New to site, have a question :)
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 12
New to site, have a question :)
I have been sober 2 years 3mos and it seems to be getting harder.
My husband is a binge drinker like I was, he does still drink around me sometimes and this makes me angry.
I even get angry when he doesn't drink in front of me but comes home buzzed or drunk.
We are going in two different directions and I don't know if I can be around alcohol at all.
I have been tempted lately when others drink around me. Is this normal?
My husband is a binge drinker like I was, he does still drink around me sometimes and this makes me angry.
I even get angry when he doesn't drink in front of me but comes home buzzed or drunk.
We are going in two different directions and I don't know if I can be around alcohol at all.
I have been tempted lately when others drink around me. Is this normal?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Welcome, April! Congrats on over 2 years sober! My impression is that much depends on how much work we do on ourselves after stopping drinking. When I stopped previously, I just stopped and that was it. I eventually (13 years later) started drinking again. This time was really hard and I had to do a lot of work to stay sober. From all that I did, I learned a lot that I hope will stand me in good stead for the future.
Some people do relapse after awhile. Alcohol addiction is not "cured" no matter how long we have been sober. I can understand that it would be frustrating to live with someone who still drinks.
I hope you'll join us and that you will find some inspiration here!
Some people do relapse after awhile. Alcohol addiction is not "cured" no matter how long we have been sober. I can understand that it would be frustrating to live with someone who still drinks.
I hope you'll join us and that you will find some inspiration here!
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 12
Thank You
Originally Posted by Saskia 
Welcome, April! Congrats on over 2 years sober! My impression is that much depends on how much work we do on ourselves after stopping drinking. When I stopped previously, I just stopped and that was it. I eventually (13 years later) started drinking again. This time was really hard and I had to do a lot of work to stay sober. From all that I did, I learned a lot that I hope will stand me in good stead for the future.
Some people do relapse after awhile. Alcohol addiction is not "cured" no matter how long we have been sober. I can understand that it would be frustrating to live with someone who still drinks.
I hope you'll join us and that you will find some inspiration here!
Some people do relapse after awhile. Alcohol addiction is not "cured" no matter how long we have been sober. I can understand that it would be frustrating to live with someone who still drinks.
I hope you'll join us and that you will find some inspiration here!
Thank you for sharing about your relapse. I can imagine it is much harder to quit the second time.
I pray for strength and insight on how to deal with my husband
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Welcome!
I feel for you. It must be really trying to be in recovery when the one you love is a binge drinker.
I hope you'll stick around here. It's a great place for support. We cannot control others - not even our loved ones. We can, however, take steps to protect our own sobriety.
It sounds like yours is being strained. You will find ideas and support and help in reinforcing your sobriety foundation here.
I feel for you. It must be really trying to be in recovery when the one you love is a binge drinker.
I hope you'll stick around here. It's a great place for support. We cannot control others - not even our loved ones. We can, however, take steps to protect our own sobriety.
It sounds like yours is being strained. You will find ideas and support and help in reinforcing your sobriety foundation here.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,494
Hi April,
Congratulations on your recovery.
Have you talked with your husband about how his drinking affects you? If not, it might be worth a try. If you already have, then I hope you will be able to find some peace. At any rate, we are here to offer support.
Congratulations on your recovery.
Have you talked with your husband about how his drinking affects you? If not, it might be worth a try. If you already have, then I hope you will be able to find some peace. At any rate, we are here to offer support.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2,978
Hi April.
My man still drinks and I can deal with him having a couple in the evening but I can't stand when he gets drunk. It doesn't happen often but when it does it makes my skin crawl. Even worse is if he comes home drunk. You drove home drunk! Why not call me? Letting you know that someone else knows a little bit how you feel.
My man still drinks and I can deal with him having a couple in the evening but I can't stand when he gets drunk. It doesn't happen often but when it does it makes my skin crawl. Even worse is if he comes home drunk. You drove home drunk! Why not call me? Letting you know that someone else knows a little bit how you feel.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 12
:)
Originally Posted by Anna
Hi April,
Congratulations on your recovery.
Have you talked with your husband about how his drinking affects you? If not, it might be worth a try. If you already have, then I hope you will be able to find some peace. At any rate, we are here to offer support.
Congratulations on your recovery.
Have you talked with your husband about how his drinking affects you? If not, it might be worth a try. If you already have, then I hope you will be able to find some peace. At any rate, we are here to offer support.
It's so sad how common this is in my generation and how detrimental it can be.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 12
yes!
Originally Posted by gettingsmarter
Hi April.
My man still drinks and I can deal with him having a couple in the evening but I can't stand when he gets drunk. It doesn't happen often but when it does it makes my skin crawl. Even worse is if he comes home drunk. You drove home drunk! Why not call me? Letting you know that someone else knows a little bit how you feel.
My man still drinks and I can deal with him having a couple in the evening but I can't stand when he gets drunk. It doesn't happen often but when it does it makes my skin crawl. Even worse is if he comes home drunk. You drove home drunk! Why not call me? Letting you know that someone else knows a little bit how you feel.
I can't decide if I'm ok with alcohol around at all Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: PA
Posts: 562
Congrats on your 2 plus years........ I'm not married so I make all the rules here.....and I don't let alcohol in my house......I don't hang out w people that have been drinking or drink as a pastime ...... Your not the first spouse to complain about the others drinking.......i think its a touchy subject.......because you don't want to instill your values upon someone else and force them to change their behavior but at the same time your sobriety is the most important thing you've got going.......I think it supersedes everything......so do what's right for you. Bottom line.
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 32
I'm in the same boat with you guys. My husband drinks after work almost daily and comes home sometimes with a slur and I get so mad and we fight. And he lies about drinking at work but I'm not stupid. I even said we should try marriage sober but he doesn't want to. I keep quitting and then drink again over and over. I'm sick of it. Day 3 for me again. Hope you work it out and keep your sobriety safe
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 12
Thank You
Originally Posted by juliemacw
I'm in the same boat with you guys. My husband drinks after work almost daily and comes home sometimes with a slur and I get so mad and we fight. And he lies about drinking at work but I'm not stupid. I even said we should try marriage sober but he doesn't want to. I keep quitting and then drink again over and over. I'm sick of it. Day 3 for me again. Hope you work it out and keep your sobriety safe
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
The drink is actually the solution, not the problem. You need to figure out what is making you want to drink after a pretty substantial abstinence. I always hated AA, but I was having some similar feelings well into my recovery and I started to go to meetings and make friends with people like me that were sober. It really did the trick. I never want to drink again. There is zero desire to every imbibe ever again. Hope this helps.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
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:)
Originally Posted by Soberween
The drink is actually the solution, not the problem. You need to figure out what is making you want to drink after a pretty substantial abstinence. I always hated AA, but I was having some similar feelings well into my recovery and I started to go to meetings and make friends with people like me that were sober. It really did the trick. I never want to drink again. There is zero desire to every imbibe ever again. Hope this helps.
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