Addicted in secret
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: rockville
Posts: 126
Good for you, Faker! My previous quit attempts were half hearted and I failed easily. Then I tried moderation. ha! May as well be a 4 letter word that means awful, unsatisfying, and host of other words the = no fun/no pleasure.
I did the vast majority of my drinking at home. Just like you it seems. You have to get into a routine that is different at home. A routine saved me this go around. Now after nearly a month I'm not struggling at all at home. My daily routine no longer includes drinking so my brain/body no longer "expects it". The urges are much more fleeting and short lived now. Quite manageable.
However, I am in no way ready to face a big test at all. No big get together bbq's with the friends. No group camping trips. No trips to the bar to see my friend's band. No outdoor festivals with beer carts at every corner. I will be able to go there safely in the future. I'm certain of that. But that time is not now. I need a whole lot more to lose than 30 days before testing those waters.
I did the vast majority of my drinking at home. Just like you it seems. You have to get into a routine that is different at home. A routine saved me this go around. Now after nearly a month I'm not struggling at all at home. My daily routine no longer includes drinking so my brain/body no longer "expects it". The urges are much more fleeting and short lived now. Quite manageable.
However, I am in no way ready to face a big test at all. No big get together bbq's with the friends. No group camping trips. No trips to the bar to see my friend's band. No outdoor festivals with beer carts at every corner. I will be able to go there safely in the future. I'm certain of that. But that time is not now. I need a whole lot more to lose than 30 days before testing those waters.
Its a cold and its a broken hallelujah.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,887
Hi Faker !! And welcome to one of the best places you will ever stumble upon. 
I'm the author of that story about two bottles of wine a night. And while I continued to struggle for even a few MORE years after that post, I can happily say, I'm coming up (FINALLY) on 6 months sober.
We are glad to have you here and look forward to sharing in your journey back to your REAL self.
Welcome !!!!
I'm the author of that story about two bottles of wine a night.
And while I continued to struggle for even a few MORE years after that post, I can happily say, I'm coming up (FINALLY) on 6 months sober. We are glad to have you here and look forward to sharing in your journey back to your REAL self.
Welcome !!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Wa
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by alphaomega 
Hi Faker !! And welcome to one of the best places you will ever stumble upon.
I'm the author of that story about two bottles of wine a night. And while I continued to struggle for even a few MORE years after that post, I can happily say, I'm coming up (FINALLY) on 6 months sober.
We are glad to have you here and look forward to sharing in your journey back to your REAL self.
Welcome !!!!
I'm the author of that story about two bottles of wine a night.
And while I continued to struggle for even a few MORE years after that post, I can happily say, I'm coming up (FINALLY) on 6 months sober. We are glad to have you here and look forward to sharing in your journey back to your REAL self.
Welcome !!!!
Your story really hit it home for me. Awesome on 6 months sober! I am so grateful to have found this place of people who understand. Feeling shaky (physically) this morning, but have a firm plan in place for tonight!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Wa
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by MisterChill
Good for you, Faker! My previous quit attempts were half hearted and I failed easily. Then I tried moderation. ha! May as well be a 4 letter word that means awful, unsatisfying, and host of other words the = no fun/no pleasure.
I did the vast majority of my drinking at home. Just like you it seems. You have to get into a routine that is different at home. A routine saved me this go around. Now after nearly a month I'm not struggling at all at home. My daily routine no longer includes drinking so my brain/body no longer "expects it". The urges are much more fleeting and short lived now. Quite manageable.
However, I am in no way ready to face a big test at all. No big get together bbq's with the friends. No group camping trips. No trips to the bar to see my friend's band. No outdoor festivals with beer carts at every corner. I will be able to go there safely in the future. I'm certain of that. But that time is not now. I need a whole lot more to lose than 30 days before testing those waters.
I did the vast majority of my drinking at home. Just like you it seems. You have to get into a routine that is different at home. A routine saved me this go around. Now after nearly a month I'm not struggling at all at home. My daily routine no longer includes drinking so my brain/body no longer "expects it". The urges are much more fleeting and short lived now. Quite manageable.
However, I am in no way ready to face a big test at all. No big get together bbq's with the friends. No group camping trips. No trips to the bar to see my friend's band. No outdoor festivals with beer carts at every corner. I will be able to go there safely in the future. I'm certain of that. But that time is not now. I need a whole lot more to lose than 30 days before testing those waters.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Faker, I was a closet drinker too. I always drank at home, hiding it from my family. At least I hid it until they found out. You are lucky to be aware of your problem now. I was close to losing my family and my health before I stopped drinking. My witching hour was early evening, so I started going out walking and it made a world of difference in so many aspects of my life.
You can do this!
You can do this!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Wa
Posts: 93
So much for plans. Buying an ingredient for dinner and the siren call of the wine section screamed in my head. I bought a bottle of my poison and went home and poured a glass. I took three swallows and then screwed up my courage and dumped the rest of the glass and the bottle down the drain. I so badly want to be sober so I can find myself. I so badly want to be sober so I can enjoy my relationships. I may have to stay away from the grocery store. How can I succeed?
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