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Hello! Looking for a support buddy...

Old 06-19-2015, 04:41 PM
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Hello! Looking for a support buddy...

Hey folks. I'm a 30 year old engineer and I've probably been drinking off and on for 8 years now. I want more than anything to rid this completely from my life, and I realize I can't do it alone. So is anyone out there willing to be my buddy? All I'm really looking for is someone I can PM every day and say, hey, I made it through another day and didn't drink. Being accountable to someone makes a huge difference, I think. Plus maybe I could get a really good friend out of the deal!

Anyway, thank you for having me.
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Old 06-19-2015, 04:45 PM
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A lot of us will support you illuminate and chances are someone just like you can be a special buddy.
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Old 06-19-2015, 04:49 PM
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Read this Illuminate http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tml?styleid=93
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Old 06-19-2015, 04:51 PM
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You will find a lot of support buddies here.
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:22 PM
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SR has support 24/7/365!!
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:24 PM
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That's why we're here - to support you when you need it. And there's always someone here.
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:33 PM
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You can always post here to be accountable and you will get lots of support.
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:36 PM
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Yeah why restrict yourself to one buddy when you can have dozens ?

D
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Old 06-19-2015, 05:58 PM
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Just post in this thread every day, lots of people will reply back
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Old 06-19-2015, 06:32 PM
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There are 145k members registered here.......that's a lot of support buddies! Yeah and biminiblue is right......just keep posting.
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Old 06-20-2015, 12:30 PM
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Haha, alright. Well for the sake of my recovery, I hope this thread becomes enormous. I'm someone who really enjoys writing, so I hope to write in here quite a bit.

I've been a drinker for a long time. Probably the biggest reason alcohol held such appeal for me was that I'm naturally a very quiet and reserved person. And there are some people who just aren't okay with that and think that I "need to break out of my shell" and all that nonsense. The simple fact of the matter is that I choose not to jump to conclusions. I choose to listen instead of talk. I choose to be supportive and nurturing however I can. But this leads to people taking advantage of my generosity, something that really irritates me.

But to bring this back around to drinking, I found that when I was drunk, all my inhibitions went away. I stopped listening to people, stopped sitting in the background, and became some new, obnoxious version of myself. And what's odd is that some folks liked that version of me better than the sober version of me. I can think of a girl I dated in college who I met at a party...I was drunk and acting silly, and she really dug that. But when we hung out and I was my normal sober self, she found me boring. And so, in the initial stages, I drank to make myself interesting.

I don't really believe that anymore, that I need to be drunk to be interesting. I would say that now I drink to deal with stress and anxiety, and over the years, I never learned how to deal with those things internally. I only figured out how to deal with it externally, by drinking. I've been having a bit of a rough time with my girlfriend but have been open about these things with her, and she's helped me realize that I drink because I have no real coping mechanisms other than trying to distract myself from my anxiety. I haven't told her this yet, but I love her. And I want to make her happy, but more importantly, I want to be happy myself. I realize fully that I should get sober for myself, not for her.

Anyway, thanks for listening.
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Old 06-20-2015, 10:11 PM
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Thank you for sharing that, illuminate. Hope to read more of your posts.

I can identify with using alcohol as a "coping mechanism," it's one of the worst ones out there, I think. Never solved a darn thing for me, and only increased my anxiety. I realized that I needed healthy coping mechanisms, and an overall healthy approach to living in general. Recognizing the problem for what it is is a great start!
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Old 06-21-2015, 02:54 AM
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Many of us check in daily on this thread.
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Old 06-22-2015, 03:11 PM
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Just checking in on day 4. Dealing with a lot of anxiety today...I never really learned how to cope with anxiety other than just drinking it away. I'm going to try and just clear my mind and take some time to just relax.
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Old 06-22-2015, 03:15 PM
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Hi Illuminate i suffer with anxiety when it hits its awful have you spoken to a Dr recently ?

Big congrats on day 4 bud
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Old 06-22-2015, 04:29 PM
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I think you're doing great and anxiety in the early days is really common.

Try to remember to breathe deeply and relax. Take deep breaths (belly breaths) through your mouth and then slowly exhale through your nose. If you do that a few times, you will calm yourself. Shallow breathing makes anxiety worse.
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Old 06-22-2015, 04:38 PM
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Congrats on day 4!

I too suffer from anxiety and went through it when I first stopped drinking. Go easy on yourself right now and try to do some calming things that you enjoy.
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Old 06-22-2015, 05:37 PM
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The anxiety will get better, the longer you're sober.
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Old 06-22-2015, 05:42 PM
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the anxiety can be pretty killer in the begining but it does get better. You sound like me to some degree though you sound a bit ahead of the game then i was. I still didnt really realize i had no coping skills at that point. it was later i realized my only coping skill was to drink and that I had better get some.

I'm always complaining I have no friends feel free to PM me if you wanna yell at someone.
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