Why didn't I pour it down the drain?
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: rockville
Posts: 126
Faker, there's some good advice in this thread already. If you simply can't resist buying bottle of wine at the grocery store then you have to stay completely out for at least a week. Make a complete list and shop for a week. If your State is like most, there is a window of prohibited sales every day. Usually the wee hours until 6-7am. Go to the store when you can't legally buy.
The process of quitting requires masterful routine changes and being thoughtful about every moment of the day. Putting yourself in an at risk situation (especially early in the process) really skews the odds the wrong way. It's best to take the 100% odds bet and avoid the situation completely when possible.
Maybe bring your kids with you to the store if you have to go during alcohol hours? I think I remember you saying your kids don't know that you drink. Pretty easy not to buy when there are important witnesses in your company.
The process of quitting requires masterful routine changes and being thoughtful about every moment of the day. Putting yourself in an at risk situation (especially early in the process) really skews the odds the wrong way. It's best to take the 100% odds bet and avoid the situation completely when possible.
Maybe bring your kids with you to the store if you have to go during alcohol hours? I think I remember you saying your kids don't know that you drink. Pretty easy not to buy when there are important witnesses in your company.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Wa
Posts: 93
Wonderful, wonderful advice from all around. Thank you to all. Today is the last day of school and I will have all four kiddos home 24/7. Though the stress level rises at home with all 4 home all day, I am looking forward to it. Less time alone, more accountability, no trips to the grocery alone. I agree that a once a week shop with a list and my husband and kids is a necessary step for at least the next month. Then I'll reacess. I finally said the words "I'm an alcoholic" last night to my husband. I feel shame, but more relief. We've been through everything together since 9th grade and I knew I wasn't going to face this for real until I faced it with him. 35 years of never drinking and feeling proud that I escaped my family's curse of addiction. One wine and cheese party with a new friend at the age of 35 and down the path I went. 5 years ago I was running full and half marathons and eating well. Now I'm 30 pound overweight and have no energy. Ready to come back to myself!
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: canberra act
Posts: 42
For what it's worth I used to do groceries Friday nights and would get tripped up every time by the beer Isle. I worked out that groceries in the morning meant no craving or desire as it was outside my drinking time. I try to keep short cutting my alcohol voice in ways like this. I know its hard when you're busy with kids etc. I guess as many adjustments you make to get alcohol, you can make just as many obstacles to prevent it. Make a plan in the am when your resolve is strong. Tipping the wine out is good too I started to feel just too ridiculous linning up in the PM to buy exactly what I poured down the sink just a few hours earlier!
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Originally Posted by Dharma33 
Yes, yes, yes- ladies, I am right there with you!! My wine affair was very similar.
Faker, I broke up with red wine 32 days ago. The first week was a struggle. Not because of physical withdrawals, but mentally having to re-train myself to not have that glass in my hand. For years I tried to moderate, a glass or two- then I will stop. That rarely happened, and if it did- the process was exhausting to me when my only goal was to drink every last drop within sight.
Over all those years, I lost myself, who I really am. I've functioned as a mom, wife, stand-up member of the community. With the hangovers, the guilt, shame and general weight off of my shoulders I am so much better at everything I do. It is said a lot, but it is true- it gets so much better with a little time. I laugh, smile, and enjoy moments I only thought were possible with a buzz. And time with my kids? Awesome.
LOL Ruby- quinoa at 7pm? Oh yeah- I always had an emergency grocery run, too! Every.Single.Day. But now I am free. I don't have to pretend to be having a dinner party, choosing reds to go with a made up dish I was making that weekend. (Party of one!) I don't have to worry about rotating stores or cashiers so that no one will 'know'. I don't have to hide the empty bottle of wine I already downed from my husband so he will think I am having my first glass with him. Freedom.
You can do this, Faker! (You don't have to be a faker any more- you can be real and true)! There is a lot of support here. Welcome!
Faker, I broke up with red wine 32 days ago. The first week was a struggle. Not because of physical withdrawals, but mentally having to re-train myself to not have that glass in my hand. For years I tried to moderate, a glass or two- then I will stop. That rarely happened, and if it did- the process was exhausting to me when my only goal was to drink every last drop within sight.
Over all those years, I lost myself, who I really am. I've functioned as a mom, wife, stand-up member of the community. With the hangovers, the guilt, shame and general weight off of my shoulders I am so much better at everything I do. It is said a lot, but it is true- it gets so much better with a little time. I laugh, smile, and enjoy moments I only thought were possible with a buzz. And time with my kids? Awesome.
LOL Ruby- quinoa at 7pm? Oh yeah- I always had an emergency grocery run, too! Every.Single.Day. But now I am free. I don't have to pretend to be having a dinner party, choosing reds to go with a made up dish I was making that weekend. (Party of one!) I don't have to worry about rotating stores or cashiers so that no one will 'know'. I don't have to hide the empty bottle of wine I already downed from my husband so he will think I am having my first glass with him. Freedom.
You can do this, Faker! (You don't have to be a faker any more- you can be real and true)! There is a lot of support here. Welcome!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: SC
Posts: 34
I'm so with you!! I'm only a few days in because I went to the grocery store and went right for the beer. I knew I was there for it. I knew I shouldn't, but I did it anyway. The bananas and milk were just a cover. I also used to drink wine and I thought that it was better to switch to beer because there in only one bottle. You know .. a limited amount instead of "Wow .. I drank all of that??" It didn't help. I switched to a beer with a higher alcohol content... and then moved to taking swigs from my husbands too when he wasn't looking... then moved to having 2... then to drinking one before he got home to pretend to have the 1st with him... to having 3 or 4 night! The scheming and mental mind games suck! Anyway .. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in. I have a beautiful, picture perfect life. The house, the husband, the kids. No one knows the inner struggle. I'm just now telling my husband how much of a problem it is. He doesn't get it yet and I pray he doesn't have to! I'm trying to figure out how to manage dinner time/crazy hour at my house without a drink in hand. Sigh... I too have to avoid the grocery store before dinner time and get a plan. It's nice to see I'm not alone. Nice but not nice .. ya know? Anyway, I pray each one of us can get through the next 24 hours .. and the next .. and the next...
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: southeastern USA
Posts: 310
Originally Posted by daz135
For what it's worth I used to do groceries Friday nights and would get tripped up every time by the beer Isle. I worked out that groceries in the morning meant no craving or desire as it was outside my drinking time. I try to keep short cutting my alcohol voice in ways like this. I know its hard when you're busy with kids etc. I guess as many adjustments you make to get alcohol, you can make just as many obstacles to prevent it. Make a plan in the am when your resolve is strong. Tipping the wine out is good too I started to feel just too ridiculous linning up in the PM to buy exactly what I poured down the sink just a few hours earlier!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Wa
Posts: 93
ForHim, definately not alone. And it is nice, but not nice. I totally agree. So much of the beginning was just routine and habit. Now it is mind games, hiding and hoping nobody notices I have a real problem. I just admitted to my husband that I have a big problem. Here's to the next sober 24 hours.
Ishallnotwant, congrats on the 42. Hope changing up the routine helps make it easier.
Ishallnotwant, congrats on the 42. Hope changing up the routine helps make it easier.
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