I am sorry to say...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
I am sorry to say...
Most of you have been supportive, but then there is the "lunatic fringe" who want to second guess and dismiss my version of things. It makes me NUTS. I don't want to spend my energy defending my version of things to people who AREN'T THERE!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,366
I read the thread. I'm sorry if you feel people are second guessing you. I think they are trying to help you more than anything. Stay strong. Sorry you're upset.
I hope things work out the way you want. 😉
I hope things work out the way you want. 😉
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Hi Art...I do get what you're saying. I actually just noted over on another thread my resonance with your frustrations, as I too am going through something similar.
More and more, I've been reflecting - over a few years now - how curious it is that us alcoholics / addicts are seemingly 'not supposed to' get riled about poor service or being mucked about by various health providers. Yet, with almost all other health / medical issues, people are understanding; e.g. if someone has some serious disease like cancer, MS, requires surgery, etc etc, such a long list alas...and their treatment options becomes some additionally fraught process, then no one is particularly surprised if that patient gets upset about it. There is certainly not the same kind of underlying implication that 'well, you should be thinking better about this'.
In those scenarios, it's considered quite reasonable for that patient to complain or at the very least, to lodge their dissatisfaction through whatever formal or informal channels. And thereby to hopefully get a bit more action. So they can get the help they need, sooner rather than later. And I say this, knowing full well how convoluted and disjointed so many of our health services are - in Aus, the US, the UK etc. So I know - on that level - some of the limits of what we can achieve in terms of timely service.
But, I still believe it's inappropriate that in general, the AOD sectors still carry that subtle characterisation of their 'client / patient' base. As 'difficult', and so on and so on.
Plenty here would disagree with me, but that's how I see it, and have experienced it. It's so not helpful.
More and more, I've been reflecting - over a few years now - how curious it is that us alcoholics / addicts are seemingly 'not supposed to' get riled about poor service or being mucked about by various health providers. Yet, with almost all other health / medical issues, people are understanding; e.g. if someone has some serious disease like cancer, MS, requires surgery, etc etc, such a long list alas...and their treatment options becomes some additionally fraught process, then no one is particularly surprised if that patient gets upset about it. There is certainly not the same kind of underlying implication that 'well, you should be thinking better about this'.
In those scenarios, it's considered quite reasonable for that patient to complain or at the very least, to lodge their dissatisfaction through whatever formal or informal channels. And thereby to hopefully get a bit more action. So they can get the help they need, sooner rather than later. And I say this, knowing full well how convoluted and disjointed so many of our health services are - in Aus, the US, the UK etc. So I know - on that level - some of the limits of what we can achieve in terms of timely service.
But, I still believe it's inappropriate that in general, the AOD sectors still carry that subtle characterisation of their 'client / patient' base. As 'difficult', and so on and so on.
Plenty here would disagree with me, but that's how I see it, and have experienced it. It's so not helpful.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
There are those people in life, ArtFriend. It used to really bother me here on this site. I had to somehow get over it, that is, if I wanted to keep getting good feedback. I learned here at SR over a few years that I will need to continue putting myself out there in order to get the good feedback - even if that means putting up with some bad feedback. And by bad, I mean "off the mark" or whatever you want to call it. And I'm sure I'm guilty of giving "off the mark" or bad feedback at some point as well 
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Hey Art, I just took a read on your other thread and it looked like 95% of the comments were ultra-supportive! I think the other 5% just wanted to make sure you don't completely ditch the recovery option because of the bad experience. Sure sounds like you ran into a lemon at your appointment, sorry about that.
Many of us have been there. I waited in line at 6am outside a crappy office park in the rain so I could get an assessment, and was finally seen hours later. The assessment took place in a cluttered and very small office and the counselor called me "delusional" and said I had a real problem. Nothing about this "professional assessment" matched what I had pictured in my mind, and I was so damn ticked off that I almost ran straight to the airport to fly away.
I'm glad I didn't run away, because that assessment helped me get into Inpatient Treatment where I learned some tools to get my life on the right track. We don't want you to run away either. It's super scary, and hard to go through alone. It's especially hard when we push help away for years, and when you finally ask for it....it turns into even more pain. It hurts, and I can feel your hurt also in your posts. I think we all just want you to stick with it - keep sharing, keep blowing off steam, whatever you need to do we are here to listen. Just stick with it. This was just one rough day, you are learning the ropes and you can use this experience to make your next appointment a better one
Many of us have been there. I waited in line at 6am outside a crappy office park in the rain so I could get an assessment, and was finally seen hours later. The assessment took place in a cluttered and very small office and the counselor called me "delusional" and said I had a real problem. Nothing about this "professional assessment" matched what I had pictured in my mind, and I was so damn ticked off that I almost ran straight to the airport to fly away.
I'm glad I didn't run away, because that assessment helped me get into Inpatient Treatment where I learned some tools to get my life on the right track. We don't want you to run away either. It's super scary, and hard to go through alone. It's especially hard when we push help away for years, and when you finally ask for it....it turns into even more pain. It hurts, and I can feel your hurt also in your posts. I think we all just want you to stick with it - keep sharing, keep blowing off steam, whatever you need to do we are here to listen. Just stick with it. This was just one rough day, you are learning the ropes and you can use this experience to make your next appointment a better one
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
I know you're upset AF and I'm sorry.
I agree with BigS's assessment tho
Everyone wants to see you do well AF - I promise
D
I agree with BigS's assessment tho
it looked like 95% of the comments were ultra-supportive! I think the other 5% just wanted to make sure you don't completely ditch the recovery option because of the bad experience.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Artfriend, I know you have an issue with someone else's post but I saw a bit differently. What I took away from DD's post was that this process is about Artfriend and getting you better. It was a bad experience and I'd be upset too. BUT, Its time to become a little selfish and get the help you want and need. What happened is to you is not right, but I wouldn't lose a minutes sleep over it. Instead I would already be channeling my energy forward and thinking ahead about finding another facility that WILL be on time and WANTS to help you. Its just my opinion.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by ArtFriend 
Most of you have been supportive, but then there is the "lunatic fringe" who want to second guess and dismiss my version of things. It makes me NUTS. I don't want to spend my energy defending my version of things to people who AREN'T THERE!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Originally Posted by bemyself
More and more, I've been reflecting - over a few years now - how curious it is that us alcoholics / addicts are seemingly 'not supposed to' get riled about poor service or being mucked about by various health providers. Yet, with almost all other health / medical issues, people are understanding; e.g. if someone has some serious disease like cancer, MS, requires surgery, etc etc, such a long list alas...and their treatment options becomes some additionally fraught process, then no one is particularly surprised if that patient gets upset about it. There is certainly not the same kind of underlying implication that 'well, you should be thinking better about this'.
In those scenarios, it's considered quite reasonable for that patient to complain or at the very least, to lodge their dissatisfaction through whatever formal or informal channels. And thereby to hopefully get a bit more action. So they can get the help they need, sooner rather than later. And I say this, knowing full well how convoluted and disjointed so many of our health services are - in Aus, the US, the UK etc. So I know - on that level - some of the limits of what we can achieve in terms of timely service.
But, I still believe it's inappropriate that in general, the AOD sectors still carry that subtle characterisation of their 'client / patient' base. As 'difficult', and so on and so on.
Plenty here would disagree with me, but that's how I see it, and have experienced it. It's so not helpful.
There are good healthy positive ways to deal with those kind of white hot emotions. Exercise works pretty well for me when nothing else does.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
Good morning peeps. Sorry I got so upset last night. I am dealing with some additional stuff that doesn't involve what happened yesterday. But it all got wound up in a neat little angry ball last. night.
Thanks again for the support and kind words.
We are flooding down in Texas AGAIN! Thanks to Mr. Bill the tropical depression.
Thanks again for the support and kind words.
We are flooding down in Texas AGAIN! Thanks to Mr. Bill the tropical depression.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
One thing I have discovered in sobriety is that it is a lot more fun to have resentments about people places and things than it is to work on the numerous problems in my life.
Hell hath no fury like an alcoholic with a legitimate gripe.
No one ever. Said the world is just or fair so I accept that and control how I react to it
Hell hath no fury like an alcoholic with a legitimate gripe.
No one ever. Said the world is just or fair so I accept that and control how I react to it
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