SweetBaby

I am almost laughing like a crazy persons. My emotions have been so all over the place. But hey at least I am feeling something.

So my thoughts for today.

1. I have always been a huge people pleaser. I do and do for everyone. I have to learn to say no.
2. I am not perfect. I cant keep my home perfect all the time and have dinner on the table for my husband all the time.
3. How crazy is it that I wanted a better relationship with him. But would push him out the door so I could drink in the closet.

I was lonely but made my only friend alcohol?? Like most of the things I have been so mad about were my fault. I have to get myself together!

My physical withdrawal is getting better. Still trembling. But hey I am feeling something. I can feel the life God gave me in my fingers and the air I breath in my chest. I have been a crazy person too long. I hope I can remember these simple things. One day at a time. I will continue to read your stories and hopefully one day I will have enough perspective to help and say kind words like so many have said to me.

JensDestiny

Congrats on 3 days... keep going!

Anna

SweetBaby, I think you have a really good attitude. I think it's good to see things as they really are, but try to not blame yourself. The three things you mentioned are the same as I dealt with in the early days. People pleasing is a disease in itself, but I hadn't known that. I thought my house had to be perfect all the time - something that I put on myself. No one else did. And, yes, I loved the times when my husband would be away because I was always a closet drinker and yet I wanted the relationship to improve. Hindsight and perspective are wonderful things.

PurpleKnight

3 Days is fantastic!! Keep pushing through!!