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Old 06-30-2015, 12:04 PM
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Problems

He situation at work has deteriorated and I've fallen out with my girlfriend and tonight I've fallen out with my mum and dad.

They say I'm too introverted and inwardly focused and that everything is about me

At work I don't feel supported

How do I focus outward? It involves altering a lifetime of habits but if everyone in my life is reacting negatively to me, they must all have a point right?

I'm probably negative all the time on here too!

Been a tough day, am I making it tough? I have no idea anymore to be honest

Quitting alcohol is one hard , rocky road and I'm struggling
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Old 06-30-2015, 01:38 PM
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How long have you been sober? Is your girlfriend and family supporting you?
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Old 06-30-2015, 01:54 PM
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You are right. Quitting alcohol is hard. Everything that I drank alcohol to cover up is now in front of me. The only way to get through it is to deal with it. It has been tough for me to figure out who I am. It's been tough for those around me and in my life too. Some people in my life didn't want my personality to change; they just wanted me to stop drinking because I was so dangerous to myself and others. But the thing is, when we stop drinking we ARE different. At first it isn't a good different.....recovering is hard work and very emotional so we can often flux between anger, sadness, and nothingness. But given time.......I did start figuring out who I was. I'm still working on it. The only relationship you need right now is with yourself. People in recovery say once you can do this then you are ready to be in a relationship. We never do it that way though. We get in to relationships and continue relationships even when we haven't figured out who we are. It is tough. But IT IS POSSIBLE. Just DON'T DRINK.
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Old 06-30-2015, 02:09 PM
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Originally Posted by BeBetterforkids View Post
How long have you been sober? Is your girlfriend and family supporting you?
I've been sober over 8 months now, my girlfriend and family are not being supported but that is the current dilemma I'm faced with. Maybe I'm so far introverted I would not even notice if they are or they aren't ?
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Old 06-30-2015, 02:09 PM
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They say I'm too introverted and inwardly focused and that everything is about me


Neither introversion nor extroversion is a bad thing-and neither is a sign of selfishness or self centeredness.

For me, it is a balancing act when It comes to the "outward" stuff. I plan my schedule accordingly and
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Old 06-30-2015, 02:14 PM
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Hi Stewy i think this is stress building up are you currently looking for other work while still employed ? maybe a change of scene will work wonders who knows

As for your gf i dont know the politics or dynamics but maybe a lovely dinner out somewhere then a film or an art gallery something which is a change of scene

I think if you clear the air with your parents & talk to them aswell as listen and try to find some common ground & understanding it will really help

Another idea is you could with your gf & child have a nice day out somewhere diffrent catch a train and explore some countryside maybe ?

Here for you Stewy
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Old 06-30-2015, 02:33 PM
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Originally Posted by soberclover View Post
You are right. Quitting alcohol is hard. Everything that I drank alcohol to cover up is now in front of me. The only way to get through it is to deal with it. It has been tough for me to figure out who I am. It's been tough for those around me and in my life too. Some people in my life didn't want my personality to change; they just wanted me to stop drinking because I was so dangerous to myself and others. But the thing is, when we stop drinking we ARE different. At first it isn't a good different.....recovering is hard work and very emotional so we can often flux between anger, sadness, and nothingness. But given time.......I did start figuring out who I was. I'm still working on it. The only relationship you need right now is with yourself. People in recovery say once you can do this then you are ready to be in a relationship. We never do it that way though. We get in to relationships and continue relationships even when we haven't figured out who we are. It is tough. But IT IS POSSIBLE. Just DON'T DRINK.
Thank you for your advice, it's nice to hear it and there are things I can follow
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Old 06-30-2015, 02:35 PM
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Hi Stewy i think this is stress building up are you currently looking for other work while still employed ? maybe a change of scene will work wonders who knows As for your gf i dont know the politics or dynamics but maybe a lovely dinner out somewhere then a film or an art gallery something which is a change of scene I think if you clear the air with your parents & talk to them aswell as listen and try to find some common ground & understanding it will really help Another idea is you could with your gf & child have a nice day out somewhere diffrent catch a train and explore some countryside maybe ? Here for you Stewy
As always, thanks wolf. I'll set some time to job hunt, perhaps I need to review my current approach to this job too.

Thanks man
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Old 06-30-2015, 02:57 PM
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Just because everyone says it, no it doesn't mean they are right!!

For me focusing on my Sobreity meant making some tough decisions about activities and people, and I probably looked like I was retreating away on my own, more introverted, less sociable, a complete change of routine away from bars/clubs/nights out . . . soo I'm sure I was criticised in some corners.

But Sobreity was about life and death and at some point we have to stop worrying about other people and finally, once and for all care about ourselves, something I hadn't been doing for years through drinking, so if that meant people not liking it then tough, I was doing this for me and not for them.

Holding onto our conviction to remain Sober is tough, but we gotta do what we gotta do!!

Hang in there Stewy!!
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Old 06-30-2015, 03:02 PM
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Anytime bud
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