New here... hi everyone
SMART Recovery
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 10
New here... hi everyone
Hi there everyone,
I'm new to these forums. I am 36 and I'm an alcoholic. I have decided that enough is enough, so as of today I have decided that I am a non-drinker. I have been progressing with my drinking over the past 15 years or so, gradually getting worse, and I really want to quit drinking before I start losing the things that are important to me. I have a beautiful fiance, two wonderful young kids, a nice house, car, career, and everything anyone can ask for, but when I start drinking it's like the alcohol takes over and I become obsessive over it.
I am thankful, though, that my fiance really doesn't drink at all. My parents are both alcoholics, and they drink together, sitting around the table listening to music 4-5 nights a week. I don't want that for my life. I don't even have fun while drinking anymore, I almost always do it alone, watching sports or You Tube videos, it's so boring. I never wake up the following morning and think.. wow, I had such a good time last night, drinking alone in the living room after everyone went to bed. I mean, who does that?? It's so irrational. I've tried to moderate it, to cut back, but obviously that doesn't work. I can't just have one beer, forget it, if I have one I need to have ten more. And every morning I wake up, it's one of the first things I think about - whether or not I can get away with drinking in the evening. I mean, I would probably drink every night if I could get away with it - if that doesn't tell me I have a problem then I don't know what does.
I've tried to quit countless times over the years, with very little success. I sometimes have problems fitting in, or socializing with people, and I guess I have come to depend on alcohol as a social crutch, and now it's really at a point where it has become more than that. I have had terrible anxiety and stress over the years as a result of my drinking, and although I haven't lost anything as a result of it , I am sure that will change if I keep it up.
I thought I could check out some AA meetings in my local area, that may help. I've been reading the Big Book and I have it on my ipod to listen to as well. I am lucky in the sense that my fiance will support me during those times where I get weak, and maybe feel like caving in and drinking. I feel hopeful for the future, I guess. The longest period of time I've quit in the past 15 years has been 3 months, and that was fantastic. I felt clear mentally, had much more energy, felt more positive about things, felt "smarter", more confident, and generally happier. It's just that I get these moments of weakness - usually around mid-afternoon, where I mentally decide that I will drink that evening. If I can get through those instances, I think I will be fine. I really hate being a slave to this addiction, it's effin' terrible. There's only one way out though, and that's through quitting. I may not have hit "rock bottom", but I have decided that I'm not going to dig anymore.
Thanks for listening everyone. I am looking forward to becoming a bit of a regular on these forums.
Bobby
I'm new to these forums. I am 36 and I'm an alcoholic. I have decided that enough is enough, so as of today I have decided that I am a non-drinker. I have been progressing with my drinking over the past 15 years or so, gradually getting worse, and I really want to quit drinking before I start losing the things that are important to me. I have a beautiful fiance, two wonderful young kids, a nice house, car, career, and everything anyone can ask for, but when I start drinking it's like the alcohol takes over and I become obsessive over it.
I am thankful, though, that my fiance really doesn't drink at all. My parents are both alcoholics, and they drink together, sitting around the table listening to music 4-5 nights a week. I don't want that for my life. I don't even have fun while drinking anymore, I almost always do it alone, watching sports or You Tube videos, it's so boring. I never wake up the following morning and think.. wow, I had such a good time last night, drinking alone in the living room after everyone went to bed. I mean, who does that?? It's so irrational. I've tried to moderate it, to cut back, but obviously that doesn't work. I can't just have one beer, forget it, if I have one I need to have ten more. And every morning I wake up, it's one of the first things I think about - whether or not I can get away with drinking in the evening. I mean, I would probably drink every night if I could get away with it - if that doesn't tell me I have a problem then I don't know what does.
I've tried to quit countless times over the years, with very little success. I sometimes have problems fitting in, or socializing with people, and I guess I have come to depend on alcohol as a social crutch, and now it's really at a point where it has become more than that. I have had terrible anxiety and stress over the years as a result of my drinking, and although I haven't lost anything as a result of it , I am sure that will change if I keep it up.
I thought I could check out some AA meetings in my local area, that may help. I've been reading the Big Book and I have it on my ipod to listen to as well. I am lucky in the sense that my fiance will support me during those times where I get weak, and maybe feel like caving in and drinking. I feel hopeful for the future, I guess. The longest period of time I've quit in the past 15 years has been 3 months, and that was fantastic. I felt clear mentally, had much more energy, felt more positive about things, felt "smarter", more confident, and generally happier. It's just that I get these moments of weakness - usually around mid-afternoon, where I mentally decide that I will drink that evening. If I can get through those instances, I think I will be fine. I really hate being a slave to this addiction, it's effin' terrible. There's only one way out though, and that's through quitting. I may not have hit "rock bottom", but I have decided that I'm not going to dig anymore.
Thanks for listening everyone. I am looking forward to becoming a bit of a regular on these forums.
Bobby
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Hi Bobby,
I'm new as well, this is my 2nd day sober. Your story sounds familiar to me in many ways. Especially the parts you haven't lost anything yet, but if you continue, you will. And I also related to it not even being fun anymore. I must have watched every video on YouTube.
Good luck on your journey!
Jerry
I'm new as well, this is my 2nd day sober. Your story sounds familiar to me in many ways. Especially the parts you haven't lost anything yet, but if you continue, you will. And I also related to it not even being fun anymore. I must have watched every video on YouTube.
Good luck on your journey!
Jerry
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 888
Wow Bobby, you just told part of my story! Same thing, could never have just one beer and after years of trying on my own the longest I had was 3 months!
I'll be honest with you, it finally took serious consequences for me to get help. I kept thinking I'd eventually quit on my own or just 'get better'. It doesn't happen, trust me! After starting AA and getting a sponsor I can say today that the obsession you talk about and that every alcoholic experiences is truly gone! Not to say I don't ever have a rough day or even think about drinking, but that 'obsession' that led to that first drink every single time is gone by the grace of God!
I'll be celebrating 14 months sober this week and brother, if I can do it then you can too! I'd suggest you get to a meeting and get a sponsor and let God do the rest! You already have a leg up with two beautiful children and a fiance that supports you!
All the best!
I'll be honest with you, it finally took serious consequences for me to get help. I kept thinking I'd eventually quit on my own or just 'get better'. It doesn't happen, trust me! After starting AA and getting a sponsor I can say today that the obsession you talk about and that every alcoholic experiences is truly gone! Not to say I don't ever have a rough day or even think about drinking, but that 'obsession' that led to that first drink every single time is gone by the grace of God!
I'll be celebrating 14 months sober this week and brother, if I can do it then you can too! I'd suggest you get to a meeting and get a sponsor and let God do the rest! You already have a leg up with two beautiful children and a fiance that supports you!
All the best!
SMART Recovery
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 10
Thanks for your responses everyone. Actually I have an extra motivation that I didn't say anything about in my initial post - my fiance basically said she won't go ahead with our wedding (which is next year) unless I quit drinking so... basically I can either chose drinking or my family. It isn't really much of a choice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
Originally Posted by BobbyOMalley 
Thanks for your responses everyone. Actually I have an extra motivation that I didn't say anything about in my initial post - my fiance basically said she won't go ahead with our wedding (which is next year) unless I quit drinking so... basically I can either chose drinking or my family. It isn't really much of a choice.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Houston TX
Posts: 55
Welcome Bobby,
I am on day 6. I am married with 2 beautiful boys. However I too would love and sit drink alone. I would even hide in the closet for a drink. I never thought I could go 6 days. They have amazing support on here.
I am on day 6. I am married with 2 beautiful boys. However I too would love and sit drink alone. I would even hide in the closet for a drink. I never thought I could go 6 days. They have amazing support on here.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Welcome, Bobby! It sounds like you've made up your mind and have good reasons to quit. That's an excellent start. When the going gets rough, try to remember why you want to be sober, get all the support you can find and, above all, persevere in being the best person you can be.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 263
You know, I once read about something someone did. It was a long time ago and in a different context and not related to addiction, but I just remembered it and thought it might be a great way for you to stay sober.
Put up pictures of your loved ones everywhere. Even on the ceiling, so that the first thing you see when you wake up, you see them. Change the background of your phone to a picture of them.
Don't overdo it though, it might look a little odd.
But everywhere that's a special place in your life and you know you will look at regularly, put one of the picture there. It reminds you what you're doing it for. And I know that seeing loved ones makes one feel good, so in that way it can help as well.
Put up pictures of your loved ones everywhere. Even on the ceiling, so that the first thing you see when you wake up, you see them. Change the background of your phone to a picture of them.
Don't overdo it though, it might look a little odd.
But everywhere that's a special place in your life and you know you will look at regularly, put one of the picture there. It reminds you what you're doing it for. And I know that seeing loved ones makes one feel good, so in that way it can help as well.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Welcome Bobby, what a wonderful and well articulated post. I wish I could have written something that clearly when I joined the site, and as far as what was contained in the post, you could have very well just signed my name at the bottom. Almost identical situation with very similar thought pattern. So, you are not alone in your situation. Just an FYI, you have a fiance who is setting some rules and that is providing some support for you, in my case it was my wife, and I can tell you from experience, it worked. When you really boil it down, alcohol is just not that important. It may seem super important at times, but really, it isn't, agree? Good luck and please us posted.
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