Struggle with memories
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: london uk
Posts: 261
Struggle with memories
The funeral of my mother is tomorrow
I'm heading to a hotel close to the church
It's been a tough 10 days
Brought some photo albums for people to leaf through..
If you saw just the pictures it seems like a 100 years of happy families
But it hasn't been: I loved them very much but they were loosely called toxic parents..
I've had counselling.. But with having to write the eulogy and meet family incoming it sometimes feels like I made all the madness up.
I'm technically an orphan now.. Lots of opportunities to redefine myself.
Will do my best not to drink tomorrow.
My wife will hold my hand.
Wish me well x
I'm heading to a hotel close to the church
It's been a tough 10 days
Brought some photo albums for people to leaf through..
If you saw just the pictures it seems like a 100 years of happy families
But it hasn't been: I loved them very much but they were loosely called toxic parents..
I've had counselling.. But with having to write the eulogy and meet family incoming it sometimes feels like I made all the madness up.
I'm technically an orphan now.. Lots of opportunities to redefine myself.
Will do my best not to drink tomorrow.
My wife will hold my hand.
Wish me well x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
I'm very sorry for your loss.
You didn't make up the madness in your family. It was there as you saw it. But, death and funerals bring up a lot of unexpected emotion. You will be able to get through this.
You didn't make up the madness in your family. It was there as you saw it. But, death and funerals bring up a lot of unexpected emotion. You will be able to get through this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 46
This breaks my heart, my condolences to you Jim.
My mother is still here but we don't talk and sometimes I think about if it will last until one of us has to bury the other one day. I hope it doesn't but it hard to tell.
If you can, please share how you got thru this. I'm sure you have more strength than you know.
My mother is still here but we don't talk and sometimes I think about if it will last until one of us has to bury the other one day. I hope it doesn't but it hard to tell.
If you can, please share how you got thru this. I'm sure you have more strength than you know.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,908
Sorry about your loss. My mother died a year and a half ago unexpectedly. I was still heavily drinking at the time and spent most of the week or two after her death very drunk. It didn't help and I still don't think I've really even started to process her death.
Glad you made the decision to not take that first drink. Wishing you the best today...honor her memory by living a good life.
Glad you made the decision to not take that first drink. Wishing you the best today...honor her memory by living a good life.
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