When its over?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: ont,canada
Posts: 30
When its over?
I've been doing this battle along time and it needs to be over.I wrote my wishes for when i die and put them with my insurance papers and i felt more calm then i have in along time.It feels good to think i could be useful.I do have life insurance so i think i can help more dead then alive.I just have to find the right time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: ont,canada
Posts: 30
I can't seem to ask for help aand i just keep blowing it.Last week i seen a friend buried at 24 years old died of a brain clot she had a 6 month old child and husband.I should have died before her, it doesn't seem fair.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
I'm in Ontario too Busy.
Wanna talk?
Nothing is worth the finality you're thinking about.
Nothing. Send me a PM if you want. Maybe we can hook up and chat.
I've been in that lonely place, less than a year ago.
Let's figure this out.
Wanna talk?
Nothing is worth the finality you're thinking about.
Nothing. Send me a PM if you want. Maybe we can hook up and chat.
I've been in that lonely place, less than a year ago.
Let's figure this out.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Oh Busy, I'm sorry and often life does seem unfair.
Why are you so sad right now? Are you able to contact a dr?
Take a look at this link if you like, I hope it helps:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=17075
Stay online and keep posting.
Love, Anna
Why are you so sad right now? Are you able to contact a dr?
Take a look at this link if you like, I hope it helps:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=17075
Stay online and keep posting.
Love, Anna
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
I dont know why life gets so painful sometimes . I lost a friend too this year , I lost another friend to suicide some years ago and I dont think I will ever get over it , sometimes the only thing we can do is live on and honor the memory .Tommorow might be better .Please dont be hard on yourself . I have been where you are and felt much the same .Its 9 months now and i feel totaly different ,there is hope for you ..trish
love is a choice
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: richmond va
Posts: 31
Is death what you really want.
When you die it's forever, no more second chances to live the life that God wants for you.
Let your creator be the one who decides when it's your time.
Your friend must a have been ready. Only God knows this.
Life is not that hard, only we make it hard on our self.
I wish you well.
sue
When you die it's forever, no more second chances to live the life that God wants for you.
Let your creator be the one who decides when it's your time.
Your friend must a have been ready. Only God knows this.
Life is not that hard, only we make it hard on our self.
I wish you well.
sue
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: ont,canada
Posts: 30
I"m so sad i can't find away out.If I run away noboby will get the money and that seems pointless i'm worth more dead then alive.But i need to do it ringht for insurance.I don't mean to hurt you all but i just need to get this out.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
Originally Posted by Busy
I"m so sad i can't find away out.If I run away noboby will get the money and that seems pointless i'm worth more dead then alive.But i need to do it ringht for insurance.I don't mean to hurt you all but i just need to get this out.
But there is hope Busy, even though you don't believe that right now.
Somewhere inside you, there is a spirit that is craving to yell out.
Sometimes, we feel cornered, with no possible way out. Not true. What happened? Write it out. It can only help you by sharing it. No judgements here. I promise.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: US
Posts: 81
Please stay around Busy. I PROMISE it does get better if you just hang on.
I attempted suicide 15 yrs ago. I was found and ended up in ICU for days, 3 of those days with no one knowing if I would make it. My organs were shutting down and what I had taken there was no antidote for. The hospital doesn't know why I lived. I was at the point that I should NOT have. About day 5 the nurses and DRs told me that during the time I was unconsious and fighting for my LIFE I would at times scream out like I was terrified or having horrid nightmares or something. I obviously made it and lived. I am so very very thankful I did not die. Even though I am fighting active addiction again now my life is still so much better than when I attempted suicide. I have gone on with my life and HAD ~7 yrs clean and sober (trying to start over again now), had another child (yes I attempted when my first son was almost a yr) and my life has been pretty good. Yes, right now I am struggling alot and at times i've thought my kids would be so better off if.......... However I just have to think back to what I would have missed in my life if I had killed myself AND what my son (only 1 at the time) would have to have lived without. Now this will probably sound weird to everyone BUT......I truly believe NOW with suicide that you will be "punished" for eternity if you kill yourself. I believe SOMETHING was making that pretty clear by the terrified screams I was having while I battled for life. anyway kind of rambling now but IF you can't stay around at this moment for yourself or your family and if you can't see how horrible it will be for everyone around you if you do this and you can't see that life WILL get better then think about what happens when you die by your own hand. No one knows for sure obviously but for me it was proven to me that I would have suffered for eternity if I had died and I think that is exactly the message that was being sent to me. Please hang on.
I attempted suicide 15 yrs ago. I was found and ended up in ICU for days, 3 of those days with no one knowing if I would make it. My organs were shutting down and what I had taken there was no antidote for. The hospital doesn't know why I lived. I was at the point that I should NOT have. About day 5 the nurses and DRs told me that during the time I was unconsious and fighting for my LIFE I would at times scream out like I was terrified or having horrid nightmares or something. I obviously made it and lived. I am so very very thankful I did not die. Even though I am fighting active addiction again now my life is still so much better than when I attempted suicide. I have gone on with my life and HAD ~7 yrs clean and sober (trying to start over again now), had another child (yes I attempted when my first son was almost a yr) and my life has been pretty good. Yes, right now I am struggling alot and at times i've thought my kids would be so better off if.......... However I just have to think back to what I would have missed in my life if I had killed myself AND what my son (only 1 at the time) would have to have lived without. Now this will probably sound weird to everyone BUT......I truly believe NOW with suicide that you will be "punished" for eternity if you kill yourself. I believe SOMETHING was making that pretty clear by the terrified screams I was having while I battled for life. anyway kind of rambling now but IF you can't stay around at this moment for yourself or your family and if you can't see how horrible it will be for everyone around you if you do this and you can't see that life WILL get better then think about what happens when you die by your own hand. No one knows for sure obviously but for me it was proven to me that I would have suffered for eternity if I had died and I think that is exactly the message that was being sent to me. Please hang on.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Busy-
As long as you have breath in your body God is not finished with you. Saddness is a hard emotion to deal with.....
You are worth way more alive than dead I am very sure of that. I am sorry your friend passed. We love you and I know someone you know loves you too and would be deeply saddened just like you right now if you decided to take your own life. Call Dan and let him help you.....We need you....
As long as you have breath in your body God is not finished with you. Saddness is a hard emotion to deal with.....
You are worth way more alive than dead I am very sure of that. I am sorry your friend passed. We love you and I know someone you know loves you too and would be deeply saddened just like you right now if you decided to take your own life. Call Dan and let him help you.....We need you....
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
((((((((((((((Busy))))))))))))))))))
Sending sincerest prayers your way. I too have attempted suicide before and been in such a deep depression I don't know how I made it...it truly feels like we can't go on..but we can you know. And posting here about how you feel is doing something to help..just keep posting., we all care here. In May 0f 2003 when I came to this site I was going to buy a gun the next day and end it all..right...not mess up like I always did before. Thought I was a disgrace to addiction and depression..but God had other plans for me..as He does for you my friend. Please call a crisis line, keep posting here....we have been where you are. The pain is brutal...but there IS hope...and help. You CAN get relief. Suicide is not the answer...and oh how I understand believing that it is. I struggled for so many years..just wanting to die. But like so many have already posted..we are glad we didn't. WE made it..so can you. You deserve to have help..and hope...and be at peace in this life, and you CAN. Please let us know how you are doing.
((((((((((Huge Hugs of Support))))))))))))
Sending sincerest prayers your way. I too have attempted suicide before and been in such a deep depression I don't know how I made it...it truly feels like we can't go on..but we can you know. And posting here about how you feel is doing something to help..just keep posting., we all care here. In May 0f 2003 when I came to this site I was going to buy a gun the next day and end it all..right...not mess up like I always did before. Thought I was a disgrace to addiction and depression..but God had other plans for me..as He does for you my friend. Please call a crisis line, keep posting here....we have been where you are. The pain is brutal...but there IS hope...and help. You CAN get relief. Suicide is not the answer...and oh how I understand believing that it is. I struggled for so many years..just wanting to die. But like so many have already posted..we are glad we didn't. WE made it..so can you. You deserve to have help..and hope...and be at peace in this life, and you CAN. Please let us know how you are doing.
((((((((((Huge Hugs of Support))))))))))))
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Lost in the world
Posts: 107
Oh Busy. I know this post was done yesterday and I hope you come back soon to read these replies. I am on the opposite side of the suicide track with you. My husband has attempted suicide a couple of times by taking pills. But each time he does it, he makes sure he tells someone he did. So in essence he really isn't looking to kill himself but looking & crying loudly for help. I haven't been able to help him yet & I don't know if I ever will be able to but you have to know help is out there for you. Believe me it would not be better off for me to have him dead. He thinks the same way you do, like his daughter & I will both be better if he was gone. But that is NOT the truth. The world needs you here. It is not a better place without you. I'm sure your family & friends feel the same way.
Please seek help from somewhere Busy. Please email me or Private message me, I would be more than willing to help if I can, but also willing to just listen. You are important to this world and no matter what you have done in the past, forgiveness is out there for everything. Nothing is worth wanting to end your life over. You can overcome this.
Please seek help from somewhere Busy. Please email me or Private message me, I would be more than willing to help if I can, but also willing to just listen. You are important to this world and no matter what you have done in the past, forgiveness is out there for everything. Nothing is worth wanting to end your life over. You can overcome this.
Trish
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