Blogs


Notices

Repressed emotions - when will I cry?

Old 06-07-2015, 04:04 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,411
Hi Hollow.

It took me a few months to begin to feel. While I was thrilled to be free of my daily drinking habit, I felt a bit frozen & in a state of shock sometimes. I'd been anesthetizing for years - we need time to heal. You will get there.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 06-07-2015, 08:58 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by zenchaser View Post
Just this week I cried 4 times over people who I lost years ago and I just never really allowed myself to grieve. I just kept pushing it down and pouring drinks on top of it...... and all of a sudden there it was just waiting for me. I haven't cried this much in years. I'm not talking about a few tears but deep down sadness and grief.

It will come when the time is right I guess.
Same here. I was too afraid of the strength of the emotions to grieve. I never recovered. Good to hear.
HollowHappiness is offline  
Old 06-07-2015, 08:59 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Welcome to SR HH
Thanks soberwolf. Glad to be here.
HollowHappiness is offline  
Old 06-07-2015, 09:09 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Welcome HH

Like others have said, I don't think there's a right answer or a wrong one?
I'm just glad you found us and you're nearing 60 days

D
Hey D. I suppose for me, it's a matter of control = certainty. I've been worrying about everything since I can last remember. I need to let go, and just go with the flow
HollowHappiness is offline  
Old 06-07-2015, 09:18 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by NAP View Post
Wow, I really relate. I'm at 67 days (yay us!) and I have found myself coming to tears a few times out of the blue in the past few weeks. Don't force it. Have you tried watching a sad movie? That might push start a good cry? I think it'll happen when it happens; I've also heard journalling helps. Keep us posted 'cause I'm in the same boat!
Congratulations! I'm very proud of you. I think I'm trailing only slighty behind you. I can sort of feel the tears nearing the surface, but like physically nothing happens. I'm very excited that some tears have come out for you.

I have started journaling a few weeks ago. It does really help explore our emotions, but I can only write so much without feeling anything before stopping. It has helped me clear many of my thoughts too.

I highly recommend you to start meditating (if you haven't already), since you are nearing the verge of tears. It helps you locate and feel your emotions in your body, and teaches you to acknowledge and accept them without judgment and let them pass.

Start by focusing on the breath. You will be very distracted at the beginning. Whenever you notice that you're thinking, just return your attention to the breath. Try to focus on a specific spot where you can feel the breath going in and out of the nose (e.g. the rims).

Just start with 5-10 mins at first, and stick with it. I guarantee you will hate it and think that it is a waste of time at first. It will really help you with your progress.

I will make sure to keep you posted. I would appreciate it if you kept me in the loop with your progress too
HollowHappiness is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to HollowHappiness For This Useful Post:
NAP (06-10-2015)
Old 06-07-2015, 09:24 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Hi Hollow.

It took me a few months to begin to feel. While I was thrilled to be free of my daily drinking habit, I felt a bit frozen & in a state of shock sometimes. I'd been anesthetizing for years - we need time to heal. You will get there.
Hey Hevyn. Frozen is a great way to put it. It definitely felt like a zombieish, apathetic state for me, but I can feel it gradually improving. It just goes to show how difficult the process is. It takes a great deal of courage and hope.
HollowHappiness is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to HollowHappiness For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (06-08-2015)
Old 06-07-2015, 09:48 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Berrybean's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,873
Blog Entries: 2
I can relate as well. I suppose most articles aren't written by alcoholics. The understanding just isn't there really.

I think my go-to response was masking through addictive behaviours.
If that wasn't possible, I was quite adept at turning pretty much any negative emotion (guilt; sadness; grief; loneliness; etc.) into fear and anxiety, or anger. Preferably anger.

My personal sobriety journey has taken me through the 12-step route with AA, which has really helped me to recognise; understand; and learn different ways of dealing with my emotions. There have been several light-bulb moments and lots of tears in the last year. I can't believe how differently I am already able to cope with certain situations (although it's def still a work in progress) - but working through my resentments; fears; and harms in Step 4 was a massive eye-opener, and opened the floodgates but in a very good way. I now have quite emotional moments that sneak up; maybe when the words of a song resonate, or a photo provokes a memory and I 'weep' (don't think I did 'weeping' before - just angry crying) but maybe that's healthy. Anyway - not much I can do about that.

Good luck. Keep us posted
Berrybean is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Berrybean For This Useful Post:
Hevyn (06-08-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:28 AM.