Serenidad

I'm so glad you got through the day! That is amazing! You jumped right back on the horse and this time I am willing to bet you will NOT get off! PM me again anytime. :-)

SnoozyQ

You guys are wonderful .

Yes painterw . I'm very lucky indeed . I have met some truly wonderful lifelong friends on SR.
The thing is , we become so familiar with the names , the pictures etc that we really do feel like we are in a family here.

I loved reading your post. It made so much sense to me , every single line of it.

I really , truly thought I could just have 1 beer with my 2 sisters . I wanted to have that feeling of laughing and joking without actually being drunk.

Just one , that was all.
But , it never just 1 is it. A couple of days later I pushed it by thinking , whoa , well that was easy , look how good I was .
3 beers or so .....and do it goes.
I've definitely learned something from this & loved your sign off lol .....

Something may be gainin' on Ya , I will sure keep that in mind

Thanks so much :-) xxx

Anna

It sounds like you're feeling a bit better, Snoozy! I'm glad.

Think positively and know you can get past this.

wpainterw

Snoozy: Good for you. You're off and running. Satchel Paige actually said, "Don't look back...." Bad advice for an alcoholic being stalked by an AV! In that case, it's the old tiger hunter's advice to watch what's just over your shoulder. I read about a famous one who was stalking a man eating tiger, or thought he was stalking one, in India. All of a sudden he got a creepy feeling and, looking back over his shoulder, he saw the tiger sitting on a rock a few feet away and getting ready to spring. So be careful if you think you're keeping tabs on your AV. It's probably keeping tabs on you and watching for an opening. Very patient, the AV is. It pays to be a bit paranoid because, as they say, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get ya! Better be paranoid and sober than paranoid and drunk!

W.

Hevyn

Happy to read your upbeat post, Snoozy my dear.

SnoozyQ

Sorry everyone :-( I thought I had it , but I really don't. This was going to be my alarm post to pull me into gear and be accountable to myself.

I drank again

All I know is that I don't know ANYTHING!
I just had 3 glasses of wine and felt like there is nothing better in the world

I have work in the morning , I really MUST STOP .

I'm so sorry as I don't want to make people falter as I have cos truly , I am just going to HATE myself in the morning.
I am going to feel sick , I am going to be remorseful ,

What the hell is happening to me . I need & want to get out of this spin I am in.

I know I will die if I drink again, so how can someone with a little intelligence be so FRIGGEN dumb !!!

:-((((((

This is exhausting , this mental thing going on with myself since I took that first stupid half a beer ! Idiot !!!!

Gilmer

I'm sorry, Snooz.

If you have alcohol in the house, dump it--or have somebody else dump it. Put on your bathrobe so you will be deterred from going out to get it!

venuscat

You are dealing with the cravings all over again.
It has nothing to do with intelligence love.
You need a solid plan here...as Gilmer said, first dump the alcohol.
Talk to someone who can help you stay accountable; is your husband home love?

And then tomorrow, perhaps talk to a drug and alcohol counsellor.
Or you can even do that tonight if you want to.
I will find you the number...

Maybe it would help to add meetings to your plan.
Being around others in recovery really helps.

We love you. ♥

mecanix

With me snoozy 3 glasses of wine a night lead eventually back to 3 bottles a night .

I remember knowing i shouldn't do it but my foot was stamping on that go pedal , and i'd make up stories like
"oh this is incase anyone pops round"
"better buy 5 as they are on offer and will stock the wine rack nicely and look pretty "

I hope you come back to wanting to be sober more than a short term buzz and the misery it causes , it will cause misery eventually , it's a depressant and it will effect your mood for quite a while untill it's long and deadly claws are out of you .
Maybe you need to get the Dr onboard and support of other alcoholics f2f as you don't want this to drag on yer ?

m

venuscat

I found the number...and I am going to text it to you as well love.

ADIS ~ Alcohol and Drug Information Services.
8.30am - 10pm every day

1300 131 340

I love you sweetheart.

Mags1

Hi snoozy, sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch.

You can beat this. You've got the tools, kick its ass.

I can relate, though, I'm thinking sometimes 'I've beat it, I'm in control, I think I'm kidding myself, I don't think I'll ever beat it and never ever be in control, if I drink. The I kick its ass.

Love to you, friend x

Jeni26

Hi my lovely, you know where I am.

Alcohol has got you in its grip again. This disease lies to us, you are very vulnerable right now. Phone that number V gave you. You may need a bit more than just SR this time.

I got back up again, and so can you xx

SnoozyQ

I phoned thr number V gave me and had a wonderful conversation. Love you Venus xxxx =^..^=

venuscat

Love you too Snoozy... ♥♥♥

Hope you rest well and have a good day tomorrow.

wpainterw

Snoozy: Sorry to hear this. You said you "drank again". But you didn't say why you drank? What led to your drinking? You said it made you feel good. Maybe it did for a half hour or so but what happened then? I'll bet the "feel horrible" now far outweighs the "feel good". A bad bargain indeed! Aside from the various emergency measures already suggested (throwing out the booze, etc., getting in touch with a doctor, other recovering alcoholics, a counselor, etc..) you might try to think about what led to your resuming drinking and guard against it like I suggested in a previous post. You indicate that you feel you are out of control. You are never out of control in the sense that if you really want to stop, if you really want sobriety, you can reach out for it, perhaps admit that you can't do it alone, that you need help. You are in control in the sense that you can get help if you really want it. It's up to you. Not getting help leads to a downward spiral and you will suffer more and more. Are you ready for this? Say you're ready, please, and keep logging on to this website. Good luck. Every good wish to you. You sound like a wonderful person, a nice person. Do yourself a favor.

W.

wpainterw

P.S. It looks to me like there's something going on here that bears looking into. You had a period of sobriety. Then you start to drink again and now you say you're out of control. Maybe a good counselor can help you sort this out. It's not like just falling off a bike. At least if you ride a bike for several months you don't just fall off suddenly for no reason. You had some sobriety built up I gather. Now suddenly you start to drink again. Why? And how can you protect yourself from its happening another time?
First thing is to quit drinking right now and put yourself in a position where you will not suddenly relapse again. Throw out the booze, etc. Second, seek help, whatever it takes. And realize how very vulnerable you are. Your body wants the alcohol. Until it readjusts you are very vulnerable and your AV will jerk you around any way it can. You can do this. Others have. You can too.

W.

Kylie9

I love this! I

SnoozyQ

I don't know why , sorry

SnoozyQ

Painterw, I don't know why , I just don't know why, I can't explain it , I'm trying to decipher the norms . I just drank cos I wanted it , I can't make excuses , I really wanted it ! There is no other explanation . I just need help at this point , I know where this is going :/

Soberwolf

(((((Snooz)))))