathetic ear.

The toll free number is 866-HEROIN-1 (437-6461).
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Old 07-02-2015, 07:44 PM
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Thank you all SO much!! I wanted her to have the support of a listening, understanding ear, and realize that is exactly what you gave to me, too.

I did reach a local NA hotline and got through to a volunteer. My daughter was willing to listen to her-- not much conversation on her end, beyond "How did you get through the pain?" -- but she said it helped. I gave her the number -- it's 24/7.

Thank Goodness for volunteers who care like you all who are here, and folks on the other end of hotlines. It is really different from for-profit facilities who want your insurance info and five yards of paperwork before they'll even listen to the reason you're calling!!

It means a lot. Thank you!!!!
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Old 07-02-2015, 07:52 PM
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Sounds like a trip to a local ER is in order.

Save your Daughters life tonight!...Deal with the "ramifications" later.

DD
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Old 07-02-2015, 07:58 PM
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Let us know how you are both doing! Keep on coming back to Sober Recovery!!

Love and Hugs to you both!
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Old 07-02-2015, 08:09 PM
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You are your daughter are in my thoughts...there are some things like hot baths to help with leg pain and cramps...help relax a little....
Have you talked with your doctor?
Talking with your doctor can help ..They can supply some meds to help with the symptoms...nausea, blood pressure, insomnia..
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Old 07-03-2015, 10:24 AM
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I hope it all works out for you and your daughter!!
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Old 07-04-2015, 11:17 AM
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Thanks again for the support. She had another difficult night last night -- went to bed and woke up in pain (she said it hurts all over) and cold/hot/cold. I gave her some naproxen this morning.

She went back home this morning (1 hour away-- her Dad and I transport her and meet halfway). I wanted her to stay but she insists she must work tomorrow, an early shift. She seems in no shape for that.

So she is by herself again. It worries me, but I am trying to accept the things I can't control. I send her encouraging text messages, and she has the hotline number. She knows where to find meetings, doctors, clean/sober support... Of course, she also knows how to find heroin. She seems motivated, but we have been down this road so many times before.

I am sure there are also underlying psychiatric issues that need attention. Bipolar disorder and chronic depression both run in my family, and she was diagnosed with ADD in elementary school. (I have seen her get low and then extremely, irrationally anxious when clean...)

Thanks again.
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Old 07-04-2015, 01:45 PM
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Old 07-04-2015, 01:59 PM
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Impressive thread all around. Freedance , it looks like these folks on SR gave you just what you were seeking. The standard (and often very appropriate) response is to go to an ER as quickly as possible. Sometimes withdrawal is a life threatening situation and there's no other alternative. Good luck with your daughter. There is no easy answer. My problem was simply alcohol and I learned that I could not recover without help from others in recovery.

W.
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Old 07-04-2015, 04:30 PM
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I hope that your daughter continues to work on her recovery.
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Old 07-04-2015, 07:21 PM
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"It ain't over 'til it's over," right?

I know it will never be over, but she just can't or won't get it started. I think she has already used again.

Something she said on the phone (about "if" she were to use, how she'd just "keep trying" etc.)... I sent her a text she didn't reply to... and (although I try not to do this for my own sanity) I checked her phone record, and see texting back and forth to some numbers outside of her neighborhood. I'm pretty sure if these were sources of support or just friends, she'd have mentioned it.

I don't know what to do any more. It's been ten years, and I've evolved over this time, mostly from going to Nar-Anon. One woman there said she told her daughter she couldn't have a relationship with her as long as she was in active addiction. I emulated that for a while, but I hear myself preaching that this is a mental illness, not just choosing to be an addict - so why treat her the way I believe our whole culture shouldn't treat addicts?

Then I became obsessed with the thought that this is such a deadly disease. She has already lost at least five friends to it. I thought of myself at her funeral -- what would I wish I'd done or said while she was still alive? And I decided just to be in touch by text, a line or two each night just to let her know I love her.

Maybe I have to be back to that. After all these warm fuzzies and caring for her as she tried to kick it (and I think she really means to kick it each time), I hate to cut her off from me just hours later -- I am her only emotional support. I don't want to hurt her, but I don't want her to keep lying to me and acting like she's okay, when she isn't.

It is so painful. She is my only child and I love her more than life itself. She's making a living successfully, but knows she needs to quit to advance to the next level (involving traveling) and the next step is coming up this month.

(She says she is "scared too" -- of using -- as though it were something that happens from some outside force.)

I am worried and sad whether I am in touch with her or not in touch with her. I'm just lost again. Of course, there is always the slight possibility it's not what it seems -- maybe she's taking a nap. Maybe the texts were to a clean/sober friend. Maybe she is going to seek support tomorrow... And if I challenge her on it, that's where she'll go -- acting hurt that I would even think she used...

Maybe I need to draw a line -- no more coming here to detox until or unless there is a wider plan with other sources of support and a long term strategy from the time she gets home. Then again, if she were seriously committed to getting clean, wouldn't she set up every possible support ahead of time, without me having to spell it out and insist on it?

I know the life/death decision is up to her, entirely. I know I don't want to ride this roller coaster, and I don't want to watch her die or distance myself while she dies... It just hurts so much. That's where I always end up -- realizing it just plain sucks, and there is nothing I can do but acknowledge that it just plain sucks -- I didn't cause it, can't control it, can't cure it -- and I need to focus on me. It is so hard to focus on other goals, when all I really want is to be her mommy. (And a grandmother. )

Just got a text message back -- she was at the store and forgot her phone... Now she's going to reply to what I wrote, which was just that I was concerned. I don't want to play detective and say, "Who is this phone # you were texting?!" I don't want to challenger her... I just can't believe her.
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Old 07-04-2015, 07:32 PM
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Texted her back... Just said she needs to be honest with herself.
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