Fridays are so HARD & lonely...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Fridays are so HARD & lonely...
Why are Fridays so hard? I feel like everyone on the planet is out at happy hour or partying except me. It's FRIDAY!!! Isn't that what everyone does? I know....poor me.....! I sound like a complete baby right now. Whine whine...
My head just gets so messed up on Fridays. I am NOT drinking today no matter what and am NOT changing my mind...but I just needed to vent.
My husband goes out and plays softball every Friday night and drinks beer with the team during and after. That has been going on for years (even during my 5.5 years of sobriety). He knows I hate it but I am not gonna stop him from having fun after a long week at work. He's not an alcoholic. He even invites me to come along and I have a few times but it's hard because I'm literally the only one not drinking.
Anyway...I guess I just need to figure out some fun things to do with my time now that I'm not pouring poison down my throat.
Another thing...I have been feeling lonely. Not sure why? I am surrounded my kids all day long. I guess I'm just not sure where I fit in sometimes. I can't hang out with all the friends that are bar drinkers anymore. I don't know that many sober people. Other than AA, not sure where to find them? Should I become a nun? Nuns don't get drunk, right? Ha. Just kidding.
I just don't really know where my life is going right now. My only goal for the last 18 months has been to get sober again after my relapse last year.
Just feeling very lost in my life today. The only thing I know for sure is I want to stay sober no matter what! Does anyone relate to my post?
Thank you! It feels good just getting that out...
My head just gets so messed up on Fridays. I am NOT drinking today no matter what and am NOT changing my mind...but I just needed to vent.
My husband goes out and plays softball every Friday night and drinks beer with the team during and after. That has been going on for years (even during my 5.5 years of sobriety). He knows I hate it but I am not gonna stop him from having fun after a long week at work. He's not an alcoholic. He even invites me to come along and I have a few times but it's hard because I'm literally the only one not drinking.
Anyway...I guess I just need to figure out some fun things to do with my time now that I'm not pouring poison down my throat.
Another thing...I have been feeling lonely. Not sure why? I am surrounded my kids all day long. I guess I'm just not sure where I fit in sometimes. I can't hang out with all the friends that are bar drinkers anymore. I don't know that many sober people. Other than AA, not sure where to find them? Should I become a nun? Nuns don't get drunk, right? Ha. Just kidding.
I just don't really know where my life is going right now. My only goal for the last 18 months has been to get sober again after my relapse last year.
Just feeling very lost in my life today. The only thing I know for sure is I want to stay sober no matter what! Does anyone relate to my post?
Thank you! It feels good just getting that out...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 645
Friday's were always really hard for me too. It was like the witching hour on steroids. It does get easier with time as I'm sure you are aware having 5.5 years of sobriety. Make a plan to be super busy every Friday until you feel more comfortable being sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TN
Posts: 365
I sure do, not every Friday but lately I've been kind of sick of the fact that I can't drink normally. The key word is normal so I know it's never going to work for me. It's a passing thought though. Come tomorrow morning we are glad that we didn't drink, that I can assure you. Hang in there.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
No it's not what "everybody" does, it's simply one of the fairytales our addiction tries to convince us of.
Where I am it's 11pm and there are many that I know that are tucked up in bed asleep many hours ago as they work in retail, or in hospitals, I even know a guy who's a fireman on call most weekends, so a Friday night is just another night to them.
It did though take a long time to figure out my life after getting Sober, I felt lost, like a fish out of water, not sure where I was going and if I even wanted to go there, but time is a great healer!!
Hang in there Serenidad!!
Where I am it's 11pm and there are many that I know that are tucked up in bed asleep many hours ago as they work in retail, or in hospitals, I even know a guy who's a fireman on call most weekends, so a Friday night is just another night to them.
It did though take a long time to figure out my life after getting Sober, I felt lost, like a fish out of water, not sure where I was going and if I even wanted to go there, but time is a great healer!!
Hang in there Serenidad!!
Do your best
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,047
None of us are out getting wasted the fact your here & sober is something you should value
Serenidad you know why your doing this & how important it is to us
Keep on keeping on why not plan sober activity on friday evenings like badminton etc ?
Serenidad you know why your doing this & how important it is to us
Keep on keeping on why not plan sober activity on friday evenings like badminton etc ?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Ugh. It doesn't help that a bunch of moms just dropped all their kids off at my house to hang out with MY kids and they are all going out to drink.
They literally dropped their kids off (which I agreed to) right after I started this thread and said "now we are going to drink our asses off because it's FRIDAY!" I haven't even had a chance to read your replies.
That really just happened! What a loser I feel like. My husbands out, all the moms are out. Neighbors are out. I'm home with my cat, dog and a bunch of kids. Whine whine whine. I need to STOP IT NOW! (((Smack!))) :-(
They literally dropped their kids off (which I agreed to) right after I started this thread and said "now we are going to drink our asses off because it's FRIDAY!" I haven't even had a chance to read your replies.
That really just happened! What a loser I feel like. My husbands out, all the moms are out. Neighbors are out. I'm home with my cat, dog and a bunch of kids. Whine whine whine. I need to STOP IT NOW! (((Smack!))) :-(
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
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Originally Posted by Soberween 
Friday's were always really hard for me too. It was like the witching hour on steroids. It does get easier with time as I'm sure you are aware having 5.5 years of sobriety. Make a plan to be super busy every Friday until you feel more comfortable being sober.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TN
Posts: 365
Those people just think they are having fun. Something in their life is wrong if they feel the need to get obliterated. Celebrate that you are stronger than them and feel pity for them instead of yourself. Tomorrow you will be the star while they are in bed throwing up.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by tnman1967
Those people just think they are having fun. Something in their life is wrong if they feel the need to get obliterated. Celebrate that you are stronger than them and feel pity for them instead of yourself. Tomorrow you will be the star while they are in bed throwing up.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Whine whine whine = wine wine wine in my book. Venting is good and I do a bunch of it but when I wallow in it too long it's dangerous territory.
The moms. They trust you enough to drop their kids off while they go out. There are many times no one would dream of leaving kids in my care.
I went to a parade for the start of little league one year and many of the moms were sporting sunglasses and complaining of their headache hangovers from the night before. That won't be you.
We're such a fun bunch on here. Come join the weekenders thread on Friday.
And nuns do drink. A woman in an AA meeting I attend is a former nun.
Maybe write a gratitude list of all the BAD things you miss out on when you don't drink. Hangovers. Rocketing anxiety. Puking. Sweats. Headaches. Not getting anything done and enjoying absolutely nothing for the rest of the weekend because I'm too I'll or drunk.
Hang in there
The moms. They trust you enough to drop their kids off while they go out. There are many times no one would dream of leaving kids in my care.
I went to a parade for the start of little league one year and many of the moms were sporting sunglasses and complaining of their headache hangovers from the night before. That won't be you.
We're such a fun bunch on here. Come join the weekenders thread on Friday.
And nuns do drink. A woman in an AA meeting I attend is a former nun.
Maybe write a gratitude list of all the BAD things you miss out on when you don't drink. Hangovers. Rocketing anxiety. Puking. Sweats. Headaches. Not getting anything done and enjoying absolutely nothing for the rest of the weekend because I'm too I'll or drunk.
Hang in there
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Well, last time I checked I'm on the planet and I'm going to putz in the yard for a while, go to my favor gyros place for carry out. See what's on the tube or maybe read. Then go to bed so I can see all my buddies at my early morning AA meeting. What I used to call boredom I now call serenity
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 50
Fridays and saturdays are really hard.
I started by going to meetings on fridays amd saturdays...got there early, was the last one to leave.
Got invited to the "after meetings" and it helped me stay sober.
I kept doing so for a couple weeks...I really helped me..
Just a suggestion but perhaps you could try ? Not being alone friday night helped me. And I even realized that I could have fun with other sober people...who would have thought that? lol
I started by going to meetings on fridays amd saturdays...got there early, was the last one to leave.
Got invited to the "after meetings" and it helped me stay sober.
I kept doing so for a couple weeks...I really helped me..
Just a suggestion but perhaps you could try ? Not being alone friday night helped me. And I even realized that I could have fun with other sober people...who would have thought that? lol
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
The only difference between Friday and the other days is that Friday starts with an 'f'. Otherwise it's just a day like any other. And no, not everyone is out getting blasted. I'm not. I'm enjoying a quiet evening at home with my dogs and cats.
Why not do something with the kids who are visiting your kids? Can you organize a game for them to play?
Spend time with the kids and their friends if you can. Kids grow up really quickly and before you know it, they'll be grown and gone. Enjoy them while they're still at home.
Why not do something with the kids who are visiting your kids? Can you organize a game for them to play?
Spend time with the kids and their friends if you can. Kids grow up really quickly and before you know it, they'll be grown and gone. Enjoy them while they're still at home.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
You know, you all have a point. Friday night and weekends are hard at first and thank you for reminding me of that. I'm here to say if you stick with it, they will get infinitely easier. I no longer think "it's Friday and I'm really missing out on drinking". In the beginning I made sure to keep busy with mindless tasks and I also went to a beginners AA meeting to have face to face contact with other sober adults. And I learned there were fun people there and I could laugh and not feel sorry for myself. Hugs Serenidad!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
Would you like a little CHEESE to go with that Whine? No...really. There are some places and organizations that offer "Cheese Tastings". No Wine allowed.
Cheese and crackers that compliment each other are served and discussed. Wine only detracts from the flavor of the cheese's.
Look around. They're out there.
DD
Cheese and crackers that compliment each other are served and discussed. Wine only detracts from the flavor of the cheese's.
Look around. They're out there.
DD
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,019
Hey Serenidad
Its Saturday morning here but my Friday was another peaceful evening with my family. We watched a movie and relaxed in each other's company. I wouldn't ever trade that for a night of 'excitement', ie, drunken disaster
. And its a complete myth that folks are out in bars and clubs having a whale of a time (especially in winter here) ! As I go to my favourite cafe and bakery, I am reminded that those folks woke up at 3am to prepare !
Relax, read a book, watch a movie, or simply stare at the night sky with all its beauty.
Its Saturday morning here but my Friday was another peaceful evening with my family. We watched a movie and relaxed in each other's company. I wouldn't ever trade that for a night of 'excitement', ie, drunken disaster
. And its a complete myth that folks are out in bars and clubs having a whale of a time (especially in winter here) ! As I go to my favourite cafe and bakery, I am reminded that those folks woke up at 3am to prepare !Relax, read a book, watch a movie, or simply stare at the night sky with all its beauty.
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