Not a newcomer
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
Not a newcomer
I'm so not a newcomer. Been battling this for years. I just can't do this anymore. No I don't have a solid plan. All of my other attempts have failed miserably. I just wanted to check in. I'm here. And I hope that this time I can stay here, in it. Here's to day 1.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Welcome back.
I found a plan essential to my success. The forums here are an excellent resource for ideas that may work for you. There is a sober path for everyone. Find yours!
You can do this!
I found a plan essential to my success. The forums here are an excellent resource for ideas that may work for you. There is a sober path for everyone. Find yours!
You can do this!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Lakeside, Ca
Posts: 10,208
Sounds like you are fed up with drinking.
If you are an alcoholic such as my type (very hard core),
it got to a point in time where booze brought nothing good into my life,
or in the lives of ones close to me.
Make some firm discissions, so as to stay away from the drink.
MM
If you are an alcoholic such as my type (very hard core),
it got to a point in time where booze brought nothing good into my life,
or in the lives of ones close to me.
Make some firm discissions, so as to stay away from the drink.
MM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
I didnt have any fight left in me for booze. I think that helped me to quit go figure.
I find when I dont have much fight left in me I walk away. With booze of course being that its an addiction there was this tug on me and while i was upset to leave the game I just didnt wanna play anymore.
I find when I dont have much fight left in me I walk away. With booze of course being that its an addiction there was this tug on me and while i was upset to leave the game I just didnt wanna play anymore.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi onthrightpath, staying drunk becomes too much work. I can relate. The advice I always try with people on day one is simple, step one, get sober, step two, get through withdrawals if you have any (put life on hold if necessary) then with a clear mind, create the plan etc...at that point use the advice people much smarter than myself offer on this site.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Welcome and glad your back. 
I too failed so many times to stop
drinking poison but always thought
I could control it to only fail miserably
for the umpteenth time during my
drinking career.
It took getting into a horrible accident
in Feb. 1990 at 2 in the morning on my
way back from a nite club, to run off the
road into some road construction less
than a mile away from my little family
hitting a concrete culvert sitting ontop
the ground.
EMS was call, my husband was called
and off to the hospital I went not recalling
my one and only ride in an EMS truck.
I was pretty messed up with numerous
broken ribs with one puncturing my spleen
and lung followed by operations to mend
both so I wouldn't bleed to death.
A 10 day hospital stay and a few months
at home to recover almost perfect with
just the pain pills and no alcohol.
Come August 1990, I thought I could
control my drinking once again and off
to the same club returning home same
time to another horrible argument with
my spouse vowing that that was it and
that I was done and ready to call it quits
on my failure as a wife, mom, drinking.
Then down a handfull of left over pills from
my accident with my remaining alcohol
and on a dare to my spouse that I would
end my life. He chuckled and told me to
go to bed.
The next day my little ones couldn't wake
me for their last day of vacation bible school
then in a far distance I heard the ringing of
the phone which was right near my bed.
I answered with a slurred voice to my
mother in law looking for the kids and
I. She yelled at me to get up and I did
as I staggered to the bathroom to force
myself to throw up all that was in my system.
It wasn't long when my husband and
in laws showed up worried about me.
Out of concern for my mental state,
calls were made looking for help and
direction as to what to do with me.
My husband even tried to haul me to
the car to go to the hospital to have my
stomach pumped but I fought him with
every ounce of strength I had till he loosen
his grip on me.
Finally the officers came on a court order
to take me to the hospital for a mental
evaluation and off I went with hatred
in my voice and daggers in my eyes as I
passed my husband and father in law
saying how much I hated them both as
I was led to a handless back seat of the
police car.
That first night I spent in the mental
hospital full of fear as I watched others
that were sick shuffling across the floors
or hugging the walls by themselves. It
was soooo sad to see them that way and
I thought to myself, surely I wasn't that
sick.
The next day I was tested for my mental
state and I passed. The end results was I had
a drinking problem and off to the rehab
facility upstairs to stay for 2 weeks .
I completed those 2 weeks when they
were ready to ship me off to a halfway
house out of state away from my little
family. Quickly I spoke begging that I
would do whatever I needed to do there
just don't sent me further away from my
babies. Upon agreement I would complete
a 28 instay recovery program with a 6
week outpatient aftercare program in
which I did.
I didn't choose AA but that was what
I was taught to me and I accepted it.
During that rehab stay I was taught the
AA program of recovery consisting of
steps and principles to incorporate in
my everyday life for each day I remained
sober.
That was 24 yrs ago as today I am still
living the AA way of life that was and still
is a gift that keeps on giving for a many one
days at a time ive remain sober.
Since that time, ive remain teachable,
openminded and honest in all my affairs
which keeps me humble and grounded
in life and in all my affairs all to the best
of my human ability.
Recovery life is a blessing that I hold
close to my heart, mind and soul and
will never take it for granted.
Just sharing my own ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what my life was
and is like before, during and after alcohol
with you and others.
I too failed so many times to stop
drinking poison but always thought
I could control it to only fail miserably
for the umpteenth time during my
drinking career.
It took getting into a horrible accident
in Feb. 1990 at 2 in the morning on my
way back from a nite club, to run off the
road into some road construction less
than a mile away from my little family
hitting a concrete culvert sitting ontop
the ground.
EMS was call, my husband was called
and off to the hospital I went not recalling
my one and only ride in an EMS truck.
I was pretty messed up with numerous
broken ribs with one puncturing my spleen
and lung followed by operations to mend
both so I wouldn't bleed to death.
A 10 day hospital stay and a few months
at home to recover almost perfect with
just the pain pills and no alcohol.
Come August 1990, I thought I could
control my drinking once again and off
to the same club returning home same
time to another horrible argument with
my spouse vowing that that was it and
that I was done and ready to call it quits
on my failure as a wife, mom, drinking.
Then down a handfull of left over pills from
my accident with my remaining alcohol
and on a dare to my spouse that I would
end my life. He chuckled and told me to
go to bed.
The next day my little ones couldn't wake
me for their last day of vacation bible school
then in a far distance I heard the ringing of
the phone which was right near my bed.
I answered with a slurred voice to my
mother in law looking for the kids and
I. She yelled at me to get up and I did
as I staggered to the bathroom to force
myself to throw up all that was in my system.
It wasn't long when my husband and
in laws showed up worried about me.
Out of concern for my mental state,
calls were made looking for help and
direction as to what to do with me.
My husband even tried to haul me to
the car to go to the hospital to have my
stomach pumped but I fought him with
every ounce of strength I had till he loosen
his grip on me.
Finally the officers came on a court order
to take me to the hospital for a mental
evaluation and off I went with hatred
in my voice and daggers in my eyes as I
passed my husband and father in law
saying how much I hated them both as
I was led to a handless back seat of the
police car.
That first night I spent in the mental
hospital full of fear as I watched others
that were sick shuffling across the floors
or hugging the walls by themselves. It
was soooo sad to see them that way and
I thought to myself, surely I wasn't that
sick.
The next day I was tested for my mental
state and I passed. The end results was I had
a drinking problem and off to the rehab
facility upstairs to stay for 2 weeks .
I completed those 2 weeks when they
were ready to ship me off to a halfway
house out of state away from my little
family. Quickly I spoke begging that I
would do whatever I needed to do there
just don't sent me further away from my
babies. Upon agreement I would complete
a 28 instay recovery program with a 6
week outpatient aftercare program in
which I did.
I didn't choose AA but that was what
I was taught to me and I accepted it.
During that rehab stay I was taught the
AA program of recovery consisting of
steps and principles to incorporate in
my everyday life for each day I remained
sober.
That was 24 yrs ago as today I am still
living the AA way of life that was and still
is a gift that keeps on giving for a many one
days at a time ive remain sober.
Since that time, ive remain teachable,
openminded and honest in all my affairs
which keeps me humble and grounded
in life and in all my affairs all to the best
of my human ability.
Recovery life is a blessing that I hold
close to my heart, mind and soul and
will never take it for granted.
Just sharing my own ESH - experiences,
strengths and hopes of what my life was
and is like before, during and after alcohol
with you and others.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Originally Posted by ontherightpath 
Been battling this for years. I just can't do this anymore.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,526
Hello ontherightpath - glad you have not given up on wanting to reclaim your life.
I had to be disgusted too - I was drinking every day - totally miserable and exhausted. There was no fun in it anymore, in fact it had become dangerous. I guess I needed to reach that point, because I was able to stay stopped the last time I quit. You can do it too! We have to be ready.
I had to be disgusted too - I was drinking every day - totally miserable and exhausted. There was no fun in it anymore, in fact it had become dangerous. I guess I needed to reach that point, because I was able to stay stopped the last time I quit. You can do it too! We have to be ready.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/...cing-sobriety/
Interesting read from a friend of mine today. Says everything I have wanted to say, but couldn't
Interesting read from a friend of mine today. Says everything I have wanted to say, but couldn't
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
I think I've given this to you before, but it's a great place to start for working out a plan
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
D
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by Beccybean
Welcome back OTRP. How can we help you? What do you think you need to help you stay sober?
Honest with myself, and stop minimizing my problem. I also need to put recovery first. No matter what! I'm soul searching and reaching out to friends in the aa program. Kept me sober last night, and God willing, it will work through the today and tonight as well. One day at a time.
Thanks for your support!
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