Summer91

My husband tried to stop drinking and lasted about 2 months, he slowly got back to drinking, nowhere near what he used too but is still drinking. I do ok seeing him do it but since I'm not drunk now with him he can really just be so mean. Not physical at all never has been but he is just not someone I want to be around when he's like this. We've been married for 20 years and I don't know how to handle this. 😓😓😓

ownmybehavior

Summer are you sober or looking to become? Or is this about his drinking?

OMB

Anna

Summer, it sounds like you have stopped drinking? Are you trying to remain sober as your husband drinks? This can be tough, but it's very possible. Is there anywhere you can go when he becomes nasty? You might also check out our Friends & Families forum on this board.

least

It's hard, but possible, to stop drinking even tho your partner still drinks. You have to want to be sober more than you want to drink.

Summer91

Yea I have been sober for 4 and 1/2 months. It's been harder since he started drinking again, but it makes me realize how much I hate that life. I wish I could have one drink here and there but I know I can't so at this point when people ask me, I have no plans on ever drinking again. I'm not much of a social person, I mostly drank alone at home. I'm trying to get more involved in my church so I can meet new people and keep busy, hard because I'm such a home body. I really don't have a lot of friends, I would only hang out with my husbands friends and their wives and girlfriends who all drink. So in the last 4 months I've only been around them one time since I stopped drinking. I feel stuck in a hard place right now, our marriage has always from the beginning been up and down and I do worry this is going to cause real big problems. I just joined this site a few days ago and I hope this will help me get through this, it's a great place to vent and get advice and encouragement. Thank to all.

ownmybehavior

Summer congrats on the 4 1/2 months! Sorry I asked, but I read the "since I'm not drunk now with him" as that you sometimes you are. Glad you're not.

Sounds to me like finding a safe place to be when he gets nasty is a great idea. Whatever will help to preserve your sobriety.

Best to you and again Congrats!

OMB

Summer91

All great advice, I do want to be sober more then I want to drink. Trying to form new habits has been harder then I thought it would be. It really is a daily choice and I'm happy sober, my kids love that I don't drink and even my husband says I seem happier, just want him to do the same now. All I do is pray about it and avoid him if I can when he's had too much.

ownmybehavior

Posting here is a great start! A lot of people here can help. Stick around.

OMB

Ruby2

Hi summer. Congrats on 4.5 months. That's great.

I quit while my husband was still drinking. It is harder I think. Because you want to join. For me, that wasn't an option. I came on here a lot and I started attending AA meetings where I've met a couple of women who've become friends. Maybe give it a try.

Church is good too but isn't failsafe. I was just invited to a fundraiser that involves cocktails with a group of the church women. All their outside church activities seem to involve cocktails but that's not an option so I don't go.

Hang in there. I'd also suggest checking out the family and friends forum.

Faker

4.5 months is fantastic. Welcome to the group.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Summer!!

Dee74

Hi Summer

It's tough when your spouse drinks, but not impossible.
I hope that in time he'll choose to follow your example.

I'm sorry he's a mean drunk tho. They may be just words but that doesn't sound good for you to me.

D