My mind is made up
 

I'm sick of drinking every day.
I get up. I got to work and as soon as I get home, I drink 9-12 pints of beer.

I am so sick of it and I have decided I don't want to do it any more.

I feel so alone and I need help.

CP

Welcome to SR! You are never alone here. :)

CP, True - you're never alone - there's always someone here 24/7 to listen & care.

Welcome to SR - we're so glad to have you with us. I felt just like you when I finally quit. I was even drinking all day in the end. It was stealing my soul. It's wonderful to be free. You can do it.

I can't give you much advice since this is only my day two, but I will tell you that we're glad to have you and are here to listen and support you through your journey.

Thank you all for the kind words.
I'm at the point right now where I feel as thought I spend half of my life alone.
My wife has a chronic illness and is out a lot of the time.

I feel like I started drinking so much to just ease the pain of having to deal with her illness.
Now, it's just me drinking to drink-I want to stop. I feel trapped.

Welcome to the site. We understand. My depression and anxiety have completely gone away now that I don't drink any more. The problems that do come up are manageable without the crushing burden of alcohol.

Keep coming back - I hope you find time to talk with us and read around the site.

Welcome cp4eva.

Welcome! :) We have a lot of support here. I hope we can help you get sober for good. :)

Welcome!

Thank you for the welcome and kind words, all.
I had poured out the remain beers in my fridge before I posted this thread and made it through the night.

There is a better way of life and you've just taken the first steps toward living it. Congrats on joining us and on pouring out the beer. There is a ton of great wisdom and support to be found here, cp4eva. Hope you'll became an active member here.

Good for you taking that first step, post often and enjoy sobriety!

It seems that for the last year or so, I go to bed saying that this is the last day I will drink and I will not buy any more tomorrow.

I found myself thinking about buying some after work today, so I hunted down the nears AA group and I've decided to start AA today after work.

Excellent idea, cp4eva. When I finally quit, I went to an AA meeting on my third day. I was a mess, lol. Then I went back every day for the first four months. AA is a great way to put you back on your feet.

We are here, and we're all thrilled for you that you've decided to pour out the beer and make a new start.

Just don't pick up that first drink - no matter what! Go to bed sober tonight. You'll never be sorry for not drinking.

Welcome and it sounds like you have a good plan. Breaking routines in the early days was really helpful for me. I shopped in different stores and drove home from work via a different route. I started going out after supper (the tough time for me) and walking for miles.

Have faith that you can do this!

Good for you for finding an AA meeting. Use every tool at your disposal, including SR. We all know what you are going through and are here to support you.
You can do this; just take it one day at a time..
Best of luck to you

Well done on dumping the beer and for looking up AA to deal with those after work cravings. Breaking the after work routine was so important when I stopped.

It's lonely sometimes when a partner has a chronic illness. What do you do to take care of yourself? Welcome to SR.

Congrats & welcome Cp

On day 1 myself here mate and have had similar thoughts. We can get through this

3 and a half hours until I'm off for the day and I'm feeling the cravings BIG TIME.

I was telling myself it won't hurt to have a couple of beers after work.
I know it WON'T be a couple.