Shalaylay

I have always thought/known I have struggled with alcohol and being a bartender does not help. I have officially hit bottom and I need help. I need to figure out how to live sober. I can't continue to put myself in dangerous situations and continue to throw my life away. I want to change, I need to change, I just don't know how to change. Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm at my lowest point and I feel broken.

Hopeless1978

Hi! Keep coming here and you'll get so much support to help you on your journey! For me, I never thought I would be here, where I am, but I was ready! It's now over a month and I'm so proud of myself! I'm not saying it's easy, but it's what I needed to do! Good luck to you! xxxx

SereneEdition

Hi Shalaylay -

Glad that you are here.

Most of us start by 'not picking up no matter what' and focusing on just one day at a time. Having a 'plan' for what what we will do different instead of drinking for each of our triggers and routines helps greatly.

I was only successful once I put not drinking ahead of every other thing in my life.

You can do it.

least

I had to take drinking off the table no matter what. I started by not drinking one day at a time. No matter what! It takes some effort and changes, but it can be done.

CaseyW

I also work around alcohol so can certainly understand that part of your dilemma. Quitting your job totally might not be an option--I know it wasn't for me--but maybe you could look into moving away from the bar and more into food serving for now? The money can still be very good though not as good as the best bartending jobs but at least you're not constantly smelling and pouring the alcohol hour after hour and also not dealing with near as many of your bar buddies or other drunks.

Wishing you the best! Remember you don't have to take that first drink no matter what. It gets easier with time and some work on yourself.

ccam1973

Welcome to SR Shalaylay.

You've found a great community with a ton of support. When I first decided I needed help and stumbled on this site, I spent days just reading old posts. It made me feel that I wasn't alone in this addiction and that my story is not unusual.

You'll find acceptance and advise here when ever you need.

You've got the power to make this change and take your life back. Lean on us as much as you can.

Nonsensical

It took me (what felt like) a really long time to change. I wanted immediate change and an instantly improved life when I quit drinking. When improvement wasn't instant I would give up hope that it would ever get better, and I would drink again.

Ultimately it was the people here at SR that convinced me to keep working at it. Many of them know exactly what I meant when I would say I hate drinking, but I am irresistibly drawn to it. They told me if I stayed sober my life would get better. They knew what it had been like to be where I was - so I had faith in their advice.

They were right. It gets better. Unbelievably better.

Change is possible.
Hope is reasonable.
Welcome to the fight of your life.
You can do this.

zjw

the easy answer simply do not drink and everything else comes together.

But sadly we love to over complicate it. even if that sounds doable today tommorrow you could be faced with who knows what and start trying to make it more complicated then that.

It actually takes less effort to not do something then it does to do something. But we have short memories etc.. even from one min to the next we can overcomplicate anything or foget it all entirely.

But doing your best to not drink today is a good start.

Anna

We do understand how hard this is.

It's simple, but hard. Stop drinking today. Get rid of the alcohol you have at home. You can live a sober life, and we're here to support you.

Shalaylay

I'm trying to not let the guilt that I have hanging over me consume me today but I'm struggling. I feel disgusting. I'm so upset with myself and I don't know how to move forward. I want to crawl out of my skin. I'm a mess and I can't stop hating myself. I literally want to die. I'm so upset with myself. I don't know what to do.

Nonsensical

Yes you do, that's why you're here.

You know the answer is to find your way to a sober life. You might not have all the answers, but you have that one. On day one, that's enough.

You drank a depressant yesterday and today you feel depressed. That's pretty normal. Don't drink any more of it and see how you feel tomorrow.

And that voice in your head that's telling you you can't do it or it's not worth it or just one more day is quite familiar to most of us. It is a liar and a thief. Don't believe it for one second.

You can do this.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Shalaylay!!

For me good intentions only got me soo far, what seemed to work better was my decision making, what activities to get involved in, what people to hang out with, where and with whom I went during my days, weeks, weekends etc.

If I could stay as far away from alcohol as possible for the majority of my time then Sobriety might stick, and it did, as I created new habits, a new lifestyle that pushed alcohol to the fringes of my life!!

You can do this!!