saoutchik

Ah - so sorry to read that IfYouCanDream but its good that you posted the next day.

No way have you wasted that 6 months in one evening. The fact that you said "it hurts it hurts" is a good thing that maybe you can use in the future. It seems to me that you have had exactly the right reaction which bodes well for the future IYCD.

Elodie

Sending you mental hugs, IYCD.

EverNew

Wholeheartedly agree with many of the responses... Forgive yourself and move on. i know what it's like when resolve crumbles and you relapse. It's absolutely dreadful.

Sincerest sympathy to you.

L.

greens

Sending hugs <3

Soberween

At least you came here and posted what happened. Some would turn it into a full blown relapse bender. No one can take those almost six months away from you. Your organs that are affected by alcohol are still in better shape than if you had drank every day during that time. Relapse doesn't have to be part of the journey, but sometimes it is and maybe it is a blessing in disguise because now you know it really is a big romanticized lie.

IfYouCanDream

Used to be a Januarian. I guess I'm a Juner now.

LBrain

sorry to hear this...

you are still a Januarian as far as I can see.... stick with your group, but by all means join another if you wish...

the important thing is you realize you made a mistake and feel bad about it. okay, you're done feeling bad about it, move forward

Lola23

I'm sorry to hear this, but I just wanted to say thank you for posting. You can't go back in time to change what happened, but please know that you have reached me across the great internet divide, and I am really grateful that you posted.

I hope you're feeling ok.

ArtFriend

Hey, I also relapsed yesterday. But, we can't dwell on that too much. We must learn from it and tweak our recovery so it doesn't happen again. I am glad you posted about it... people here are wonderful and they really care. So let's start anew! a new day and a new way.

Hevyn

IfYouCanDream - I've done it too. I also found it to be a guilt-inducing let down. Nothing fun or relaxing about it. It proved to me there's nothing in it for us anymore - and after that I felt stronger and more determined than ever. Hugs to you.

Dee74

you haven;t lost all that you gained or learned in those 6 months AYCD.

hate addiction, not the addicted.

You made a mistake. pick yourself up, learn from your mistake, and keep moving forward

D

Gilmer

I finally quit for good in Nov. 2013, but I still consider myself part of the Jan. 2013 and March 2013 classes, too! Nobody is going to turn their backs on you!

feren

Your post struck a chord with me o.p. Onwards and upwards with the help of this site!

Dharma33

Hi Dream-

Thank you for your honesty; and for coming back the next day to pick up right where you left off.

I really appreciate what you wrote about 'Romanticizing'.....after any amount of time away from this poison we all do I'm sure.

You are far from worthless; only human! Great work on 6 months; don't forget that

Soberwolf

I know the Januarians pretty well they're a good bunch im pretty sure they'd welcome you back with open arms

As long as you acknowledge it and keep moving forward you'l be ok bud

IfYouCanDream

Thank you everybody for your support.
I read every message several times and you'll never know how much each one of you have helped me to get through the day with having a complete breakdown.

Thank you Friends.

Lovesunrises

Hi IfYou CanDream. I understand how you feel. The same thing happened to me. You had 6 months, which is fantastic. You came here right away to tell about it rather than continue on with your drinking, which I think makes you a strong person. All we can do is forgive ourselves, put what's done in the past and keep trying. Hugs to you!

IfYouCanDream

And I'm sure this SOB AV will be back in no time, giving me ideas.

He already whispered in my ear today: well, 6 months are gone now anyway, you might at least make that loss worthwhile and get drunk a couple more times... and then a couple more.

Well, how about NO! I don't want to feel this emptiness (aka buzz) ever again.

Sometimes I dream there would be some medicine or surgery one can have to get rid of AV. I know, how childish of me.

Day 2. It's official, AV is back. But I will not drink. F*** Off AV.

saoutchik

definitely

Anna

Yes, it's not surprising that the AV has seen this as a great opportunity. But, you know you are going to get through this.