Jeremiah2911

Good morning. I say that but I don't feel it. I had a long night of sleeping on a couch in the basement because we had tornado warnings going off late last night. I am terrified of bad weather. Saying that, I realize that I am even more terrified of not succeeding with this drinking thing. I had 3 days straight with no problems and then succumbed when I found out something really difficult about my dad. Why am I stupid enough to think that drinking wine will help me not have to handle tough situations. It's not like they aren't right there when I am no longer under the influence. It actually makes it worse because I've just postponed feeling the feelings.
I am making it my goal to get on SR as soon as I get home from work each day this week because it is so helpful to me. Even though I don't "know" all of you, I still feel accountable to you and that helps me. If I have had something to drink, I feel guilty about getting on the site because I don't want any of you to be ashamed of me. It's funny how people I have never even met can mean so much to me and have such an effect on me. That said, I thank God for each and every one of you.
Be blessed today.

Dee74

why not try and use SR in those times you feel overwhelmed and tested Jeremiah?

D

Gilmer

Just letting you know I support you, Jeremiah! This is a great place to unload.

Have you tried joining your "class" thread? It's a great way to form tight bonds with a loyal bunch of people who are in the same boat.

Yours is probably the "Class of June 2015" thread listed on this page.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-11.html

Feel free to scan around the other class threads. You can join several if you like!

There is also the "One Year and Under" thread. That's a good place to share and unload emotions, plus get sympathy and guidance from people who are a little farther along in sobriety.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-46-a-15.html

There are plenty of other forums here for whatever problem you're facing and whatever mood you're in. Make yourself at home!

Hopeless1978

Good luck to you!! Chances are, drinking that wine will make you feel worse off about your dad. Drinking isn't the solution, take it from me! I lost a lot bec. of it and if I have one regret in life, it's missing out on so much bec. I was too drunk or too hungover! I can't turn back time, I can only learn from it and move the hands forward! :-) Good luck to you!

Soberwolf

What D said 10,000%

CaseyW

I second the notion of joining the June 2015 class if you haven't yet done so. Being active and involved in my own class has made all the difference in my early recovery.

Jeremiah2911

I have joined the class of June 2015 and I like the idea of the One Year and Under group. I'll look into that tonight.
Dee and SoberWolf, I totally WANT to do that but it often seems like, when I'm that stressed my rational mind clicks to off and I make stupid choices.
I have been PMing someone who has offered her phone number. I have to start taking advantage of talking it out with someone.

RosyBates

Hey, don't get discouraged. Knowing you need to stop and reaching out is the most important step right? One thing I like to think about when I get stressed and want to drink is that alcohol never makes things better. It makes them flammable. Something that is already full of heated emotions does not need an accelerant, ya know? Honestly its just a good way to burn your life down. Luckily we can be our own fire rescue squad.... it may sound lame, but sometimes just the ridiculousness of picturing something like that can help a little

Gilmer

What a true and brilliant statement!

Soberwolf

Have you got a plan bud ?

Jeremiah2911

RosyBates, you have no idea how your words resonated with me. Fire has had an enormous impact on my life-3 house fires in my family, one killed my alcoholic brother. If I can use that visual of alcohol being flammable and "burning down my life", it can be helpful for seeing it as the truly awful thing that it is.

SoberWolf, I have a plan that changes all of the time because I haven't found one that works. That said, I KNOW what I need to do. I have to find a way to stick to it. I make deals with myself and with God and then I go back on my word. It feels horrible because in my relationships and my work I am a completely reliable person that does what I say I will do. This "secret life" person is so NOT who I want to be. How did/do you make a plan and stay with it?

Gilmer

Wow! What a bolt from heaven for you!

Here's a thread that might help with a plan: it's a sticky at the top of the Newcomers' forum.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html