thomas11

Hi Sahm, quoting your OP "I told myself I didn't have a problem. Even though I knew inside I did".

I believe you answered a lot of your own questions in that one sentence. Stay in touch with the good people here that will help you and answer your questions. Best wishes.

aprilrocks26

I was an angry mess for the first two weeks. I had to do anything I could, read, write, pray, exercise, organize to get past the initial shock to the system. It passed. Sought counseling right away as well. Found things I loved to do again. Hang in there great job for admitting!

whiteturtle

Your thoughts about worrying about watching TV without alcohol resonate with me... Oddly, that is one of my biggest triggers. If I am reading a book, I can't be drinking a ton because I wouldn't be able to read! Binge-watching shows gave me a great excuse to just sit down with wine for hours. I like RPG videogames, and those, too, make me want to drink. I am on Day 2 today, and I have a REFLEX of reaching for my wine while I am running around the in-game world.

As a result, I am trying to read more, or just focus more on the game I'm playing or show I'm watching. But it's different and strange.

I have a feeling this will be a long and tough road...but I think we are making the right choice in admitting that there is a problem. I am still not quite letting myself feel the shame I know is lurking, but just trying to take one step at a time, and congratulate myself for those victories.

I am glad that this forum exists. I think we will have a lot of help here.