Trying to find courage
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 2
Trying to find courage
I've been at odds with myself for some time now about the nature of my behaviors and scoffed when I heard people say "insanity" in regards to their alcoholism. All the while, I am on probation for my first-hopefully my last-DUI, still trying to sneak around my in home breathalyzer which I am required to use twice daily. In this last month I've blown into it and failed twice, baffled at how my "full proof plan" didn't work. I've been in and out of AA, rehab and one regrettable hospitalization for years, and I'm only recently 23. I found myself unable to sleep tonight and was researching "how to be positive" and ended up here.
I'm afraid of change and always have been, in regards to the toll NOT drinking would have in my friendships, pride and really mainly my social life for so long. I guess also in terms of what that would mean as far as really putting effort and investing in my own life. I haven't really done that since I was 13.
I'm hopeful that someone here will have some words of encouragement or help here, I'm trying to be braver and bolder moving forward (sans liquid courage). Thanks
I'm afraid of change and always have been, in regards to the toll NOT drinking would have in my friendships, pride and really mainly my social life for so long. I guess also in terms of what that would mean as far as really putting effort and investing in my own life. I haven't really done that since I was 13.
I'm hopeful that someone here will have some words of encouragement or help here, I'm trying to be braver and bolder moving forward (sans liquid courage). Thanks
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi MtEverest 
I moved your thread here to Newcomers forum - you'll get more response here
I think most of us are afraid of change - I know I was...but change can be good too
I hated my life as a drinker by the end - and I love my life sober now - I'm still me, and I'm having the best time of my life - seriously
You'll find a lot of support here
D
I moved your thread here to Newcomers forum - you'll get more response here
I think most of us are afraid of change - I know I was...but change can be good too
I hated my life as a drinker by the end - and I love my life sober now - I'm still me, and I'm having the best time of my life - seriously
You'll find a lot of support here
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
I can identify with much of your fears and feelings.
I bounced around during my first two+years because I was dishonest with myself about the true nature of my drinking and would not accept the fact I could not drink in safety.
The bottom line was I was immature in my thinking process because of the effects of drinking so much alcohol. Things changed toward the end physically and mentally I was sick and tired of being sick and tired because my profound thinking and doing just was not working.
I fortunately had some good sober people convince me my slippery path was getting too steep to get back up on if I continued drinking so I tried 90 meetings in 90 days and as they said if I didn’t like the results my misery was refundable. Fortunately that was a lot of years ago and I’ve never regretted one minute of it.
I needed to want to be sober more than being a drunk and accept things I didn’t like because of my immaturity and fears.
Over the years I’m amazed at the backgrounds of different people who have maintained their sobriety compared to their background by just not picking up the first drink.
Without knowing you I know you can do it also IF you want to.
BE WELL
I can identify with much of your fears and feelings.
I bounced around during my first two+years because I was dishonest with myself about the true nature of my drinking and would not accept the fact I could not drink in safety.
The bottom line was I was immature in my thinking process because of the effects of drinking so much alcohol. Things changed toward the end physically and mentally I was sick and tired of being sick and tired because my profound thinking and doing just was not working.
I fortunately had some good sober people convince me my slippery path was getting too steep to get back up on if I continued drinking so I tried 90 meetings in 90 days and as they said if I didn’t like the results my misery was refundable. Fortunately that was a lot of years ago and I’ve never regretted one minute of it.
I needed to want to be sober more than being a drunk and accept things I didn’t like because of my immaturity and fears.
Over the years I’m amazed at the backgrounds of different people who have maintained their sobriety compared to their background by just not picking up the first drink.
Without knowing you I know you can do it also IF you want to.
BE WELL
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 212
Welcome Mt Everest!
All of us have been EXACTLY where you are! I recommend just absorbing as much info as you can to see that you are not the only one in the world going through this!
Maybe it will give you the courage to give the liquids up and realize that a sober life is not only doable but sooo rewarding!
You first have to want to stop drinking though!
Good luck and we are here to support you!
All of us have been EXACTLY where you are! I recommend just absorbing as much info as you can to see that you are not the only one in the world going through this!
Maybe it will give you the courage to give the liquids up and realize that a sober life is not only doable but sooo rewarding!
You first have to want to stop drinking though!
Good luck and we are here to support you!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Gulf Coast, USA
Posts: 2,229
Mteverest, welcome to SR. Glad you found us and there is a ton of support here.
You can do this, it is possible and within your grasp to get your life back. At 23, you will be so glad you made this decision early on in life rather than waiting another 1, 5, 10, or in my case 18 years. Trust me, life is so much richer and rewarding sober.
Welcome
You can do this, it is possible and within your grasp to get your life back. At 23, you will be so glad you made this decision early on in life rather than waiting another 1, 5, 10, or in my case 18 years. Trust me, life is so much richer and rewarding sober.
Welcome
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Fear of sobriety is a hallmark of addiction. I had it in spades. It is a lie the addiction manufactures to maintain influence over us.
My addiction is a pathological liar. In 25 years it hasn't told me one true thing. I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life improved dramatically. I highly recommend it.
You can do this.
My addiction is a pathological liar. In 25 years it hasn't told me one true thing. I stopped taking advice from a known liar and my life improved dramatically. I highly recommend it.
You can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
I agree with Nonsensical, fear is part of addictions strategy to keep us under the spell.
Once you open the door to sobriety, there is nothing scary on the other side.
It does take work tho. The step you did is the biggest, admitting something is wrong with your relationship with Alcohol.
Welcome to SR!
Once you open the door to sobriety, there is nothing scary on the other side.
It does take work tho. The step you did is the biggest, admitting something is wrong with your relationship with Alcohol.
Welcome to SR!
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
You've already proven your plan of sneaky drinking won't work. Glad you've found us and are trying something different.
If you're looking for positivity, I've found that getting involved and invested in others who are suffering from alcoholism is a great positive for me. Even doing simple things like welcoming you in here is also helping to keep me sober today while making me a less self-involved person. I highly suggest you join the Class of June 2015 thread that is found on this same forum. Get to know those folks. Help them and they'll help you.
Wishing you the best today. Sober living gets better every single day for me.
If you're looking for positivity, I've found that getting involved and invested in others who are suffering from alcoholism is a great positive for me. Even doing simple things like welcoming you in here is also helping to keep me sober today while making me a less self-involved person. I highly suggest you join the Class of June 2015 thread that is found on this same forum. Get to know those folks. Help them and they'll help you.
Wishing you the best today. Sober living gets better every single day for me.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: rockville
Posts: 126
I'm with ccam. If I could turn the clock back 25 years the biggest change I would make is to stay away from drugs and alcohol. Bullet proof 20's turn into habitual 30's and health degrading 40's. Risk risk/reward equation is 100% risk with 0% reward.
Good luck and post often!
Good luck and post often!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,498
The fear of stopping drinking is part of the disease of addiction, meant to keep you hooked. You can stop drinking and you can live a sober and happy life. There is lots of hope.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 3,109
Originally Posted by Anna 
The fear of stopping drinking is part of the disease of addiction, meant to keep you hooked. You can stop drinking and you can live a sober and happy life. There is lots of hope.
Nailed it!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 984
Welcome Everest. I'm also in my 20s, though quite a bit older at 29. While it seems impossible to navigate social situations at this stage in life while sober, I've now had 16-consecutive sober weekends and just one slip up in the last 110 days. I've been to two weddings, a bachelor party, happy hours, birthday parties, etc.
Like you, I also got hospitalized after drinking way too much and passing out on the subway. That happened twice. Never had a DUI, but have don't lots of regrettable things. I wish I'd started trying at 23 years old, but I didn't really think I had a problem then, even though alcohol was causing me problems.
Hope you stick around here!
Like you, I also got hospitalized after drinking way too much and passing out on the subway. That happened twice. Never had a DUI, but have don't lots of regrettable things. I wish I'd started trying at 23 years old, but I didn't really think I had a problem then, even though alcohol was causing me problems.
Hope you stick around here!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Oslo
Posts: 1
My first contact with an attempt to getting help.
Hi.
Thank you for inspiring me. I am now drunk. And I am waiting to get help.
I have an alcohol problem that needs to be fixed. I also do some coke when I feel like I'm too drunk. I am a flight attendant but now I am not working, I am on sick leave due to this problem. My employer will provide proper treatment for me and then the social government will provide the rest. I have to do this. I want to get well. Be normal and have the chance to dance and do arts. And to be a good girlfriend. Please help me.
Thank you for inspiring me. I am now drunk. And I am waiting to get help.
I have an alcohol problem that needs to be fixed. I also do some coke when I feel like I'm too drunk. I am a flight attendant but now I am not working, I am on sick leave due to this problem. My employer will provide proper treatment for me and then the social government will provide the rest. I have to do this. I want to get well. Be normal and have the chance to dance and do arts. And to be a good girlfriend. Please help me.
Last edited by Dee74; 06-09-2015 at 11:02 PM. Reason: edited other members quote out for clarity
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
