murrill

In a word: Surrender. But it was more than just something I did: It was a place I reached. I spent years trying to figure out how to drink without consequences. Surely there was a way, I thought. A graveyard littered with failed relationships, loss of self-respect, shame, and hopelessness finally drove home the point: Alcohol had me whipped. I was out of answers, and I was convinced beyond dispute.
I found AA, and there was hope in the 12 steps. I kept it green: If thoughts of drinking appeared I followed the suggestion to "think it through": I carried the thought process through beyond the illusion that a drink would make me feel good. I played it through the out-of-my-mind intoxication, to the next morning when I tried to recall what happened in that blackout, to the fear of shame of remembering what I had done.
In retrospect, I think I experienced a shift--and I had the same experience when I quit smoking--when quitting was no longer what was drove me. No, it was when I wanted to be healthy & happy & sober. It was about moving toward something good, not about losing something. There is a difference.

Cathryn2001

My shame had become unbearable because I knew that my kids deserved better; they never signed up for a mother who was constantly engaged in various actions related to the acquisition, consumption, and recovery from beer. So, on a day in which I endured a particularly harsh hangover, I made the decision to quit.

Some people take it one day at a time. From the first moment, I had to remove drinking from the table forever. I wouldn't allow myself to entertain it as an option.

To get through cravings, I thought "the first drink through" to the end. No matter how much my AV attempted to negotiate, I knew that it would NEVER be just one beer. One to two to ten, then, straight back to shame. I deserved better, and so did the people who loved me.

And speaking of the people who loved me, I announced to them, about 3 days in, that I had stopped drinking. That increased my accountability. If I had relapsed, I may have been able to deal with the disappointment from my DH and mother, but I couldn't have stood it coming from my sons.

Finally, I read a post on SR early on that really resonated with me. It was something like, "I don't know if I have another recovery left in me." That was pretty profound, and it reminded me of the seriousness of my addiction. It kept me fighting . . . in July, I will have 2 years.

Believe your family when they tell you that they are nearly done--the people who love us can only take so much before they have to figure out a way to protect themselves from our damage. Recognize that you deserve better, and that cravings aren't nearly as bad as the feelings you will surely experience in the days following a bender. Understand that things can (and will) get much worse if you keep playing that same old record. Quit now before it feels even more impossible.

You CAN do this. Tell yourself that over and over until you believe it. Best of luck, always.

Gottalife

For recovery to stick it has to be rewarding.

It has to be different to my old life where periods of not drinking were miserable which is why "don't drink, no matter what" never worked for me.
Just not drinking and then trying to organise my life to suit myself didn't work.

For recovery to stick it has to feel worth while, enjoyable, satisfying, and it has to give me the feeling that I am on the right track with my life.

To accomplish that I had to be willing to do the work. To get the willingness I had to understand the nature of this illness. It always gets worse and always ends in one of three ways, recovery, insanity, or death.

To get the result I got, I had to be convinced about three pertinent ideas, which formed the basis of the actions I took to bring about recovery.

a) That I was alcoholic and could not manage my own life.
b) That probably no human power could relieve my alcoholism
c) That God could and would if He were sought

I took a lot of convincing.