lighter

I come across the question "Am I an alcoholic?" a lot.

And I always have to suppress my answer "does it matter?"

There is a better question: "is this the life I want to live?"

If the answer is no what are you going to do about it?

NeoGuest

I want the very thing that is wrecking me

dwtbd

Wanting is not necessarily stoppable, doing definitely is and it goes a long way to curbing the wanting.
Acting on the wanting is the addiction continuing , breaking the cycle comes from not acting on the wanting or feelings , the feeling of still wanting to is not a sign of failure of trying to quit. Giving into the wanting is not quitting.

FreeOwl

I get what you mean.... even today I dislike the moniker "alcoholic" and sometimes find myself questioning if it's even real.

But what I am always able to go back to is the simple recognition that when I drank alcohol - I didn't like the shape my life took, didn't like the person I was, didn't like the way I behaved and how I handled myself.

When I don't drink alcohol - my life is better, I feel good about myself, I am a good person who lives according to values I feel are honorable.

So, really, what does it matter?

Alcoholic... not alcoholic.... the bottom line is that alcohol isn't something that enhances my life, it takes away.

ElleDee

I don't think it matters unless it matters to you.

I would still be drinking if it wasn't hurting my health, both mental and physical. I couldn't live that way anymore. It wasn't the life I wanted.

ScottFromWI

I don't think the label matters at all. For me, however, it was vitally important to acknowledge/accept the fact that I cannot, and never will be able to drink responsibly. Until I did that I held out hope that I'd some day be able to control my drinking and live my life better..yet still drink moderately. That never happened of course, and when I finally accepted my fate/addiction for what it was things really changed...and it did allow me to start living a better life.

ArtFriend

I think labels like being an alcoholic are helpful for some and not for others. I finally had to take on that label for myself. I was dancing all around it...I am a heavy drinker, a drinker with problems, a problem drinker, blah, blah blah. Finally I said to myself, you are an alcoholic. It was liberating in a way. Once I defined myself as such, I found that it spurred action in me.

BBQBOY

I am allergic to alcohol.....period!

PurpleKnight

Until I finally parted ways with alcohol on a permanent basis I went round in circles for a long time trying to control and moderate my drinking!!

The actions and solution were the same regardless of the label I put on it!!

Soberwolf

Dont worry about the label so much but for me like Scott said its acceptance knowing i will never be able to drink safely or responsibly again

Stick at it sobriety is a life upgrade

thomas11

Hi lighter, I think the question you ask is an excellent one. I often ponder the same thought. It could even transcend into a philosophical topic, and a long conversation could ensue. But to answer your question, does it matter? No, not one bit in my opinion. Its just a word in the English language, nothing more nothing less.
The second portion of your post I do beleive is tremendously important, and it appears you've figured out the answer. A simple, yet great post.

Wholesome

The whole idea of drinking responsibly never made sense to me? Isn't the point of taking the substance to get high and feel the effects? Why would anyone bother to take it just to get a little high? Does that make me an alcoholic? I guess so. I ended up wanting to do it all the time, didn't matter what else was going on in my life, I wanted to be drunk for it or drunk at the next opportunity.

Dharma33

Well said!!

FreeOwl

Yep

Oh there were plenty of times I just had a couple or a few... But that was generally because there wasn't more, or there was something else happening limiting drinking time, it it was a setting where others were being very moderate.

But those always led eventually to big blow outs..... Getting obliterated. The stuff I was really after.

And those over time led to more and more need to feel that way... Chasing that feeling.... Drinking alone or in secret.... Trying to ride the knife edge between functioning and blacked out....

On The Road

I can't stand the term "alcoholic." But more than that, I can't stand the fact that I'm an alcoholic. The reality is that words do mean something, you know? It took me a long time to admit it, but after doing so, it made the decision not to drink very simple for me. Now you can't call me a "lush," or a "barfly," or a "boozer."