I'm in trouble
Hopeful
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 140
I'm in trouble
Hi. I'm back. Last fall i went 44 days sober. I had major knee replacement surgery in November and it was awful. I stayed sober for a while but then I started drinking again. I know that I'm in trouble. My son doesn't even want to talk to me. My daughter is cautious but still open to me. My husband wants me to keep drinking because I'm more sexual when I drink. I don't like me. I don't want to drink anymore. I want to be in control of what is happening around me, I have recently been diagnosed with PTSD from multiple traumas/deaths in my near circles. I just want to be better.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,433
I moved your thread to Newcomers forum for more response Jeremiah 
do you have any kind of plan for getting sober?
Posting more here will help. Seeing your Dr ius probably a good idea is you've been drinking for a while too.
Do you have any real life support, or just SR?
D
do you have any kind of plan for getting sober?
Posting more here will help. Seeing your Dr ius probably a good idea is you've been drinking for a while too.
Do you have any real life support, or just SR?
D
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Jeremiah2911, welcome back! I suggest sticking close here and getting involved. This place has been vital in my early recovery.
Did you talk to your doctors who diagnosed PTSD about your drinking problems as well?
Did you talk to your doctors who diagnosed PTSD about your drinking problems as well?
Humanoid thing
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 87
Congrats on the 44days sober
I'm curious to know whether if your husband didn't want you to drink would you have remained sober. I know this may not be very constructive but he sounds extremely selfish and is contributing significantly to your destruction. I think you need to be more selfish to your needs.
I'm curious to know whether if your husband didn't want you to drink would you have remained sober. I know this may not be very constructive but he sounds extremely selfish and is contributing significantly to your destruction. I think you need to be more selfish to your needs.
Hopeful
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 140
Oh, my. You have really nailed it. He won't admit it and says he wants to "help" me but the truth is, he wants me to be "fun" (translation-drunk). He loves his beer and doesn't want to drink alone. I have to be selfish now and take care of me.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,717
Hello, and Welcome! I know what you mean about being "fun". I struggle with having "fun" because one of my triggers is seeing fun times and alcohol together. It's not true and you really need support and someone on you side to begin to enjoy good times without having to drink. Sober life is fun...real life fun because the real you is present. Stay strong and be selfish because you need to take care of yourself first.
Keep posting! ♡CR
Keep posting! ♡CR
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
J, welcome back and glad you are here with us.Tough spot you're in. I'm in the same boat to some extent... My wife still drinks. She has accepted that she's lost her drinking buddy in me but it took a lot of time for her to realize it is for good.
My first attempt at sobriety was tough in that she didn't understand and was actually hurt that I would abandon our lifestyle. I can't blame her, that's what we had been accustomed to since we met over 17 years ago.
Eventually she began to realize that I truly needed to stop and she accepted it and now supports my decision. Although, she still drinks, she understands that it isn't an option for me... not today, tomorrow or ever.
You are strong enough to make this change for you. Bottom line is that everyone else will benefit from the effort you put into your sobriety; especially you.
You can only control you. It sounds like you are ready to get your life back. It's within your grasp, you just have to dig deep and give it everything you have. Trust me, you won't regret this decision.
Lean on us as much as you can. It definitely helped me knowing I wasn't alone in this fight.
My first attempt at sobriety was tough in that she didn't understand and was actually hurt that I would abandon our lifestyle. I can't blame her, that's what we had been accustomed to since we met over 17 years ago.
Eventually she began to realize that I truly needed to stop and she accepted it and now supports my decision. Although, she still drinks, she understands that it isn't an option for me... not today, tomorrow or ever.
You are strong enough to make this change for you. Bottom line is that everyone else will benefit from the effort you put into your sobriety; especially you.
You can only control you. It sounds like you are ready to get your life back. It's within your grasp, you just have to dig deep and give it everything you have. Trust me, you won't regret this decision.
Lean on us as much as you can. It definitely helped me knowing I wasn't alone in this fight.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40
oh my goodness.... Please remember that your husbands insecurities are what cause him to put you in a position where you feel devalued if you stop being his drinking buddy... Whether you fit some idealized over-sexualized fantasy of his or not, you're still a wonderful, valuable individual worthy of unconditional love and worthy of sobriety and support in the journey towards sobriety. I can see that this makes you feel conflicted and can't imagine what that feels like 
please reach out for support... We are all here for you!
please reach out for support... We are all here for you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Welcome back. You absolutely can get sober regardless of whether your husband does or not. I've managed to get and stay sober despite my husbands continued drinking shenanigans. I can't tell you it will be a piece of cake. It has added challenges, but it can be done. You are worth it. You are strong. You are reaching out for help. That speaks volumes. Build an army of support, here and in real life. They can help carry you when you feel you can't do it. I come here. I have AA friends and super supportive, long time friends. It is worth it.
Hopeful
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 140
I'm almost through a full 24 hours and I am going to make it. I am trying not to think way out there and stay in the "here and now" but I admit it's a struggle. I'm trying to figure out how to live different-how to find new things to occupy my evenings and ways to avoid the things that I used to do that centered around drinking. It feels like I have to change everything and I'm not sure where to begin or how to do it. Pretty overwhelming. Anyone have ideas for me?
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