Jalana

Thank you... I told my family I'm going to move out and it's going to be at the end of the month. I don't know if I'm making the wrong decision or not... I'm nervous about it... And it's expensive for rent so I have to find a second job asap since I've only got two shifts this week... So it's gonna be either sink or swim from here.
The only other option I have is to leave completely and move in with a family member 15 hours away in a new city... It's an even more drastic change but she said that she can get me a regular job working at the post office out there. I'm just starting to make a couple of friends here and I've only been in this city for a few months now. It would be hard to uproot again and leave. I'm still trying to make different friends here that don't use... I've managed to meet people who do and maybe that's part of the reason I'm in this boat.
Anyway I know stopping drinking is the first step but there's so many unknowns in my life I just feel lost about where to go from here.

Jalana

Well today sucks. I'm feeling lazy and sluggish and unmotivated and low about myself and anxious. I have been trying to find a room to rent for a decent price... And so far I haven't received any responses back. I posted an ad looking for a room and have thus far elicited two weird sexual responses telling me I have a place to live if I can do something in exchange. Gross how can people think like that? I realized even if I move in with the girl I work with who is overcharging I can't really even afford it at the moment. When I started my job my boss said she would be able to give me 3-4 shifts a week. This week I have two shifts and 12 hours of work making less than minimum wage.
Life sucks sometimes.
I have to clean the house I don't even want to move I want to lay in bed and cry until I fall asleep but I'm fighting back the tears. I pray to god I just stop using. I pray that I can figure it all out. The ups and downs are hard.

Soberwolf

Really sorry you had to experience that Jalana hopefully youl find somewhere nice to rent very soon if you ever want to talk drop me a msg

((((((((((Jalana))))))))))

thomas11

Hi Jalana, you didn't get to this point overnight (none of us did) and it won't get resolved overnight. You sound on the right track. Personally, I wouldn't eliminate the option of moving 15 hrs away and getting a job at the post office. You'll get a decent job, maybe benefits etc...also, getting sober usually means being a little selfish because your main focus is on yourself. But its imperative. It sounds like you are in a bad place, at least that the perception I get from your posts, and I feel for ya. Just keep grinding away. It has its rewards.

kittycat3

Have you considered staying where you are at and going to a treatment programme? It really helped me to get my recovery on track, ya know?

Berrybean

I agree with KC. I go to AA, and can't describe how great it is to meet up and talk with people who understand me. People who have walked my path ahead of me and give me their strength and hope. People who can take one look and know when I'm not 'fine' and when they ask "How are you?" don't just want that reply - they want to know if not and why not. Somewhere to sit and listen , and often hear just what I needed at that moment. I have also met people who I really like, and who are becoming real friends. People who DO want to do sober stuff. Who I can let my guard down with, knowing that they won't judge me.

There is a big difference between getting sober, and recovery. You deserve both. Please reach out and take some of the other support that is in your area (as well as using Sober recovery, of course ).

Keep posting x