Alcoholism
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 8
Alcoholism
I'm getting so used to this routine. Alcoholism is stealing my soul. I don't want to hangout with anyone unless alcohol is involved. I don't enjoy doing the things I used to without it; fishing, shopping, etc. I don't want to leave my house without a buzz. This morning I woke up hungover from the night before & began to drink at 9am. This addiction is truly sickening me but I don't care, because nobody knows. I've been getting sneaker with my family, asking for money to feed my addiction to get another bottle the next day & this is a never ending cycle I don't see ending. I'm a liar. I have a sponsor and she thinks I'm sober but that is so far from the truth, I go to meetings drunk but I still feel no remorse or sorry. I've been feeling really depressed & the drinking is getting heavier. I need someone to talk to about my problems, underneath the drinking which is masking my true emotions.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Have you considered sharing all of this with your sponsor or a counselor? My guess is that even though you think no one knows, most likely they do - it's a very common misconception our addiction feeds us. People at AA meetings are not naive enough to not notice you showing up drunk, it's a pretty common occurrence actually.
Don't rule out some kind of rehab program either - if Alcohol has completely taken over your life, you might need professional external help to take it back.
Don't rule out some kind of rehab program either - if Alcohol has completely taken over your life, you might need professional external help to take it back.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 8
Maybe you're right that people do know, but from what it seems no one does. My family is "proud of me for being sober" & that feels good even though it is a lie. I got so caught up in lying sneaking cheating and stealing I don't know how to just come clean.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
It's pretty simple. To your family you say, "Hey, I've been drinking again. But I want to stop again, starting right now." To your sponsor you tell the whole truth and you start really working on your recovery. I also agree with Scott that rehab would probably be a good option for you as it will really give you an opportunity to come clean about the lies and hiding and make a fresh start with good support.
I lived in a tangled web of lies and booze for almost fifteen years. It's a horrible pathetic existence that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Admitting your lies and drinking on here is a good start--now take that next step. There is a better life waiting for you on the other side of this.
I lived in a tangled web of lies and booze for almost fifteen years. It's a horrible pathetic existence that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Admitting your lies and drinking on here is a good start--now take that next step. There is a better life waiting for you on the other side of this.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
You can turn this around Mickey!!
For me the downward spiral of drinking was leading me down a road to nowhere, alcohol was doing me no favours just starting to cause me misery, but we can break the cycle, we can draw a line in the sand and say no more!!
For me the downward spiral of drinking was leading me down a road to nowhere, alcohol was doing me no favours just starting to cause me misery, but we can break the cycle, we can draw a line in the sand and say no more!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Mickey, you should be proud of yourself for your honesty with this forum, that's important. We know where you're at, we've been there, and it will get worse. I 100% agree that the booze is at the core of your lack of emotions, lying and not feeling remorse. It appears you understand that too. To quote gettingsmarter... get some help bud. You won't regret it.
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