New to SR
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 5
New to SR
I'm 41, married with 3 children. I've been an alcoholic for years and finally have quit on my own. Been sober for 4 1/2 months. Still a daily struggle, esp when my husband drinks. I want it for the moment then it passes and I'm grateful I didn't drink. Hoping this site helps cause I feel people are sick of hearing about how I have to struggle to not drink. Trying to pick up some hobbies and things to do outside the house. I don't do anything with friends because it always involves drinking. Feeling frustrated 😓
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi Summer. Welcome to the site, and to sobriety.
I found it a real struggle at first, and eventually joined AA where it was a massive relief to get some support and chat to people who think like me.
I'm 15 months in, and gradually am finding that my sober diary has started to fill up without me noticing. I have made sober friends who are always there for me, and who I am there for. Some of my drinking friends turned out to be just that - but there are a couple that have stuck around and are happy to join me for non-drinking activities (but I needed to suggest things!!). I have also found that I increasingly enjoy the company of my mother (who only a year ago I was carrying so many resentments about, I would often cry just thinking about them); I have also made contact with some old friends who weren't interested in drinking when I chose that lifestyle, so I deserted them along the way thinking it was ME they didn't care for.
I don't have kids, but have enjoyed listening to a few of the girls at AA talk about how they do so much more with their children now, and that relationship blossoming has been a massive benefit they have felt from sobriety.
It IS a struggle. I found learning to be happy and sober really hard. As do most alcoholics. There's lots of support out there for you if you can bring yourself to reach out for it.
Can I suggest a book, which really helped me in early sobriety (I'm not on commission, honest
). It's called Living Sober and is available online and Amazon, either to download or in a paper copy.
Keep coming back here as well. This is SUCH a supportive community.
I found it a real struggle at first, and eventually joined AA where it was a massive relief to get some support and chat to people who think like me.
I'm 15 months in, and gradually am finding that my sober diary has started to fill up without me noticing. I have made sober friends who are always there for me, and who I am there for. Some of my drinking friends turned out to be just that - but there are a couple that have stuck around and are happy to join me for non-drinking activities (but I needed to suggest things!!). I have also found that I increasingly enjoy the company of my mother (who only a year ago I was carrying so many resentments about, I would often cry just thinking about them); I have also made contact with some old friends who weren't interested in drinking when I chose that lifestyle, so I deserted them along the way thinking it was ME they didn't care for.
I don't have kids, but have enjoyed listening to a few of the girls at AA talk about how they do so much more with their children now, and that relationship blossoming has been a massive benefit they have felt from sobriety.
It IS a struggle. I found learning to be happy and sober really hard. As do most alcoholics. There's lots of support out there for you if you can bring yourself to reach out for it.
Can I suggest a book, which really helped me in early sobriety (I'm not on commission, honest
). It's called Living Sober and is available online and Amazon, either to download or in a paper copy. Keep coming back here as well. This is SUCH a supportive community.
Magsie
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,640
Hi summer, welcome to SR, 4 1/2 months is great.
It can be a lonely battle, I came here to vent my frustrations rather than turning back to drink.
A hobby might be good for you, especially where alcohol isn't involved.
It can be a lonely battle, I came here to vent my frustrations rather than turning back to drink.
A hobby might be good for you, especially where alcohol isn't involved.
You'll find lots of support here. 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 5
Thank you all very much, I'm looking forward to this site. I just downloaded the app, much easier to navigate. My husband was the one who started this and then I started two days after him, he made it two months but was easily pulled back in. It was so much easier when he didn't drink. Now he hides it in the garage but I know it's there and there's beer in the fridge. It's tempting but I know it would only be a moment of happiness followed by so much regret. My girls are so happy I don't drink, they saw me drunk way too many times. As life got harder and my marriage was in trouble the more I drank and then when things got better I couldn't stop drinking. Wine isn't supposed to be gulped. I'm now in a different stage of all of this, being around people who are drinking. I'm the happiest I've been in a long time and have no plans of drinking ever again. Thank you for all your words of encouragement and advice. I've got many plans and hope to achieve them.
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