Depression and recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Halmstad Sweden
Posts: 12
Depression and recovery
Hi all. Am new to this forum so thought I'd start a new thread (as advised somewhere)... Am 36 years old about 3 weeks into recovery from severe alcohol use - and I'm a bloody mess. Have been trying to get sober since about February but put myself through several disastrous relapses, each one worse than the previous. Ended up in hospital 4 times due to seizures etc (my god i am horrified writing this and SO ashamed). Have, naturally, failed at my university studies (again, the shame) and am now where I am - depressed and terrified with difficulties concentrating on anything but the most basic. And reading posts on these forums, which I do. A lot. I have put my family through absolut hell and they are so tired and disappointed. Failed to connect normally and make new friends with people at university and without the kind people in AA I would feel very very alone. I have used alcohol to dull pain since about 2013 and things have progressed to disaster quickly over the last year. I feel fat, ugly and useless. Feel I have no...content, contours. Just pain and angst left. I know I should exercise etc and fill my time with meaningful activities but finding even that extremely hard right now. As I said above, basic necessities enough and dragging myself to meetings. Please, please someone tell me this will get better.
VERY grateful from response from someone.
L.
VERY grateful from response from someone.
L.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Halmstad Sweden
Posts: 12
Thank you...
...so very much. Yes, i keep clinging to that. There is really no alternative, is there? Difficult giving myself time as am plagued by 'should' and 'must'. Must get better, should lose weight, should catch up on my studies (feels impossible as cant keep two thoughts straight). My family (am staying with them at mo) so very keen on detecting 'progress' and return to my, well, old self (efficient, entertaining and creative blah blah). Feel supervised and ungrateful. Wah.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum EverNew!! 
Things will get better with time, in the same way my drinking progressed to what it became, creating a new Sober lifestyle, new habits, routines, it all took time and with it things started to get better!!
Things will get better with time, in the same way my drinking progressed to what it became, creating a new Sober lifestyle, new habits, routines, it all took time and with it things started to get better!!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 14,916
A lot of people screw their lives up in various ways with alcohol, and then get sober and think that life is suddenly going to be great.
For me, alcohol abuse was a gradual downhill progression. When I finally put the brakes on, it was a gradual uphill climb. Being the inpatient type, I wanted things to get better immediately. It didn't work that way.
I've been sober several years now, and my life is the best it's every been. So yes, taking alcohol out of my life made a huge difference.
For me, alcohol abuse was a gradual downhill progression. When I finally put the brakes on, it was a gradual uphill climb. Being the inpatient type, I wanted things to get better immediately. It didn't work that way.
I've been sober several years now, and my life is the best it's every been. So yes, taking alcohol out of my life made a huge difference.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 76
We alcoholics tend to be very hard on ourselves. If you are going to meetings and not drinking I wouldn't worry about anything else for the time being.
It does get better, but it doesn't happen immediately. Focus on meetings and not drinking and it will get easier!
It does get better, but it doesn't happen immediately. Focus on meetings and not drinking and it will get easier!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
My contribution is not new or awe inspiring but for now, just stay sober. Make it priority #1. Pieces will start to fall in place. 3 weeks is a very good start. If you start doubting yourself or having thoughts of drinking, come back and read your original post. It was pretty intense.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I can certainly relate. I've had 5 hospitalizations for withdrawal, injuries, alcoholic hepatitis. I'm am 38, and lost everything to the bottle. career, house, fiancé, dignity. Gone.
The thing that keeps me going though is that I mainly lost material things and a few relationships that probably wouldnt worked out anyway. I knew I was self destructing and I didn't care.
With increasing life expectancy I could live to 80-90. Plenty if time to rebuild a happy life.
Don't give up. One day at a time.
The thing that keeps me going though is that I mainly lost material things and a few relationships that probably wouldnt worked out anyway. I knew I was self destructing and I didn't care.
With increasing life expectancy I could live to 80-90. Plenty if time to rebuild a happy life.
Don't give up. One day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Fingerlakes,NY
Posts: 4,536
Don't take on everything at once! Just do what it takes to not drink and you will be surprised how other things start to fall into place. Be kind to yourself and don't look back...you aren't going that way.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 60
Congrats on three weeks! That's such a great start. Keep posting and reading on here... It's helped me get through my first five days, I know it's not much, but it's a start. Everyone has to start somewhere and you have a great start under your belt. Keep your head up and keep up the good work!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Halmstad Sweden
Posts: 12
Thanks all for your comments... I will keep posting, it helps. I don't really experience cravings as such, just a great emptiness and curious inability to be 'active'. Went to my meeting last night and find that I can talk and think THERE with fellow addicts but am so tongue-tied with friends and family (especially the latter). Anyone recognise this?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 259
I am right there with you but only at 5 days!!!! Lost pretty much everything in the matter of a year and a half or two. Hearing the stories of people who claim it gets better is helping so much. Just know you are not alone. I wish I was at three weeks!! What a wonderful accomplishment!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Halmstad Sweden
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by LostLilly 
I am right there with you but only at 5 days!!!! Lost pretty much everything in the matter of a year and a half or two. Hearing the stories of people who claim it gets better is helping so much. Just know you are not alone. I wish I was at three weeks!! What a wonderful accomplishment!!!
. Yes, it IS helping - hugely. As they say LostLilly, keep going. Feel with you as I do with everyone going through this and having lost so much due to whatever substance. Christ, there are so many of us... i think about the words in a post above saying dont take on everything at once. And yeah, it is hard that. I have to try to work actively at accepting that this is how things are. NOW. No more no less. I am very afraid I have caused some kind of permanent damage - cognitive function for example. Please, let me regain my ability to think... I am so worried about this. I know there is sort of no point worrying about it, I know. Just have to wait and see. Love to y'all.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
