Some people have it easy...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi!
i understand your frustration.
I have a neurological disorder that affects my intellect. I don't even know what the bricks look like to pave the road much less the golden ones.
i also have to plot my own points, and have struggled my entire life to do so.
I am glad that you do see your worth and I believe you will find success and as far as i have read and heard, it's the atypical or road less taken that leads to more exceptional results.
Hang in there and try for sobriety, something in your post tells me you have what it takes.
i understand your frustration.
I have a neurological disorder that affects my intellect. I don't even know what the bricks look like to pave the road much less the golden ones.
i also have to plot my own points, and have struggled my entire life to do so.
I am glad that you do see your worth and I believe you will find success and as far as i have read and heard, it's the atypical or road less taken that leads to more exceptional results.
Hang in there and try for sobriety, something in your post tells me you have what it takes.
Into the Void
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: California
Posts: 931
Troy,
I've seen you post several times of your resentment toward your family (or at least your brothers) for their success and ready made life conforming to all of society's norms and having all of the tokens and trophies of success. OK, so maybe I can't relate to the experience of growing up gay in small town Texas and how that might make one resentful of the Ken and Barbie straight world, but my thinking is really, who cares about them? You're free, get to travel, are obviously a bright guy and have your own business. Sounds like you should be having fun with your life. As for the lack of formal degrees, again, who cares? From your posts I can tell you clearly have brains. Many studies of self-made millionaires confirm that many successful business owners went to less than prestigious schools or didn't really study and were considered likely to be failures by their teachers and peers. What did they have that others didn't? Tenacity and practical smarts.
Sobriety is your chance to live life the way you want, to become strong, secure and unique. When I was drinking I would accept jobs I hated out of fear and the need to conform. Instead of nursing the resentment against the normal conformists, be glad you don't have to drink, you don't have to conform, you don't have to get married to anyone unless you want to, you don't have to work some soul-destroying corporate job to support your family unless you want to, and you don't have to live in a McMansion in an upscale neighborhood and drive the right car and wear the right clothes to be accepted by people. That "normal" life sounds like slavery to a lot of people.
Just my 2 cents.
I've seen you post several times of your resentment toward your family (or at least your brothers) for their success and ready made life conforming to all of society's norms and having all of the tokens and trophies of success. OK, so maybe I can't relate to the experience of growing up gay in small town Texas and how that might make one resentful of the Ken and Barbie straight world, but my thinking is really, who cares about them? You're free, get to travel, are obviously a bright guy and have your own business. Sounds like you should be having fun with your life. As for the lack of formal degrees, again, who cares? From your posts I can tell you clearly have brains. Many studies of self-made millionaires confirm that many successful business owners went to less than prestigious schools or didn't really study and were considered likely to be failures by their teachers and peers. What did they have that others didn't? Tenacity and practical smarts.
Sobriety is your chance to live life the way you want, to become strong, secure and unique. When I was drinking I would accept jobs I hated out of fear and the need to conform. Instead of nursing the resentment against the normal conformists, be glad you don't have to drink, you don't have to conform, you don't have to get married to anyone unless you want to, you don't have to work some soul-destroying corporate job to support your family unless you want to, and you don't have to live in a McMansion in an upscale neighborhood and drive the right car and wear the right clothes to be accepted by people. That "normal" life sounds like slavery to a lot of people.
Just my 2 cents.
A simple guy making his way
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Hey Troy,
Being gay myself I hear what you are saying loud and clear…. What would my life be like had I had all the reassurances and support from everyone around me in all the life choices I made?
High school experiences that enabled me to fall in love freely with my "sweetheart". Instead I suppressed every ounce of emotional and sexual love. My brother could just… Be.
The opportunity to marry and have society celebrate my love with being happy for me. Rooting me on. Marriage for me is only now coming to be. My brother had a ceremony that reinforced that he was normal and I saw people just happy because he was marrying.
College and work life seemed easy for him as he never had to hide. Respected for his fatherhood and being a husband by everyone. While I had to earn every ounce of respect in double time. No wife and kids to validate who I was on the surface.
The opportunity to feel normal in every aspect of life… Freely.
That's not the easy way... It's just one way. And that's not my way.
I learned a lot over my life about what it means to be me. The gay me.
I learned a lot about what it means to see others on their path.
It makes zero sense to covet what we don't necessarily want.
I had to ask myself… Do I want a wife? Hell no. Do I want kids? Not really. Can I make my own career without college. I did and continue doing well. Do I want a house and cars. I earned them and had many.
No one gets out of this life alive. We all have our paths. I cannot follow mine by looking at yours. If I do I will trip. And that's what I did for years as a drunk drug addict.
A straight life is no more easy than a gay life. A gay life is not more difficult than a straight life.
A drunk life is nothing… Gay or straight.
Best of luck to you on this journey.
Ken
Being gay myself I hear what you are saying loud and clear…. What would my life be like had I had all the reassurances and support from everyone around me in all the life choices I made?
High school experiences that enabled me to fall in love freely with my "sweetheart". Instead I suppressed every ounce of emotional and sexual love. My brother could just… Be.
The opportunity to marry and have society celebrate my love with being happy for me. Rooting me on. Marriage for me is only now coming to be. My brother had a ceremony that reinforced that he was normal and I saw people just happy because he was marrying.
College and work life seemed easy for him as he never had to hide. Respected for his fatherhood and being a husband by everyone. While I had to earn every ounce of respect in double time. No wife and kids to validate who I was on the surface.
The opportunity to feel normal in every aspect of life… Freely.
That's not the easy way... It's just one way. And that's not my way.
I learned a lot over my life about what it means to be me. The gay me.
I learned a lot about what it means to see others on their path.
It makes zero sense to covet what we don't necessarily want.
I had to ask myself… Do I want a wife? Hell no. Do I want kids? Not really. Can I make my own career without college. I did and continue doing well. Do I want a house and cars. I earned them and had many.
No one gets out of this life alive. We all have our paths. I cannot follow mine by looking at yours. If I do I will trip. And that's what I did for years as a drunk drug addict.
A straight life is no more easy than a gay life. A gay life is not more difficult than a straight life.
A drunk life is nothing… Gay or straight.
Best of luck to you on this journey.
Ken
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I was talking to this one lady about my cholesterol woes and she stated she's never really had a problem with cholesterol I said really? your so lucky she no I just have cancer. She has since passed but that conversation taught me so much.
Be careful your not complaining about the color of your shoes to the guy who has no feet?
A farmer said to me once you see that field over aint hte grass green!? I said yep sure is! he said yep cause theres more **** over there!
But I know there are some people that do actually seem to have it easy I know what your saying I know a couple people like that. Perhaps thats all they can handle. Perhaps they sadly lack the life expierenc you have. Perhaps you can be there for them when and if there crap storm ever comes?
I got some problems myself and they drive me NUTS but there are a lot of problems I dont have and when i hear about other peoples problems i'm finding i'm more and more thankful for my own.
hang in there.
Be careful your not complaining about the color of your shoes to the guy who has no feet?
A farmer said to me once you see that field over aint hte grass green!? I said yep sure is! he said yep cause theres more **** over there!
But I know there are some people that do actually seem to have it easy I know what your saying I know a couple people like that. Perhaps thats all they can handle. Perhaps they sadly lack the life expierenc you have. Perhaps you can be there for them when and if there crap storm ever comes?
I got some problems myself and they drive me NUTS but there are a lot of problems I dont have and when i hear about other peoples problems i'm finding i'm more and more thankful for my own.
hang in there.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
