I am really worried

Old 06-29-2015, 07:15 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
wpainterw's Avatar
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2 Muchpainwrote: "The point I was trying to make is to be true to yourself and your intentions."
Yes, I completely agree. That's engraved on the chip they hand out at AA meetings. But the essential question is "What is meant by yourself...your intentions?" When you're in recovery and trying to regain control of your AV the question, as it is with any "beast", is "who's in charge here?" There are two "me's", one the AV, the other your "true" self, the self which has been numbed into complacency by alcohol. It's a dodgy situation, to put it mildly. I found that I needed all the help I could get and then some. Particularly other recovering alcoholics. Like them I tended to be a risk taker. Often feeling "true to myself" ("I'll get by; I'll manage this...") More often than not I found I was wrong. And the odds of failing grew increasingly higher, the consequences more severe.. It takes work, stamina, humility and a lot of luck. That's all I can say.

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Old 06-29-2015, 07:39 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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I don't agree with the luck part.The trick at my stage is to not be weak.Me walking past a nice resturante or hoppin club is to do that keep walking unless im hungry or thirsty..haha....I have decided to not drink 3 months ago.from 12/15/14 until 2/13/15 not much had changed except I had enuff,,,can it be that simple when you just have had enuff...No physical craving...I don't dwell on it during the day...its just like getting up to bat in the big game a bit worried but confident...Writing this I hope I don't look like a fool in 2 weeks....
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Old 06-30-2015, 09:38 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by exwell66 View Post
I don't agree with the luck part.
Perhaps what I meant was "good luck". All I know is that I could not do it without help from others. Time and time again, I was led to have "just one little glass of wine at social occasions." It worked, for awhile, sometimes it worked for several months. But gradually, inexorably, it gradually led me back to the slippery slope and as the years went on the slope became more steep, more slippery. My AV was jerking me around for 40 years. And, when all was said and done, I might again say, "I'm O.K. now! I've had enough! This is the end of my alcoholism." Yet I failed to hear the little chuckle at the base of my brain, my AV saying, "Yes, of course! You're sooo right! [chuckle! chuckle!]." Forty years....

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