27- y.o. alcoholic/addict from FL
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Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Palm Bay
Posts: 41
27- y.o. alcoholic/addict from FL
Good evening everyone,
My name is Todd, and I am an alcoholic/addict. I've been in and out of the program since 2013. I'm 27, a college graduate, and to be honest, I've been told that many people have spilled more than I ever drank. It's not incorrect, either. I was never a social drinker, and didn't take my first drink until age 21.
I'm 31 days sober today, and I identify as an alcoholic/addict because of the way I drank. I isolated myself, and I never stopped at just one (that's a thing?). I found myself going steady periods between drinking, where "everything was fine," and I was just moving along, but the truth is I was just as messed up internally (stinking thinking) as I was when I drank.
I decided to get help about this seven months ago (note the different sobriety date) after I began leaving alcohol in my messenger bag at work (to drink on lunch breaks, of course). For the first few days, this seemed normal, but after awhile, I began to see the craziness in it.
I work for a large company, and there are many recovering alcoholics employed there. Embarrassed and ashamed as I was, I reached out to one, and she set me up with a meeting that night.
I didn't quite hit 90 in 90, but I came close. For the first few weeks, I was in it, gung-ho, 200%. I didn't start the steps though, and I "fired" my first sponsor because we didn't work out (spoiler alert ... it was my fault).
In April, I got quite sick, and while I didn't drink during this time, I was prescribed another mind-altering substance to ad in my physical recovery.
THAT WAS GREAT ... until I got better and kept taking the meds (was still going to meetings). Long story short, I confessed to my home group what I'd been doing, and after a lengthy discussion with my sponsor (and many mini discussions with other group members, I felt it was the right think to do to pick up another white chip.
I'm glad I did, and in a way, I've re-entered AA with a new vigor, and while sharing about my past brings up anxiety and pain, I know it needs to be done.
I consider myself working steps one through three right now, and I'll be honest, I'm terrified of the things that are going to come out of my mouth at meetings. It was much easier numbing the pain of a rough fmily life, cancer, amputation, terrible break-up, etc.
I'm teriffied by what's between my ears. LOL.
So I'm here. In addition to meetings, I'd like to join in on this community, because I see tons of things that have put my mind at ease already. I'm a writer, so my posts may get long (I'll work on that).
In any case, I'm glad to be here. Thank you for letting me share.
Todd G.
My name is Todd, and I am an alcoholic/addict. I've been in and out of the program since 2013. I'm 27, a college graduate, and to be honest, I've been told that many people have spilled more than I ever drank. It's not incorrect, either. I was never a social drinker, and didn't take my first drink until age 21.
I'm 31 days sober today, and I identify as an alcoholic/addict because of the way I drank. I isolated myself, and I never stopped at just one (that's a thing?). I found myself going steady periods between drinking, where "everything was fine," and I was just moving along, but the truth is I was just as messed up internally (stinking thinking) as I was when I drank.
I decided to get help about this seven months ago (note the different sobriety date) after I began leaving alcohol in my messenger bag at work (to drink on lunch breaks, of course). For the first few days, this seemed normal, but after awhile, I began to see the craziness in it.
I work for a large company, and there are many recovering alcoholics employed there. Embarrassed and ashamed as I was, I reached out to one, and she set me up with a meeting that night.
I didn't quite hit 90 in 90, but I came close. For the first few weeks, I was in it, gung-ho, 200%. I didn't start the steps though, and I "fired" my first sponsor because we didn't work out (spoiler alert ... it was my fault).
In April, I got quite sick, and while I didn't drink during this time, I was prescribed another mind-altering substance to ad in my physical recovery.
THAT WAS GREAT ... until I got better and kept taking the meds (was still going to meetings). Long story short, I confessed to my home group what I'd been doing, and after a lengthy discussion with my sponsor (and many mini discussions with other group members, I felt it was the right think to do to pick up another white chip.
I'm glad I did, and in a way, I've re-entered AA with a new vigor, and while sharing about my past brings up anxiety and pain, I know it needs to be done.
I consider myself working steps one through three right now, and I'll be honest, I'm terrified of the things that are going to come out of my mouth at meetings. It was much easier numbing the pain of a rough fmily life, cancer, amputation, terrible break-up, etc.
I'm teriffied by what's between my ears. LOL.
So I'm here. In addition to meetings, I'd like to join in on this community, because I see tons of things that have put my mind at ease already. I'm a writer, so my posts may get long (I'll work on that).
In any case, I'm glad to be here. Thank you for letting me share.
Todd G.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Palm Bay
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by Venecia 
Welcome, Todd. You'll find tons of support here.
Don't worry about the length of your post. (I'm not always known for brevity, either.)
Don't worry about the length of your post. (I'm not always known for brevity, either.)
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Welcome Todd! I'm also on day 31 today. We're an elite group!
Similar to you, I didn't take my first drink until I was 23 years old but was drinking alcoholically within that first year, I'm sure. I attended my first AA meeting at your current age of 27. I'm 40 years old now and am only now on what I think is the right path for recovery. Good on you for realizing your addiction early and for taking an active approach to your recovery. Hope you stick around here and post often. There's a ton of great wisdom and support to be found in these forums!
Similar to you, I didn't take my first drink until I was 23 years old but was drinking alcoholically within that first year, I'm sure. I attended my first AA meeting at your current age of 27. I'm 40 years old now and am only now on what I think is the right path for recovery. Good on you for realizing your addiction early and for taking an active approach to your recovery. Hope you stick around here and post often. There's a ton of great wisdom and support to be found in these forums!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Palm Bay
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by CaseyW
Welcome Todd! I'm also on day 31 today. We're an elite group!
Similar to you, I didn't take my first drink until I was 23 years old but was drinking alcoholically within that first year, I'm sure. I attended my first AA meeting at your current age of 27. I'm 40 years old now and am only now on what I think is the right path for recovery. Good on you for realizing your addiction early and for taking an active approach to your recovery. Hope you stick around here and post often. There's a ton of great wisdom and support to be found in these forums!
Similar to you, I didn't take my first drink until I was 23 years old but was drinking alcoholically within that first year, I'm sure. I attended my first AA meeting at your current age of 27. I'm 40 years old now and am only now on what I think is the right path for recovery. Good on you for realizing your addiction early and for taking an active approach to your recovery. Hope you stick around here and post often. There's a ton of great wisdom and support to be found in these forums!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 479
Welcome, Todd!
I too think it's great you had the wherewithal to realize you have a problem with drinking before your life could be filled with alcoholic war stories. Just an hour ago I discovered some more fall out from an awful binge that happened two months ago... Ugh.
I can relate to what you said about being scared of what's between your ears. I have had some pretty interesting internal dialogues with myself in sobriety regarding all sorts of issues/negative thinking. And while I sometimes fall into the trap of doubting that I can work through them (see binge two months ago), I do know it feels so empowering and encouraging when I can. No matter what the size of the problem is.
Glad to meet you and best to you on your new sober life!
I too think it's great you had the wherewithal to realize you have a problem with drinking before your life could be filled with alcoholic war stories. Just an hour ago I discovered some more fall out from an awful binge that happened two months ago... Ugh.
I can relate to what you said about being scared of what's between your ears. I have had some pretty interesting internal dialogues with myself in sobriety regarding all sorts of issues/negative thinking. And while I sometimes fall into the trap of doubting that I can work through them (see binge two months ago), I do know it feels so empowering and encouraging when I can. No matter what the size of the problem is.
Glad to meet you and best to you on your new sober life!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Welcoem abord Todd - I know you'll find a lot of support here 
I was terrified by what was between my ears too - but once I returned to sanity (and complete abstinence) I realised I could really trust my brain to make good decisions again
D
D
I was terrified by what was between my ears too - but once I returned to sanity (and complete abstinence) I realised I could really trust my brain to make good decisions again
D
D
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,384
Welcoem abord Todd - I know you'll find a lot of support here
I was terrified by what was between my ears too - but once I returned to sanity (and complete abstinence) I realised I could really trust my brain to make good decisions again
D
D
I was terrified by what was between my ears too - but once I returned to sanity (and complete abstinence) I realised I could really trust my brain to make good decisions again
D
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Welcome Todd.
When I was newly sober I thought I had unique feelings/thoughts and was troubled also.
I went to a lot of meetings and learned from the old timers about my priorities, be honest with myself about my drinking, accept the fact I cannot drink in safety and take action so I don’t repeat my past mistakes. When I got into the steps I was told #1 is the only one I needed to do perfectly than the rest would fall into place, perhaps not in my time preference.
A big obstacle I had was I didn’t know what I didn’t know, still that way. I do know that step one is the hardest and I never want to repeat having to do it again.
BE WELL
When I was newly sober I thought I had unique feelings/thoughts and was troubled also.
I went to a lot of meetings and learned from the old timers about my priorities, be honest with myself about my drinking, accept the fact I cannot drink in safety and take action so I don’t repeat my past mistakes. When I got into the steps I was told #1 is the only one I needed to do perfectly than the rest would fall into place, perhaps not in my time preference.
A big obstacle I had was I didn’t know what I didn’t know, still that way. I do know that step one is the hardest and I never want to repeat having to do it again.
BE WELL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Palm Bay
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by soberwolf
Welcome to SR
Originally Posted by IOAA2
Welcome Todd.
When I was newly sober I thought I had unique feelings/thoughts and was troubled also.
I went to a lot of meetings and learned from the old timers about my priorities, be honest with myself about my drinking, accept the fact I cannot drink in safety and take action so I don’t repeat my past mistakes. When I got into the steps I was told #1 is the only one I needed to do perfectly than the rest would fall into place, perhaps not in my time preference.
A big obstacle I had was I didn’t know what I didn’t know, still that way. I do know that step one is the hardest and I never want to repeat having to do it again.
BE WELL
When I was newly sober I thought I had unique feelings/thoughts and was troubled also.
I went to a lot of meetings and learned from the old timers about my priorities, be honest with myself about my drinking, accept the fact I cannot drink in safety and take action so I don’t repeat my past mistakes. When I got into the steps I was told #1 is the only one I needed to do perfectly than the rest would fall into place, perhaps not in my time preference.
A big obstacle I had was I didn’t know what I didn’t know, still that way. I do know that step one is the hardest and I never want to repeat having to do it again.
BE WELL
Originally Posted by Dee74
Welcoem abord Todd - I know you'll find a lot of support here
I was terrified by what was between my ears too - but once I returned to sanity (and complete abstinence) I realised I could really trust my brain to make good decisions again
I was terrified by what was between my ears too - but once I returned to sanity (and complete abstinence) I realised I could really trust my brain to make good decisions again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Palm Bay
Posts: 41
Hi all,
Wasn't sure where to post this, so forgive me if this is the wrong place. I'm still getting the hang of this.
Are there are any threads where steps 2 and 3 (higher power) are discussed? I struggle with both of them, and feel my recovery is being hindered as I'm unable to move forward.
Any help greatly appreciated.
Todd
Wasn't sure where to post this, so forgive me if this is the wrong place. I'm still getting the hang of this.
Are there are any threads where steps 2 and 3 (higher power) are discussed? I struggle with both of them, and feel my recovery is being hindered as I'm unable to move forward.
Any help greatly appreciated.
Todd
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Good to see you check in!
There is a very active 12 Step support forum located here:
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
On the top of that page there are also subforums for each step, but I don't think they are as active so you might be better off sticking to the main 12 step forum.
Hope you're doing ok today, ClosetCinephile!
There is a very active 12 Step support forum located here:
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
On the top of that page there are also subforums for each step, but I don't think they are as active so you might be better off sticking to the main 12 step forum.
Hope you're doing ok today, ClosetCinephile!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Palm Bay
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by CaseyW
Good to see you check in!
Hope you're doing ok today, ClosetCinephile!
Hope you're doing ok today, ClosetCinephile!
Exploring my feelings is a new thing for me, even though I've been in therapy for years. Ironic, huh?
Todd
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
Originally Posted by ClosetCinephile
Thank you, CaseyW. I'm doing okay. I've seen a lot of people post their day-to-day activities and thoughts on here (sort of like journaling), but I'm hesitant because I have no idea what I'd talk about. LOL.
Exploring my feelings is a new thing for me, even though I've been in therapy for years. Ironic, huh?
Todd
Exploring my feelings is a new thing for me, even though I've been in therapy for years. Ironic, huh?
Todd
Did you know that SR has a "class" for newcomers? It's a great way to share daily with others who are at the same point as you. The classes are a great place to get and give support, build accountability and share positive tips for living in the new sober life.
Here's the link to the new class, June of 2015:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
Joining my SR class was the best decision I made when I came here.
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